Someone is giving Pat Robertson a run for his money.
Mücahid Cihad Han (pictured above) is a popular Muslim televangelist from Turkey. He recently warned followers that men who masturbate will be greeted by their “pregnant hand in the afterlife.”
The statement came at a Q&A session during Sunday’s taping, when one of Han’s viewers asked the preacher about masturbation.
The man claimed he was addicted to pleasuring himself, saying he “kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah,” the holy pilgrimage to Mecca performed by Muslims.
Han, who once called homosexuality “evil” and “the worst of all sins,” scolded the man, telling him that Islam strictly forbids masturbation.
“One hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife,” he cautioned.
The televangelist continued: “If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now? … Resist Satan’s temptations!”
Unfortunately, rather than offering clarity, the statement only created more confusion, as the Internet was soon abuzz with follow-up questions, including: Are there gynecologists in the afterlife? Is abortion allowed there? What about adoption? But, perhaps most importantly, how exactly will the hand give birth?
*shaking my head* Chai! How do all these kinds of people exist? How, dear God, did You create some people and close their skulls, forgetting to insert their brains before completing their creation, hmm?
LOL.
Why does anyone listen to these sick people??
If they are dumb enough to exist, then there are others dumb enough to listen and believe them. Sad, really.
Yeah
I swear down
And I will have a million children in the afterlife.
Chimo! If na so, that’s my hand and that of Pinky’s will be having multiple twins every minute when we cross over. So those that blow off ppl till they cum, might probably have a pregnant mouth in the after life… Kam nukwa!
Ur hand and dat of PINKY keh? Hian! Na team-work? Both of u should throw more light pls…
@Topic: lol…I don’t remember every cumming on/in my hands sha (I suppose it’s contact with semen that makes the hand…conceive?); I try to be a very tidy and organised wanker; no unnecessary leakages or spills anywhere…hehehe. That televangelist is crazy tho! Are there ovaries in my palms? I can’t!
Where do you cum in – a kidney dish?
#AskingForTheLord
@Absie: hehehe…I have a technique…
But wait o,do ppl really cum INSIDE their hands? Like literally? Really? How, like wank with one hand and use ther other as a receptacle to collect d spillage? Cos there’s no way u can cum into the palm that is holding ur shaft, right? Maybe I need to review my wanking etiquette,lol.
Nah. It spills over the fingers…you know, like some bridal bouquets. 😉
Max’s hands will have 10 sets of quadruplets lol
Thats per week ☺☺
Chai
Like seriously, how dumb can people get, religiosity is the new kind of organized and hallowed foolishness. “the worst of all sins” my flat behind. Mtcheww.
I am a safe sex advocate even when I have intercourse with my hand.
So inshallah there will be no unwanted pregnancies for me in the afterlife.
U use gloves??? You 4 don wank ur D raw sha…lol
Condoms dear, condoms😉
You wank with condoms? *making a face*
Either that or shoot away from my hand. How else can I prevent getting my hand pregnant in the afterlife?😳😳
Huh? Do you empty the contents of the rubber in your mouth when you’re done? Is that why you want no spillages?
Sometimes yes. Depending on my mood and what I ate the day before.😉
*dead*
*Na you ask question*
Tufiakwa! Absie and Keredim! There is no hope for you
DM, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. It’s rich in protein.😏
Akuko n’egwu… Stop deluding yourself imam… There’s no afterlife!
When you die, you die… And vanish..
This promise of afterlife is what’s causing a lot of chaos in the world today.
saddest part will be people believing this crap
I guess the afterlife won’t recognise that I am still a virgin…hmmmm….so I’d be a pregnant virgin? What’s the use then?
So you shall have sex then, yea? *slowly widening grin*
Nah. It’s in case one of Muhammed’s 77 virgins doesn’t make it to heaven, Sinnex can fill in as substitute. After all, hole na hole!
Sinnex,it’s not u who would be pregnant,but ur right hand…or left hand,as d case may be. Ur hand will come and meet u(as a seperate entity), swollen with the seed of ur inflammed self-lust…in d afterlife.lol
Hahahahahahahaa! Chai chestnut.
I’m sure this man thinks his entire congregation don’t think. That’s why he feel he can say anything that comes to his mind
Some people’s words are so full of shit I’m not sure if they need tissue paper or sanitizers.
Chai!!! Make I nor fuck… make I nor whank too??? Ahn Ahn…
Mtshewwwwwww whatever, back to what I was abt starting *masturbate* befor seeing dis, PP remind me whr I kept my vasline…. again.
Someone’s pregnant hand is uploading in hell fire.
loool … such pathetic foolishness, such a waste of valuable space and oxygen and an unnecessary drain on the world’s scarce reserves of food and water! ***flicks manicured hands in disdain and sashays away****
Somepple just need the publicity mtchewwwww duhhhh
Oh hun… Time to continue massaging my tummy with sperms…!!
That’s when the pregnancy will be made main; it’s the tummy that should be pregnant.
I guess I would be the new Abraham there cos I masturbate like everyday. Minimum of 9 times a week. *Don’t judge me though* *Red yeast coffee please?*