KIZITO SPEAKS VII

Blog_Kizito SpeaksMark. Pot-bellied. Short (when you consider my height), with a Hippo kinda look. He had a huge crush on me – an unnerving, lust-filled desire. He was in love. And I didn’t even like him. I had no interest in him whatsoever.

Mark is a typical Igbo business man (if you know what I mean). He agitated me with the way he chatted and talked. And Mark, God love him, could like to call and talk nonsense! Tufia!

Anyway, I was aware he genuinely liked me. I’d used this a little to my advantage while he was still in the country (he’s out to look for a greener pasture). So, he was chatting me up on 2go one time; a time when I was in need of a better phone. (These times come often though, as I always find myself owning one palasa or another. :|). Continue reading

Kiss And Tell (Entry 1)

Blog_Kiss And TellFOREWORD: KingBey has had sexcapades, and he is talking about them. 🙂 This is the first entry of his debut series. Read and — Oh whaddaell, you’ll surely let us know what you think after you’ve read this. lol

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And that was how I was on my own on a cold, rainy season evening. This was in April 2008, and I was in school, Abia State University. I’d just finished my degree exams the November of the previous year, but I often came around to the school every now and then to complete and defend my project.

This particular evening, I was seated at a kiosk around the Boy’s Hostel sipping on a Sprite and munching biscuits. Then this tall, dark, slim, young, kind-faced and soft-spoken student pastor came up to preach to me. Let me add here that the school happened to be on vacation then. So the environment was scanty, especially the hostel area. The students who were around were mostly those on the project completion mission as I was, part-time students and some few regular students with one academic issue or the other. So this good-looking student pastor approached me, requested to sit with me, and at my nod, he sat on the bench beside me. Even before he started talking, I knew he was on an evangelical mission. There was this obvious air of righteous rectitude about him that had him pegged. Continue reading

RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 18)

Blog_Rantings Of A Random (GAY) NigerianAdvertising should not contain any content that promotes homosexuality and other sexual perversions…

Now I am working on a professional certification in Management and I was struggling with it, seeing as my background is in sciences. After forming badoo for a few weeks and finally realizing/accepting that I needed help, I signed up for a tutorial class from an accredited centre. So we were having a class on Saturday (which is sad because I absolutely cherish my weekends), and we were learning something about legal frame work in public relations when the tutor read out that phrase:

Advertising should not contain any content that promotes homosexuality and other sexual perversions…

I looked around my classroom in one of the very small halls of the hotel we were using, and my classmates were quiet and scribbling. My inner subconscious begged me not to say anything, but before I could stop myself, my hand was up. After all, I was paying a lot of money for these classes and, by God, my voice must be heard. Continue reading

Carl’s Existentialism V

Blog_Carl’s ExistentialismI’m back in school now, and I have had a shitty sleeping schedule. On Sunday night, I slept at around 4am, knowing I had to be up at 8. Obviously, I slept through half of my Micro class.

“Oh Micro! Why art thou so revealing?” I ask myself in the class every time we learn something new. One thing I kept thinking to myself during class is, all the people who breed the booty like groceries better watch out. E. coli, a bacterium that is normally found in the digestive tract and is very helpful for us, is classified as an opportunistic pathogen if it enters the urinary tract, bloodstream or an open wound. Opportunistic pathogen means that it would lie in wait or be dormant until your immune system is weak. You see where I’m going with this? If a Top has a cut on his lip or tongue, and eats a relatively unclean booty like a starved lion eating its fresh prey, then E. coli from the area of the anus could be transferred into the bloodstream and lie in wait for when the Top’s body’s defenses are weakened. Chei. So also, if the Top fucks raw, the E. coli could move through the D and into the urinary tract, and possibly cause an infection later (don’t quote me on this o, lol. I’m merely speculating. I am no expert). My dearest brothers and sisters, be careful biko. Continue reading

Carl’s Existentialism IV

Blog_Carl’s ExistentialismWhen we were younger, our parents, friends or life introduced movies or music and many more emotional triggers that influenced us. In some ways, these sources of entertainment or situations that we experienced shaped a number of our ideals, or just made us blossom fully into who we are. Barring one of my best friends, no one knows how emotionally vested I am in the world and things around me. I am easily moved to tears. When I watched The New Legend of Shaolin, my heart broke and eyes brimmed with the treatment of Hei-Kung and Man Ting. After watching The Lion King, I sobbed at the betrayal that came from one’s own brother. When Titanic ended, I jejely got up from the chair in the living room, went to the bathroom, and wailed my being out on the floor. I was overcome with emotions for the suffering of characters, who I thought were real. (How could I have thought this? LOL) Continue reading

THE HOOK-UP STORY II

Blog_Sex StoriesFOREWORD: This is a tentative nonfictional series (the first out of two, and tentative because the writers haven’t committed fully to the idea) that will be the narration of man’s basic desire – Sex. (Sapiosexuals, you may look away now) ‘The Hook-Up Story’ is a narration of Regal Sweetheart’s sexcapades, and the second series is that of KingBey (he’s still working out some kinks).

If you haven’t read the debut of Regal Sweetheart’s Hook-Up Story, you may check it out HERE. And now, for the second episode, read and enjoy.

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It was supposed to be a Sunday like every other. Wake up early, go to church and be useful, then come back and work till late. I’m one who works everyday to keep the bills paid and have some extra, as I like to be independent. Plus, I love what I do for work. It entails me going from place to place and speaking quite educatedly.

