Let’s Discuss . . . About Sex

Blog_Let's DiscussSo this KDian (a friend of mine who we shall call Fred) identifies as a Bottom in the bedroom. And recently, he’s being getting acquainted with someone. Fred lives in Calabar, and this potential hookup of his (named Iyke) lives in Enugu. They haven’t met, their flirtationship has been via BBM and Whatsapp. And even though work has made it often possible for Fred to travel to Enugu, he hasn’t made any concerted effort to see Iyke, in spite of admitting to an attraction for him.

So when I asked him what the problem was, he deadpanned: “He has a big dick and expects to fuck me for 45 minutes.”

I thought he was kidding; then he explained in detail. Apparently, during the progress of them getting to know each other, they talked about sex and their expectations. In between the swapping of dick-and-ass pictures, Iyke let on to Fred that he loves prolonged sex. According to him, he won’t stop banging away at an ass until at least forty-five minutes is past. This admission was very much to Fred’s displeasure, who quipped to me: “What does he think I have behind, a vagina? It’s an ass, and there’s only so much pounding I can take before it turns from pleasure to chore.”

Below is part of the chatversation that took place between the two may-never-be lovers.IMG_20150508_072051IMG_20150508_072101IMG_20150508_072109IMG_20150508_072116

And on and on they went. Thing is, Iyke wants to fuck Fred, and Fred finds Iyke intriguing. But the issue of how long Iyke should last inside Fred has put any progress into the bedroom in limbo.

Whilst they sort themselves out, I’ve brought this to the house for us to talk about. The expectations of a Top and a Bottom in the bedroom… The compromises, if any, that should be met… What is obtainable once the clothes are off and the heat is on… All these and many more are the reasons why I’m saying, let’s discuss about sex.

85 thoughts on “Let’s Discuss . . . About Sex

  1. well I can go for 45 mins too bt doesn’t mean I must..I jst dnt cum early naturally bt once I see d other person is exhausted I stop. u av to b considerate. dt guy is funny and selfish. he evn wants it to be tight. lol

  2. Well,the Iyke guy is being a nodcock,to say the least.Whoever heard of sex being enjoyable by how long it last?.And to call Fred lazy?.Talk of being a first-class idiot

  3. Lol.

    The selfish nanny goat. Pounding a man’s ass for half the duration of a football match? Hian.

    What are the qualities or what does it take to the be a ‘Power Bottom’ again sef?

  4. “So when I asked him what the problem was, he deadpanned: “He has a big dick and expects to fuck me for 45 minutes.”


    Does he want to answer his chi by dying on top of you?!

    Espeakelekwe maka confuse!

    Some ppl have no chill biko!


    That’s pure evil and wickedness in d highest places nd order!

    Lets even leave the time aside self, d size now matters! If it is small, I can understand but not this ototo amu(big d) that is like a baby’s arm! Who does he want to kill!

    Sister, tell him that he didn’t see u! Ofuru gi cha cha! Nkita onwu na akpo, onaghi ekwe ya nu isi nsi!

  5. The average sex session for me lasts between 5 and 7 minutes…..anything above that and it becomes boring….even if I’m sucking you off, you better burst that nut within 5 minutes or else, you’re on your own. I love sex but I easily get bored of anything.

  6. Lmao. This is actually a real issue guys.
    I have this friend with a thick curved 9 incher. We tried hooking up 3 times before deciding to be just friends.
    Mehn, it wasn’t funny. Penetration alone is a chore, then he can last, and last, and last. A real stallion.
    I fantasize about him and other giant penises sometimes, and riding them for hours on end, but in reality, I know what I can handle, and a NEPA pole pounding me for 45 minutes isn’t what I can handle.
    I’d like to be able to handle it someday sha…. 🙈🙈🙈

  7. And I thought this discussion was about Sex…..what’s up with some people here insulting the guy who wants to fuck for long? Or do you guys have a natural tendency just to bitch about and throw insult to anything read on here? If he loves prolonged sex, it’s his personal wahala. he will still get a bottom or versatile who loves it that way too. So chillax people. smh

  8. I honestly do not like the perception that sex is only achieved through active penetration.

    What if two bottoms or tops meet each other, and really like each other? They can’t have a pleasurable time together?

