Hey guys, its John Oceans again. Since my last post, I have met a guy, fallen in love, cheated on him and gotten dumped. So, I’m back on the market again. Any takers? *side eyeing PP*
Anyway, it was the BET awards last Sunday, and I was kinda, sorta disappointed with the Red Carpet. There was no Wow factor, nothing very breathtaking – like perhaps, a Kardashian getting a PhD. So, here’s my judgment of the Red Carpet. Check on it, and either send out arrest warrants for the offenders you agree with me or bail money for those you don’t.
One word – Flawless, Amazing! Oh shoot, that’s two. Zendaya was all shades of fabulous in this dress. Yes, it’s a bit too short, but the former Patchouli-Oil-And-Weed starlet pulled it off!
This girl is a star after my fashion heart – a style savant. What is amazing about Riri is that clothes that other women would look trashy in leave her looking classy. She can show up naked at an event and still look classy – Oh that’s right, she already did that. She is a star!
Winner! So many trends going on in one outfit, yet it came together beautifully well. Can I give him head please? *lifts bandana print shirt*
Two words: Bow Down. (I want to add ‘Bitches’, but I’m afraid those haven’t finished paying their respects to Queen Bey).
Slay! I love when men rock some color on the red carpet. I love the red jacket and the skinny jeans. This one is a winner! Good one!
Real men wear pink, but they make sure the length is perfect and they wear appropriate shoes.
She’s easily the best dressed for the night, hands down. She looks classy and elegant, but not Oscar-ish! Love, love, love!
And he is easily the best dressed man, hands down! Best use of color ever! I am officially in love.
She looks like a sexy vampire! All shades of awesome. Good one.
I am in love with this guy to the point of obsession, so I may not be able to give an objective review. Something about this look is ruggedly sexy to me, and I just want to rip him to shreds. He can do no wrong in my rule book!
Amber Rose and Blac Chyna
Yes, they made a political statement with their kiss and all, but how they end up looking like hoes in classic white pant suits beats my imagination.
I was very underwhelmed by this look. She does look good, but the choice is way too safe and the hemline of her pants does not work for me. I get that the BET is not her turf, but she doesn’t have to look like the side chick of a dead billionaire at his funeral.
Biko, who put together this dress? Looks like the work of an obioma tailor. I like that she is wearing a clean silhouette and has done away with her ridiculous costumes, but the tailoring and finishing of this dress is just sad.
I am on the fence about this look. The design looks less than perfect around the waist area. I am a sucker for natural hair, so she gets props for her hair. Plus her pink shoes are adorbs, she did not do the whole matchy-matchy look!
Bhet the big question is – What is going on with her career sef? The singing career, not the Broadway career…
I mean he can afford an iron, no? Showing up to the BET in a rumpled outfit is a big NO-NO!
On the bright side, his shoes add a little whimsy to an otherwise classic look, but I still cannot get over the wrinkles!
She looks okay, but the bra looks like one of my mom’s baking pans for crusted cakes.
Bikonu who is this? Way too many trends in one look; it’s almost as if she collided with a rainbow. Less is more, honey!
If she had lined the dress, it would have been one of my best looks of the night. But she looks trashy with everything hanging out for the world to see. Her ‘Olympus has fallen’ gazungos are worlds apart from each other. Trying too hard to look young, eh missy?
Oga, if you must buy a suit off the rack, find a tailor and get it fitted to your body! This is embarrassing. Nice shoes though.
With her hot body and all, this is what Ciara chose to wear? 50 cents must have changed the settings of her brain with all that nacking!
This dress is ill-fitting and hideous, and I just wanna cut a bit of it out to wash the back of my grandmother’s pot.
*sigh* Where does she shop? Whore ‘r’ Us? This dress is tacky on a scale on 1 to tacky. And it did not do justice to her amazing body.
Hey, look guys, big bird was chopped into two, dyed black and sent down the red carpet. NEEEEEEEEXXXXT! *in Marki Costello’s voice*
Look who escaped from Betty Ford. Where do I even start? If I saw this guy walking towards me on the street, I would hold close to me my wallet and smartphone. And those shoes? Yaba under bridge, anyone?
She looks trashy! Did she swallow a kid before attending?
Oh look, it’s the angel from hoe-ven! This was an epic fail on all levels. First of all, peplum dresses are for women without hips to give the illusion of hips. Think peplum and think Blake Lively and Giuliana Ranstick – sorry, Rancic. But this one with her massive hips squeezed herself into peplum with her boobs spilling out? Sister, no.
This was one of my worst looks of the night.