Dear KD: We Need A Solution to This Kito Story

blackmentalkingThe story is not one you aren’t familiar with. A recent acquaintance of mine in school was recently invited by a fellow who we all know is queer. When my acquaintance arrived at his place, about seven guys fell on him. They flogged him with a rod which gave him lots of bruises, and they took his Blackberry phone and ATM card, promptly emptying his account of the 32k in it, leaving only the ledger balance of 1k. Thankfully, he hadn’t gone on the visit with his other more expensive phone. He was videotaped naked and forced to confess to being gay, as well as naming other gay people in the school. He was asked to bring 180k before Friday otherwise the video will be released.

This all happened on Saturday night.

We need suggestions on how best to solve this problem, hopefully with whatever shred of dignity my friend has left intact.

Submitted by Anonymous

Dear KD: I Have A Question About Finding Love

blackmentalkingHow do guys find love, what with the harsh climes we live in?

I always did wonder, because I hear of friends and stories of people finding love, hooking up and all that. I’m 25 and I’ve never been in a relationship.

See, I’m immensely shy, I never know what to say to a guy I find attractive so I just steal glances, or stare, depending on how courageous I feel per-time. I have also been rejected a lot of times by guys who feel nothing for me whereas I feel everything for them, and I have been a victim of blackmail by ‘Kitos’.

I don’t want to recede completely into myself and become a cold, unfeeling creature as I slowly am becoming. But I do not have the courage to step up to someone and say “hey”. I’m not very outgoing, so I don’t even know where people go where they meet people. Continue reading

Dear KD: I’m In A Relationship With A Guy I’m Not Sure I Should Love

blackmentalkingI accepted my sexuality five years ago, and I would say that I haven’t been so lucky with love. Life has thrown shit at me and I somehow bounce back and carry on. But when it comes to the heartbreaks I’ve suffered, I’m not entirely sure I bounce back from those. There are memories that forever linger. I can only suppress them for a while because they keep lurking inside my heart, threatening to overtake me.

And these failed relationships have made me set up rules and standards that many perceive to mean I’m overly prudish or dramatic; rules like ‘I’m not gonna date a bisexual,’ ‘He mustn’t be my age-mate,’ ‘He must be this and that,’ ‘It must happen this way and that way,’ and so on and so forth. And because of my rigidity, I ended up being celibate for a year and a few months. I had to stick to my rules, because even though I am cool and amazing, I am emotionally vulnerable. Continue reading