    You mustn’t get penetrated to get romantically, and passionately pleasured.

    And I believe sex to a two-way thing. It shouldn’t be about one person. What’s pleasurable when you see that your partner is writhing in pains? Study their body languages. Know what they want.

    Sex shouldn’t be mechanical.

  9. Ehen!

    My mind haff cool now. Had to get that off my chest. Can’t deal with that 45min dredging of d lower Niger on one’s or my ass.

    On the expectations in d bedroom, it varies from person to person. I think it should be based solely on communication which can then b followed by compromise when needed. Knowing what your lover wants nd how they want it. The extent you can go nd when you have to stop. Just like a safe word in an S&M relationship. But unlike that, when they r no words u’d have to b sensitive. Sex isn’t punishment but a pleasurable stuff that should b enjoyed by both parties.

    And pls, do not b deceived by pornstars! The pain killers that has gone into that ass is enough to knock out a baby rhino! And my sisters that wants to b dredged for hours, everybody is not Diesel Washington or Lex Steele!

  10. I’m spontaneous, I don’t discuss sex before having it.. .that whole “how long can you go” question is just weird, are we discussing a business deal??? Or nah contract???. Why can’t people just get in bed and have a good time, let things flow an the see where it takes you. And also be sensitive enough to know the boundaries of pleasure and pain or punishment on both sides of the action. We tend to over flog things till they become an issue. Personally anyone that brings up that kinda convo is already a failed candidate.

    • I understand the whole spontaenity and trying out new things and stuff, but not discussing sex in a clinical way mind u, is like getting me to scream ‘OUCH!’ with every thrust. You can’t av a good time where one partner is fucked so good, he cums in secs or where the dick so bad he is wincing or grimacing like its by force

      • I get you, but must everything be seen through to penetration?, you have fun and if it gets to penetration and things don’t work out, there are other ways to get off. Unless you see penetration as some kinda trophy winning exercises she.

      • I don’t see it as a trophy but biko, whats sex without the penetration.and cuddling for afters??? Do u have any idea what havinf a warm throbbing shaft slide up ur rectum feels like…even if it doesn’t move? Oh Lawd!!!

    • Mercury, I think i can now go to bed after reading your comment. When people ask me “what are we going to do in bed?” It just ticks me off. How about we don’t think too much about it and get down. I am a great lover of spontaneity and now I think about it, the best experiences I have had are the ones that bull-eyed quickly. Don’t over think it, do what you can and leave the rest for Remy Mars.

  11. 45 minutes = no sex for 1 month thereafter + baby food diet (literally). Lol. Some tops need to bottom once to understand what’s up.

    Blow jobs are tedious enough not to talk of Anal Sex that’s why I prefer dudes that can finish the business in 10 mins max

  12. So,here’s my take: good sex either happens naturally(if u’re lucky enough to find someone u’re sexually compatible with), Or, you both have to work at it. In d latter case, both parties just have to be willing to make some compromises (if they think they really like each other enough not to allow sex be a deal-breaker). You partner may not like everything u like,and vice versa, so u gotta find out what he likes; if it’s not toooo extreme for u,u give it to him. Personally,I don’t think there’s anything u can’t master with time -and a good shower-( except fisting…Hey Regal,how u doin’?hehe…),especially if u really like d person. U just gotta be willing and patient enough to learn what can make u both happy in bed. Sometimes,it really can all be “in the mind”.

    • No amount of shower or “cleansing” can make me give or even recieve rimming. Yuck! Utter disgust. Other than that and maybe fisting or whatever Yall call it these days.. I’m down for anything baby!

