For Instance, This…

for instanceThis is a Facebook post someone drew my attention to, and after reading, all I could do was laugh. It is a thing of beauty when one’s hypocrisy is shown up to him, stark and cold. And you have nowhere to run but into your shame.

Read and enjoy.

*

This life!

So I am sitting in Terminal 1 at Frankfurt International Airport, waiting for my flight to Toronto… Been a super long wait… The Lufthansa flight from Lagos arrived three hours ago.

A Nigerian cleric came to sit by me. We somehow started up a conversation stemming from the CNN coverage of the Same Sex marriage Supreme Court ruling in America.

This cleric let out a spite-filled sigh, and began to tell me how the world has come to an end. He said Barack Obama is the Antichrist. He said all gays would burn in hell fire, and even here on earth, they would be stricken down by lightning. He said homosexuality should be punishable by death.

He went on and on.

I listened quietly to him and nodded in agreement. He said this can never happen in Africa and that homosexuality is a foreign disease. That it is the Devil counterfeiting and corrupting the perfect work of God. He said God would have the last laugh. He went on to describe how horribly debased and hateful homosexuals are.

I listened and I listened.

After a while, he complained of hunger and said he had no Euros. We walked to a cafe and I bought him breakfast. We talked about a host of other issues as we ate. Then we took a walk around the terminal as he said he needed to stretch his legs after the long flight.

As we walked, he began to heap praises on me. “You are such an intelligent and well spoken young man… Your grasp of the Bible and theology is very impressive…”

I thanked him.

He continued. “You don’t even know me, yet you have bought me breakfast and you are spending your time with me without any compulsion on my part. God will bless you my son.”

I said, “Thank you, sir.”

He continued. “With people like you, there is hope for Nigeria. Please go into ministry or politics, anything that would give you the chance to serve people and affect their lives for the better.”

I replied, “I will think about it, sir.”

He broke out into a wide smile. “Omo Dada, your parents brought you up well.” Then he looked at my ring finger and saw my ring. “Are you married?”

I said, “No, sir, it is just an ornamental ring.”

He frowned. “You shouldn’t wear it on your wedding finger. And why are you not married? Tall, handsome and intelligent man like you?”

I said, “I have not found the right one, sir.”

He stopped. “Ah, that means you have not been looking. In my church, there are brilliant, beautiful, successful ladies who are desperate for marriage. Some are even willing to pay for a husband.” We both laughed. He continued, “Seriously, give me your number. I will personally find you a beautiful, successful and God-fearing wife.”

And I responded, “Actually, sir, I am a homosexual.”

He stood there looking at me, as though hard of hearing. Eyes open wide, jaw slack, swallowing and swallowing.

After a short while, he asked for the washroom. I pointed it to him. He excused himself, went in there and spent a little shorter than fifteen minutes, after which he came out and walked right by me, his face set in a stony grimace, his eyes avoiding mine, no inkling of recognition on his part. It was like he didn’t know me or I didn’t exist.

I have returned to my seat. And now, all I can do is laugh. How fickle-minded human beings are!

45 thoughts on “For Instance, This…

  1. Oh My Freaking God! Hahaha! Isn’t that something! Immediately the story started going to the part of buying him breakfast, I knew something was going to happen. I still don’t understand why Nigerians are carrying this issue on their head! Even here in the US, den never carry like how Naija people dey carry am.

    I was really surprised when my pastor in church reacted to this issue. His words were ” You people must have heard that the government has allowed two people of the same sex to marry. Please, don’t go out speaking evil and protesting, calling them names or fighting. Just pray and if given the opportunity, preach to them. If you go bad mouthing in your place of work and you get fired, don’t come here and tell me you are being persecuted because your foolishness cost you your job”. I was really surprised.

  2. I can only imagine what the cleric must have felt like. A roach, pond scum or better still, a blustering idiot!

    And Nigerians had better mind their business and find ways to help develop the country.

    • That is what I say every time! This is a country you people sleep, fast and pray to go to because their system is good yet, you stay in your corrupt, unlit houses, plagued with bad roads and horrible leaders talking about “Tufiakwa”. With all your morality, why is your country still in a mess? For God’s sake, you guys don’t even have 24 hours power supply which is like the basic utility for any country! I visited LIB yesterday and after reading some comments, I just lost hope. Nigerians are really hypocrites and I love how the USA is forcing those leaving here to swallow their own hate because almost every establishment has a gay person who may be a manager, supervisor or co-worker and God help if you say “pim” against them. Your job don go be that.

      • @ Ace, leave Nigerians to rot in their myopic idiocy. After all their bad mouthing of the U.S.A, you’ll still see them by 7am at the U.S embassy in well ironed shirts praying and fighting for visas. Talk about twisted!

        And my room mate is about to get on my nerves this morning. Imagine a fool who can’t even speak English properly calling homosexuals “biologically deranged”. People be looking for easy ways to die.

      • Yeah, it’s really commendable that someone with slime for brains would go feeding on a putrid mash of faeces to gain knowledge. Very, very commendable!

