KD’s Fashion Police: BET Awards 2015

Hey guys, its John Oceans again. Since my last post, I have met a guy, fallen in love, cheated on him and gotten dumped. So, I’m back on the market again. Any takers? *side eyeing PP*

Anyway, it was the BET awards last Sunday, and I was kinda, sorta disappointed with the Red Carpet. There was no Wow factor, nothing very breathtaking – like perhaps, a Kardashian getting a PhD. So, here’s my judgment of the Red Carpet. Check on it, and either send out arrest warrants for the offenders you agree with me or bail money for those you don’t.

THE GOOD

BET ZendayaZendaya Coleman

One word – Flawless, Amazing! Oh shoot, that’s two. Zendaya was all shades of fabulous in this dress. Yes, it’s a bit too short, but the former Patchouli-Oil-And-Weed starlet pulled it off!

BET RihannaRihanna

This girl is a star after my fashion heart – a style savant. What is amazing about Riri is that clothes that other women would look trashy in leave her looking classy. She can show up naked at an event and still look classy – Oh that’s right, she already did that. She is a star!

06/28/2015 - Jeremih - 2015 BET Awards - Arrivals - Microsoft Theater - Los Angeles, CA, USA - Keywords: full length, singer Orientation: Portrait Face Count: 1 - False - Photo Credit: Aaron J. Thornton / PR Photos - Contact (1-866-551-7827) - Portrait Face Count: 1

Jeremih

Winner! So many trends going on in one outfit, yet it came together beautifully well. Can I give him head please? *lifts bandana print shirt*

BET Nicole Ari ParkerNicole Ari Parker

Two words: Bow Down. (I want to add ‘Bitches’, but I’m afraid those haven’t finished paying their respects to Queen Bey).

BET Machine Gun KellyMachine Gun Kelly

Slay! I love when men rock some color on the red carpet. I love the red jacket and the skinny jeans. This one is a winner! Good one!

BET Flo RidaFlo Rida

Real men wear pink, but they make sure the length is perfect and they wear appropriate shoes.

BET Tracee Ellis RossTracee Ellis Ross

She’s easily the best dressed for the night, hands down. She looks classy and elegant, but not Oscar-ish! Love, love, love!

BET Floyd MayweatherFloyd Mayweather

And he is easily the best dressed man, hands down! Best use of color ever! I am officially in love.

BET Janaelle MonaeJanaelle Monae

She looks like a sexy vampire! All shades of awesome. Good one.

06/28/2015 - Kendrick Lamar - 2015 BET Awards - Arrivals - Microsoft Theater - Los Angeles, CA, USA - Keywords: full length, rapper Orientation: Portrait Face Count: 1 - False - Photo Credit: Aaron J. Thornton / PR Photos - Contact (1-866-551-7827) - Portrait Face Count: 1

Kendrick Lamar

I am in love with this guy to the point of obsession, so I may not be able to give an objective review. Something about this look is ruggedly sexy to me, and I just want to rip him to shreds. He can do no wrong in my rule book!

 

THE ERM…OKAY

2015 BET Awards held at the Microsoft Theater - Arrivals Featuring: Blac Chyna, Amber Rose Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 28 Jun 2015 Credit: WENN.com

Amber Rose and Blac Chyna

Yes, they made a political statement with their kiss and all, but how they end up looking like hoes in classic white pant suits beats my imagination.

BET Laverne CoxLaverne Cox

I was very underwhelmed by this look. She does look good, but the choice is way too safe and the hemline of her pants does not work for me. I get that the BET is not her turf, but she doesn’t have to look like the side chick of a dead billionaire at his funeral.

BET Nicki MinajNicki Minaj

Biko, who put together this dress? Looks like the work of an obioma tailor. I like that she is wearing a clean silhouette and has done away with her ridiculous costumes, but the tailoring and finishing of this dress is just sad.

06/28/2015 - Brandy Norwood - 2015 BET Awards - Arrivals - Microsoft Theater - Los Angeles, CA, USA - Keywords: full length, singer, actress Orientation: Portrait Face Count: 1 - False - Photo Credit: Aaron J. Thornton / PR Photos - Contact (1-866-551-7827) - Portrait Face Count: 1

Brandy

I am on the fence about this look. The design looks less than perfect around the waist area. I am a sucker for natural hair, so she gets props for her hair. Plus her pink shoes are adorbs, she did not do the whole matchy-matchy look!

Bhet the big question is – What is going on with her career sef? The singing career, not the Broadway career…

06/28/2015 - Jussie Smollett - 2015 BET Awards - Arrivals - Microsoft Theater - Los Angeles, CA, USA - Keywords: full length, singer, actor Orientation: Portrait Face Count: 1 - False - Photo Credit: Aaron J. Thornton / PR Photos - Contact (1-866-551-7827) - Portrait Face Count: 1

Jussie Smollet

I mean he can afford an iron, no? Showing up to the BET in a rumpled outfit is a big NO-NO!