But this Sunday was different. I swear, the heavens must have set ‘Lazy Song’ as my soundtrack for the day, because not only did I not go to church, I also slept back after a few hours of my waking and almost missed the time for work. Almost. Continue reading

The +++ Journals: Entry III

Blog_The +++ JournalsDaberechi and I were destined to be friends. I believed it was beyond serendipity to keep bumping into her on various Social Media platforms. I guess this was because we seemingly played around the same circles and had a handful of mutual friends. While I mostly enjoyed playing Switzerland online when community-related debates and issues sprang up, her opinions and reactions were vocal and unpretentious. I particularly admired her brazen approach and grace against the harsh criticisms and lashing she often faced from trolls and cyber-bullies.

So I decided to friend her on Facebook and although our chats were seldom, I managed to stay in touch with her over the last year or thereabout. I had promised her countless times that I would visit and bring over some material for the Human Rights Initiative she managed, especially since she always seemed to have answers for me when I reached out to her.

“Hey girlfriend,” she said after a loud yawn. Continue reading

KIZITO SPEAKS VI

Blog_Kizito SpeaksRead the prequel to this episode HERE

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I settled down and was taking in the details of the living room. I wasn’t very comfortable. Lamar’s friend – who he introduced as Joe – had welcomed me briefly and gone back in to finish a cigarette. Lamar went to get refreshment. He mixed Ogidiga with Hollandia Strawberry Yogurt and offered me a glass to sip. I declined, but he was persistent.

I thought to myself, does he want to drug me and then –

But he had mixed the drinks in my very before. Anyway, I took the glass and took a sip. Hmm. Bitter-sweet taste. I kinda liked it. He sat down across me and kept his stare fixated on my features. Me, I simply kept my own gaze on the mute TV and paid attention to the music coming from the stereo.

“I like your music…” I said. Continue reading

Carl’s Existentialism III

Blog_Carl’s ExistentialismAccording to http://www.allaboutphilosophy.org, “existentialism is a philosophy concerned with finding self and the meaning of life through free will, choice, and personal responsibility.” I understand it as a journey; a way to find oneself in any way that is comfortable, yet possible and realistic. For existentialism, “the belief is that people are searching to find out whom and what they are throughout life, as they make choices based on their experiences, beliefs, and outlook.”

Through Kito Diaries, I try to confront my hard truths by baring it all, even though behind a pseudonym, making sure that I am as honest as possible, and hopefully have an effect on at least one person. Someone said last week that ‘Carl’s Existentialism’ doesn’t seem to match with the weekly content. At first glance, I was a little down by the remark, but then after some self-scolding, I realized that I can’t help what people think. I can’t guide people to look beyond the surface and deeper at meanings that may or may not be hidden. It deeply pains me that whoever that person is could willingly type those hurtful words and call them criticism, let alone constructive criticism.

Anyway, I am not looking for a bone to pick. I consider the title an art, because I entirely came up with it. ANYONE who writes on this blog is an artist in himself or herself. The fact that people can take a time out of their day to construct ideas, characters, be they fiction, nonfiction or poetry, is a feat not easily accomplished. So if you don’t understand something, it’s okay to put in your little two cents, but endeavour not to put down the work read. #SpreadLove

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I never understood why people used to call me girly. Up until JSS1, I always thought of myself as free spirited boy. Continue reading

What’s On Your Mind… V

Blog_What's On Your MindA few weeks ago, I went on a trip to one of the cities in the South for the wedding of an old friend. We’d been rather close during our days on campus, but well, life happens to us all, and in the years since we graduated and got busy with our careers, we drifted apart, in spite of the fact that we worked not too far from each other. I guess it was mostly due to a tendency on my part to spend less and less time with people with whom I couldn’t truly be myself with.

Anyway, out of the blue one day, he called me up and after the initial “Nawa o, you dey this country so? Nobody dey see you o, e be like you don hammer and you wan chop ya money only you”, to which I made the usual excuses and some noises about being busy and all, and how we ought to meet up soon for drinks and a chance to catch up. Of course, I had no intention of making this meeting happen anytime soon. And so, he informed me that he was soon to be married and wished that I be one of his groomsmen. I groaned inwardly and eventually reluctantly made up my mind to be part of his nuptials, especially as he subsequently called me several times in the following days to be sure that I would be present at his wedding. I coughed out the money for the groomsmen suit, and soon, I arrived at my friend’s town a day before the wedding. My journey was quicker than I’d anticipated, and so I got into town well before evening. I had to stop over at an old (gay) friend’s place to catch up and get my freak on. Later in the evening, after an exhausting session of bedmatics, I headed over to the apartment where the soon-to-be married guy had arranged for his groomsmen to be accommodated. It was late so I said my hellos and shortly after undressed for bedtime. The groom and a few other old friends made some noise about going clubbing, but I feigned extreme exhaustion from my long journey; I really wasn’t in the mood to party with them. I knew very well that the night would end with all the guys picking up and coming back with girls/hookers. Indeed, I was woken later in the night by the sound of one of the guys going at it with a girl he’d brought back from the club. I clasped the pillow tight to over my ears and tried to shut out their lust-filled sounds.

The next day, the wedding came and passed without a hitch. Continue reading