      **walks away jiggling my fat & soft cakes**
      #AdvertMode #MarketingMode

      • 😂😂 I’m done for rim jobs as long as the necessary clean up is done prior to the encounter. I still remember when my ex resorted to it one night as there was no lube. One of my best sexual encounters ever. It remains one of the very few times I’ve experienced zero pain during penetration

      • @Pinky, maybe there’s a reason he wouldn’t allow anyone’s head down there..
        And about your ex- Now I know the reason for your constant… *insert zipped mouth smiley here**

      • I understand it is your preference and all but oh my… The plenty nail marks on the back and walls that have been exchanged in the act of rimming is passing you by. You may want to sample a cleanly administered one.

      • Max get over yourself already.. Illd assume that your Ass is the cleanest in the world with not a single bacteria in it.. It smells nice like a lily flower and its the best looking site in the world Init?
        Take several back seats abeg.. I’m in a good place today and I don’t want no devil in my bidness.
        That said..
        I’m patiently waiting for “Our dear Aunty Virginity’s” take on this post and topic today! 😂😂😂😂

  13. I’ve done an hour plus.. It all depends on the person., whether they’re comfortable or not.. Sex is something that should be enjoyed by both parties, if not its just one person catering to another’s needs.
    I think Fred should do a rain check..

  14. I kent. I just kent. Sex for 45 mins? Abeg carry your preeq and swerve.
    The thought of penetration alone is enough to dissuade me from doing anything and you want to plough me for 45 minutes like I am a mutant with some secret anal power. Gbafuo biko!! I no do!
    I’d rather we kiss and make out and everyone returns to their father’s that. Aint nobody got time for that.

  15. This shii is a serious matter. Its kinda worse for me because it affects me when the Top doesn’t cum b4 or when I have. I start to ask myself questions.
    “Why are you this selfish? You could have bent a little more to the side for him. What’s a little pain?” OR “Guy, rest. Do you think he was into you in the 1st place? He just wanted to stick it in a hole” OR I start to tell myself I am indeed less than a man to not match his time OR wonder where he gets his brand of testosterone OR wonder if its cos of all the alcohol he’s drinking (which I hate btw) OR wonder if my walls are getting loose and I aint tight no more (resulting in dick fasting and diets)…and then the dude has to wank his cum out…everything feels awkward after. Y’ALL BETTER ANSWER SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO WAVE O *insert angry smiley here*

    • @tryst_hamlover you need to ask him what makes him cum. Like my ex that takes forever and doesn’t cum unless anal penetration or tonsil shattering blow job is involved

      • I ask oo. My brother, I kuku ask. Hian!!! Not giving ads, but I think I give mean heads (which don’t work on me likewise rim jobs). They r ready to drop in 3mins. But anal sex…they just want to go on and on and on like its a Federal Govt project

      • errr…Francis, I’m at an unfair disadvantage. I know knowing my twitter handle isn’t exactly rocket science, but how come we haven’t corresponded…at least once? Or have we?

      • @tryst_hamlover I found this blog via your twitter handle while searching for wanking pics. Lol

    • Hahahahaha.. It’s not you honey, it’s them.
      I personally don’t cum quickly, do always expect a long and draining make out session/sex from me.
      Dont let people make you feel inadequate or insecure..

      • You are one of the problems I’m facing in my matrimonial home. Hian!!! Now we see where u expend all ur holiness. Extended Prayer Time

  16. First, some people tend to exaggerate sexual prowess online so don’t think too much about it. But if he actually can go 45 minutes then nna, you have to remind him that it is ASS and you guys may have to reach a compromise. Have an intense foreplay! Foreplay is the ultimate soul catcher for me. I might not be really into you but if we progress smoothly during foreplay, Oga m you are the real MVP.
    Finally, like Mercury said earlier, no dey over think sex. Do you, have fun, follow no rules and enjoy to your limit.

  17. What happens when you are hornier than Delilah for Samson’s cock, but your partner don’t want it at the moment, maybe he’s had a long day. But you just want some fuck, not some cuddling at the moment. But you love him, sleeping out is outta question. And you are tired of wanking, and you can feel it at the tip of your prepuce.