On the bright side, his shoes add a little whimsy to an otherwise classic look, but I still cannot get over the wrinkles!

BET KarruecheKarrueche Tramp – sorry, Tran

She looks okay, but the bra looks like one of my mom’s baking pans for crusted cakes.

BET Lala AnthonyLala Anthony

Bikonu who is this? Way too many trends in one look; it’s almost as if she collided with a rainbow. Less is more, honey!

06/28/2015 - LisaRaye McCoy - 2015 BET Awards - Arrivals - Microsoft Theater - Los Angeles, CA, USA - Keywords: full length, actress, dress Orientation: Portrait Face Count: 1 - False - Photo Credit: Aaron J. Thornton / PR Photos - Contact (1-866-551-7827) - Portrait Face Count: 1

LisaRaye McCoy

If she had lined the dress, it would have been one of my best looks of the night. But she looks trashy with everything hanging out for the world to see. Her ‘Olympus has fallen’ gazungos are worlds apart from each other. Trying too hard to look young, eh missy?

BET Michael B JordanMichael B. Jordan

Oga, if you must buy a suit off the rack, find a tailor and get it fitted to your body! This is embarrassing. Nice shoes though.

 

THE WTF

BET CiaraCiara

With her hot body and all, this is what Ciara chose to wear? 50 cents must have changed the settings of her brain with all that nacking!

This dress is ill-fitting and hideous, and I just wanna cut a bit of it out to wash the back of my grandmother’s pot.

BET Christina MilanChristina Milan

*sigh* Where does she shop? Whore ‘r’ Us? This dress is tacky on a scale on 1 to tacky. And it did not do justice to her amazing body.

BET Kelly RowlandKelly Rowland

Hey, look guys, big bird was chopped into two, dyed black and sent down the red carpet. NEEEEEEEEXXXXT! *in Marki Costello’s voice*

BET Chris BrownChris Brown

Look who escaped from Betty Ford. Where do I even start? If I saw this guy walking towards me on the street, I would hold close to me my wallet and smartphone. And those shoes? Yaba under bridge, anyone?

BET Angela SimmonsAngela Simmons

She looks trashy! Did she swallow a kid before attending?

06/28/2015 - Jazmine Sullivan - 2015 BET Awards - Arrivals - Microsoft Theater - Los Angeles, CA, USA - Keywords: full length, singer Orientation: Portrait Face Count: 1 - False - Photo Credit: Aaron J. Thornton / PR Photos - Contact (1-866-551-7827) - Portrait Face Count: 1

Jazzmin Sullivan

Oh look, it’s the angel from hoe-ven! This was an epic fail on all levels. First of all, peplum dresses are for women without hips to give the illusion of hips. Think peplum and think Blake Lively and Giuliana Ranstick – sorry, Rancic. But this one with her massive hips squeezed herself into peplum with her boobs spilling out? Sister, no.

This was one of my worst looks of the night.

27 thoughts on “KD’s Fashion Police: BET Awards 2015

  1. True, some were just epic fails. In fact, my timeline on the day of the awards was filled with comments about the horrible choice of clothes. The only thing that stood out was Tracee’s jumpsuit.

  2. Lol!

    I love Frank – sorry, John Oceans’. You’re amazing, lawv.

    Bet, Jordan is innocent oh. How much is his bail?

  3. I am hardly a fashion person but I think I love what brandy wore.

    I will forgive u for kendrick because u said u are obsessed. He looks like someone who broke out of jail.

  4. Love Zendaya, she can do no wrong, well maybe d hair, i hate short hair, unless youre Halle Berry. Nicki should have word d ither dress for tha red carpet, the white and black dress. And Tracee was hust gorgeous.

  5. Christian Milan looked looked like an apprentice mammy water priestess. Olokun stylist.

    Angela Simmons, olosho sef dey dress pass like this.

    Who’s the wife of Hades in Greek mythology? Kelly Rowland?

    What’s with Ciara and the maid look? You know all these maid you go to abakaliki to hire. Chai.

    I love you Jussie, but that jacket can have inches taken away from it, and would still fit you. I know you’d make up for this on Instagram. I love you none the less. Yours affectionately, your stalker.

    Laverene Cox looks like she’s missing her dick in that pose. What do I know sha.

    Nicki Minaj, looking like meek mill had so fucked her that evening that she can’t stand straight again. That her dress, I can swear, Aba can do better.

  6. Well, I hear Christina Millian now has a reality show. So, I suppose it’s only proper for her to tailor her couture to the trashy image associated with reality stars

  7. So, someone actually sat down and analysed what people wore to one Award ceremony in a faraway country…wonders they say would never end.

    Anyway, since it has been posted here, lemme just say this, Florida is not supposed to be in the ‘Best Dressed’ list. Or is it because he wore pink, that’s why you decided to put him there? ‘Real men wear pink’? WTF is that?

    This looks hurriedly put together. Like you just had to send something in to beat a phantom deadline.
    Anyway, lemme leave this place for those who actually care about fashion to comment.