  3. You can imagine! After praising the guy to high heavens, his perpective changed because he was told the guy was gay. The question here should be, what went wrong? I am sure the Pastor went to the restroom to vomit the food he had eaten. This is quite funny in a very annoying way.

  4. Wait!

    In the restroom for 15mins?

    *He went to wash away the time spent with d sinner?

    *Or throw up d food of d sinner?

    *Or punish himself for rolling with the gentiles?

    You just got contaminated Minister! Get ready to be gay!

    Iberibe @ its peak!!!!

    His/Your son might be gay!

    Ewu Gambia! Aturu ugwu! Ezii Panyaa!

  5. Lol. This guy deserves an Oscar. Wow! That was interesting and fucking hilarious. So the pastor is a pimp. Pimping his church girls who can buy marriage to the highest bidder. Tufia.

  6. Nigerians are hypocrites,they bring religion into everything. If we are to follow everything stated in the bible “nobody would be able to survive in this cruel world”.btw the so called pastors preaching against homosexuality in Nigeria embezzle church funds, have sex with their members, lie about seeing visions, collect money from dirty politicians.when i see comments on lib all i do is smh.

  7. Hahahahahahahaha I guess d cleric went into d bathroom and threw up all d food d homosexual bought for him.
    Good one!

  8. I read this on facebook and laughed so hard my sides hurt. The church next to my house spent the whole service praying for america that has lost its soul!

    I just laughed and told the boo that the only thing the UK and the US needs to do is to begin to ask visa applicants from Nigeria “What are your thoughts on gay rights and marriage equality” and you will see how fast their mouths change! People will even invent gay brothers and sisters whom they absolutely love.

    Leave Nigerians, I know them finish!

    • Biko Shift!

      Shift ka m fu uzo!

      Oha na eze leeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

      Dennis just subtly told us that he has a new boo nd nobody noticed! Seriously! Nobody!

      Even u Mitch! E n’achi kwakwakwa! E furo ya! I taught u better! E kuziri m gi ofuma!

      Except my eyes r deceiving me, Dee boo boo, we need a heads up in ur next rant oh! We wouldn’t want to b floating on our blog boo naa. Ka anyi dabanye a banye!

      • KryxxX, okwa ezi okwu. Imana I did not even notice. Kita ka my brain just code the kain thing.

        Bia Dennis nwa Macaulay, you have a lot of explaining to do. O baro uru for you to try swerve this one oh. Explain and kowatiate yaself wella oh!

  9. This is a beautiful piece!! If anyone doubted the depths of cruelty and hatred that Nigerians are capable of towards gays, am sure the kast few days have cleared your doubts, and you now realise that even 150yrs from now, the hate and cruelty will still be strong. Homophobia is fused and welded tightly onto Nigerians DNA, i honestly dont know how that can change. Nevertheless, it gives me tons of joy to know that each time one of these hypocrites goes to the US Embassy to desperately beg for a US visa, a small part of him/her dies inside knowing that they are attempting to set foot in land that embraces gays. If Nigerians were as honorable as they make out to be, they should immediately cut off all contact with the country and/or pack abd get out of the country for those who already live there, and yes Dennis, the US Embassy should start asking those questions during visa interviews, you’ll see the shameless hypocrisy and desperation of Nigerians laid bare before the world.

  10. “Fickle humans”
    Those words cannot be over emphasized enough.
    Great read! By far the best post today.
    **roll eyes**

  11. Khaleesi is very right.
    Nigeria and her People will never accept that we are here to stay.

    I just watched a LIVE program on National Television were We, homosexuals were bashed.
    Oh, and they allowed phone calls from patriots who turned to religion and the Bible as the foundations for their condemnation.

    How is it that we Nigerians are assholes?!
    I can’t begin to fathom the depth of depravity and decadence an average mind without knowledge is at.

    Is this what we’ve be reduced to?
    Demons?
    Demonic Patriots?
    Mentally unstable beings?!
    Out to destroy the sanctity of pure heterosexual minds?!

    This is some fucked-up country.

    • I recognize the right of those who chose to be pessimistic about Nigeria evolving from its present state where many are still homophobic but I for once has seen changes and it will continue. Some years back elected officials of the church of Nigeria are made to declare publicly that they are not homosexuals during swearing in but the church has dropped that. I told the story of a guest speaker on father’s day who was condemning gays. One thing I forgot to say was that the Vicar of the church directed that he should end his message. I think these are good signs and it can only get better.

      • “…..,the Vicar of the church directed that he should endhis message….”
        I like to know what the Vicar’s liver is made of. I call that a progress.

      • Sure it is. I believe what we all need is enlightenment . You guys can check out channels tv news on the hour. A Nigerian cleric abroad was interviewed. There is a lot of hope in his words. I know it will get better by the day but it begins with us in little measures. Look inwards, what do you feel about that guy from a different tribe or religion?

      • Gad, I detest pessimism. I really do.
        But today, these Four homophobes wrecked my last bar of optimism.

        Yes, the miracle might happen someday… But until then…

  12. WOW. Just WOW!

    Wonderful story… I believe we can all clean up our acts and be great successful intelligent respectful and humble individuals… we can show some homophobes that they are just ignorant and dumb!

    #Iranu

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