  18. What’s there to compromise ? Lazy bottoms should meet lazy tops. Theoretical bottoms should meet theoretical tops. 2 minute bottoms should meet 2 minute tops. And power bottoms should meet power tops. Thats the purpose of chatting 1st, to reduce the risks of 2 incompatible ppl meeting .

  19. Lol@You are just being lazy

    Some people are funny. If you don’t cum in 5 minutes, you are on your own, and that’s just for bj oooo. I really don’t think there is a relationship between the length of time spent while screwing and the pleasure one derives from it.

    I have come to the realization that fantasy is totally different from reality. In my head, I want to suck a big black dick and the rest, but in reality, i just don’t feel it.

    Some guys are trying ooooo

    • I completely relate. Reality and fantasy are completely different.
      Giant tools are fun to look at and fantasize about, but actually dealing with one can be tasking.

    • I beg to differ o. How do u explain wanking? There is a relationship between time and pleasure. If you didn’t enjoy wanking, you’d jist keep at it until u rubbed d dick raw in one session.

  20. Lmaoo i shake yansh for some people.Like seriously 45min wtf! Shey na doll baby u dey fuck ni?even most girls pussay wont take that talkless of an azz.So boring how can u just be pounding at a hole continously for dat long not to talk of d mess dat will be created advise for d btms in here dont ever let any selfish prick cox u into such nonsense if at d end of d day some sort of injury occurs trust me most of dem wont be ready to even give u money to take kear of urself some dat manage to sef wont give u enof,cos to me its stupid for him to damage ur bussy and u still pay to take kear of urself even if u can afford it.And frm pscychology honestly alot of times d guy will later have a bad impression bout u and even gossip about u with his frnds who will now term u borehole!lmaoooo i know dis cos me and my frnds do this. Yes we do judge and laff over dis kind of escapades when d cliq is complete.

  21. 45mins to fuck excluding make out session and it’s not a flip flop. Are we trying to do all the styles in the karma sutra? It’s now even a big dick. I’d get bored.. Sorry.
    I however wouldn’t mind if the person has adequate skills to keep me into it for that long. 45mins constant pleasure nd then some? Yes please!!

  22. I believe dat sex is enjoyable when both parties are into each other and not d duration of the sex! I for one easily get tired of sex. but then for someone to be pouncing on me for about 45mins its a NO NO and I can’t even try it.. if he insist I push him off me and he should use his hand to help him self.

  23. I refuse to believe the views on this topic represent the quality of Nigerian bottoms. Maybe it’s just a skewed subset of very lazy ones. Cos I’ve met better people in real life. These KD commenting bottoms are exactly the type that piss a real top off.

    • Lmaooooo my broda when u have succesfully practised being fucked for 45min as a research and handled it like a ninja den u have a right to say such.I bet u are a nigerian or u are strictly super top who cant submit to anoda mans pounding?lol what a joke saying that “kd btms are d ones dat piss real top off” can u allow it for urself?lets not be selfish how can u pound a fellow guy for 45min!well for me i can never ever allow such well except na Dangote wan pound me and having made a contract as per terms of reward if not no man is worth it carry ur honey/gold laced prick far far away from me

  24. Which one be ‘Real’ Tops and ‘Fake’ Tops….’Real’ Bottoms and ‘Fake’ Bottoms,,,,na wa oooo!

  25. Well… We can go on 4 ages if the flow is right.
    Personally I’ve gone 2hrs plus with Bae *it may sound unrealistic but its a true story n its one of those sessions we constantly reference and laff about*
    There are days wen the sex isn’t so great but who cares *we always have better ones to wash away the bad ones*
    That said, its all about the way you guys begin ur makeout session. If the top knows his onions, he should be able to foreplay the bottom to the point of ecstacy and most likely make him beg to be penetrated *yeah I know it may sound degrading to the bottoms but then again, its different strokes for different folks*
    Peace *gotta go get my Groove on*