    • REAL men wear whatever they want to wear in whatever color they want, when they want to wear them without caring whose ox is gored. As u have rightly pointed out, leave the fashion to we who care and keep ur arse loving, shit eating hole quiet. Imagine? Real men don’t wear pink??? Ode!!!

  8. for someone who can’t understand why people analyse what others wore to a ceremony, you ended up doing the same. we have different interests & nobody should feel smug about his own interests.

  9. Is it me or did I just blank out looking at these shildren on the red carpet *well besides Floyd, Riri, Nicole, Jeremih *swoon* Zendaya *borderline ashawo couture*
    As for the rest *in RuPaul’s voice… That’s all
    Sashay Away

  10. Zendaya – Wow
    Rihanna – Different
    Jeremih – Regular
    Nicole Parker, Tracee – Mature
    Machine Gun – Not much difference with Jeremih
    Flo rida – Looks like a skirt suit
    Floyd – Is that a dick straining against the fabric?
    Kendrick – So ‘The Matrix’-ish
    La Verne was ok
    Nicki needed a Witch’s pointy hat to complete her ensemble
    Brandy can do no wrong jare…except the shoes but I think I see ballerina effect???
    Haba, Karaueche was ok na. Hian!!!
    Polar (Bear) Kelly. The ice got to her face but left the rest of her…warm
    The rest tho…nothing spectacular. You were kinda unfair about ur judgement on Jordan and Simmons

  11. For the most part they all dressed well, even the so called WTFs weren’t as catastrophic. Floyd’s is by far my favorite…and Kendrick’s oufit is sooo me!! ..

  12. 1st of all, the BET awards is no longer what it use to be. From the red carpet to the norminations, to the performance, down to the winners sef. Every thing is a snooze fest. So if u are looking for mind blowing fashion Statements/choices then BET awards is the last place to look.

    Zendaya; I love miss coleman’s look. Very playful,nothing over the top,simple but managed to look super sexy. Andthe short. Hair is appropriate4 this dress, a long do would have muddled up her look, and it allowed for Better appreciation that graceful long neck. Short hair to enhance to look and flaunt her neck, short dress to show of those LEGS!!!!!!!

    Rihanna? Lol, My bish hardly disappoints. The girl is a fashion goddess. She makes it look so easy, she some how manages to look flawless without even trying. She could wear a paper bag and still look like a million dollar baby. Still patiently waiting 4 that R8. Everything that has been rolled out so far has been bleh. Bish I got ur money, when u are ready to bring ur tour to this part of the world.

    Nicky Garbage! This girl’s 15 minutes of fame is almost up. She has failed to secure a memorable red carpet moment, I mean with all that blown up doll body, one would expect u to slay efforlessly

    Kendrick; I love kendrick and all, but showing up looking like a jail bird is not cool. I understand he is try to look deep and all that bull. I need him as the old clean-cut-cute-boy-kendrick

    Kelly rowland; john! U will do well to be mindful of how u address my baby mama in the future! I can cut u cos of this chick! She should ve done Away with shawl. I saw a pic of her without it and she look gorgeous. Besides she is one if not the only risk taker on the carpet. Feathered black dress? Yes! An odd but interesting choice

    Machine gun kelly: I don’t know how I feel about that guy talk less of how he looks on the carpet

    Flo rider: that guy should ve been shot right where he stood with that damn mess getup of his

    Mayweather; I quite agree! Surprisingly he looked great. Nice shoes.

    Nicole ari parker: she is one of the best dressed if not the best dressed. Simple classic while that hugged and clung all the right places.

    Tracee elis ross; looked great too in white, another person that brought home the white look 4 was latoya luckett

    Brandy: I actually love brans look. Its very youthful, I would ve gone 4 a nude pumps or black straps like the one lala had on, to give it a dark and edgy feel, or just had the dress in a brighter colour. Bran has been dropped by her label, her songs and album sales has been pitiful 4 years now, so I think her recording career is on hold. She is rumored to appear on empire and has a show in the works with BET.

    LaLa; that girl has good fashion taste. Love the dress, love the shoe even more, but the colour was just too much 4 my eyes.

    Jussie my boy toy smollet: honey we need to get someone to dress u like yesterday! Stop being so cheap.

    Angela simmon: looks fine to me. She has always been thick.

    The carpet was boring, no body takes BET awards seriously anymore. And Bad boy reunion performance was the highlight for me, especially when the original queen bee came out in her signature hardcore squat pose.

  13. John OCEANS I wld jst say u trying to be funny I get…now wat makes a good fashion police is one that can even criticize her/his own person….but I just rememberd this are JUST ur opinions and dey really dnt count….I mean chris brown,and the trash you said abt peplum haven’t you seen queen B and kim k in peplum…and john its plain silly to say that suit is rumple I mean common man the wat u said abt amber rose outfit is just crap…

  14. your use of adjectives like hoe, trashy etc. got old quickly. Maybe more fashion and less moral policing next time? Peak does a way better job btw.

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