      • @Posh6666
        As sweet or tempting as it sounds…
        Sweetie Мy Bujayjay aint for foreign porn.
        Like I said, its all about your connection with your partner.
        He take you there and do you well, Gurrl take it n drop it like its hot from Abeokuta to Ajaokuta

    • Btw size is also a major Player.
      Here’s my Categorization
      Medium- average: 30mins n above
      Average- above average: 1-2 hrs n counting
      Monster cocks: Beyond 25mins is a miracle
      So do the maths yourself and choose what works best for you

  26. Awwwww Posh6666 darling…
    I’m honoured that you would consider me for such a vital position.
    I’d try to live up to your expectation and help you be your best between the sheets.
    As well as outside the bedroom

  27. Can’t seem to get over the fact that your friend has not only let you but more or less the entire world now know intimate and explicit details on the bedroom antics of a guy he hasn’t even met yet. Someone has profuse diarrhoea of the mouth. And then sex chatting…I’d rather we not talk so much abt it till we are in btwn the sheets, that way expectations aren’t high and ppl aren’t let down. Sex depends to a large extent on the level of attraction btwn both persons. I might not ideally like to be pounded for 45mins by a colossal penis but might oblige someone who I really find immensely attractive.

    Now your friend is worked up over nothing and has spurred an unnecessary conversation

  28. Sex is about mutual pleasure and compromise
    No one wants to have to be a victim of a boring sex. Especially one borne out of selfishness.
    Tops should learn a great deal how to go mutually wit a bottom. Bottoming ain’t easy especially since there ain’t any natural lub in the ass.

  29. Ok,first of all, it’s an ass,not a vagina ooo,I top and sometimes I ask myself how do bottoms do it? Going long sometimes I begin to feel the bottom is in pain so once he cums n i haven’t, I withdraw n wank. Like I consider too,am an 8incher n curved n i don’t cum fast but I have my ways jor. 45 minutes is just wicked ni. I have lots of female friends who complained bout prolonged sex with big dicks and this na toto o. Abeg the guy should try and bottom small and see how far biko. And for crying out loud when did sex become a full time exercise to lose weight, hian..

  30. I’ve had issues with many guys on this sex matter, to start with, in my opinionated mind I can never be with someone who is strictly one thing, top or bottom, variety they say is the spice of life.
    On another end, I don’t fancy anal sex at all, the idea of enduring pain for some asshole’s satisfaction just does not go well with me. It’s all fantasy and I decided that I can’t afford to play it out, at least for now unless of course I meet someone who enjoys the pain, then I can be a willing accomplice. But the other way round? Hell no!
    I’m up for frolicking or a hot romp, but anal, can’t me out

  31. Well since he said 45 mins, I cn gv him that. And we all know kw that sex comprises of kissing, romancing and penetration.so we kiss for 25 min, romance for 15 min then he fucks for 5 min. Pls sum it up, church agbasaa

  32. FIRST time commenter here (been reading for about a year though) ermmm, for me it’s. CHOICE!!!! Our biology ain’t as similar as we presume, I think peeps especially the bottom folk should take just as much time as they can and please ask the top to stop, health ain’t no joke brothers! Tops, “we gatz consider mehnn” a bj or wank can do the rest.

  33. When the thick big, una go talk, when he small una go still talk. When he cums in tym, una go call am woman, when he no cum quick una go call am devil.

    Bottoms are complicated creatures.

    When i was still coming into my sexuality i use to be shy of having sex or showing off my dick or have sex with gays, lol i happen to have witnessed the way gays objectify sex n criticized their mate, so sex with a gay dude was no no especially btms. Point bottoms are one sluty insatisfiable bunch.

    N sisters my dick was n is no way small, it was more or less a thing of, if they make the men look like boys in bed, what about me who is a boy, how would they make me look in bed, so i decided too save the mystery and kip’em drolling while fucking the straight bunch, mostly bi’s.

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