Blog_James' JournalMay 15

Growing up, I think sex was one of the few uncomplicated things I knew. You were Top, Bottom, or Versatile. It really didn’t matter what you liked because it was all fun for the two parties involved, and if done right, both parties would go home quite content and happy with an afterglow. I bottomed quite happily for people because it was fun. I asked a few times if I could top (disrespectful child), and I was refused. Even by the so-called Versatiles. But oh well… I was a young one and they might have felt uncomfortable or something. I however patiently waited for my university days when, at least, I’d find even some of my age mates that we’d get to flip flop and stuff.

University has however shown me that many more unimportant things have come into defining sexual roles, making things unnecessarily complicated. I can’t even state my role comfortably without being told I should be Bottom and not Versatile. It was just some dude I met and maybe, because I wasn’t edgy or hard enough, he thought it meant I should only get it up the ass. I just smiled sheepishly at that. By the time I’m done dealing with him…

Nowadays, I don’t squabble over whether I’m Versatile or a ‘boy’ or a ‘girl’, thanks to my role. What’s the point? I know my truth and arguing about it only makes it look like I have my doubts. If you’re Bottom and think I’m a closet Bottom because I don’t look like I’d pound the shit (metaphorically speaking) out of you, good for you. The wonders I’d have done to your body with my mouth, tongue, hands and D, you will never know.

I also take your word for it concerning whatever role you tell me you play. I really couldn’t care, as long as I’m attracted to you. If you are Bottom but curious as to what it’s like to Top, and I’m attracted to you that way, then I’d let you have a go.

However if you tell me you’re Top and I feel like I don’t want to be the only one bending over, I’d let you know. I’ve been surprised too many times to think that even some “Tops” won’t take D. You just need to be able to persuade them. Or make them want it. Sometimes it’s even enough to just ask.


Last weekend was quite hectic. I moved from my previous hostel to a new one. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to stay in a place for too long. Even when I’m home, I rarely sleep in a particular room. I’d move from the empty visitors’ room to the living room, and if either of my parents travel, I’d take their place on their bed. I wonder why I’m like that.

I had help from my friends moving. I also made a new friend who dressed me up moderately and we took pictures and I looked quite good, if I may say so myself. The issue with me dressing up however is that I get self-conscious. I wonder if I look like I’m trying too hard and why I’m even trying. Please gimme my shorts and loose fitting top and flip flops and I’m good to go. I was even going to commit a fashion blunder and wear Native to a club party thingy… Why? Because the Native clothes I had were nice and comfortable. I wouldn’t sweat too much and they’d keep me warm if I wasn’t dancing and the air conditioner was on. I guess I just pick comfort over class. That’s why I need fashion-forward people around before I embarrass myself.


Anyway, a friend from Lagos came to town. I met him when I was doing my IT in Lekki. We hung out with another friend of his at a hotel and it was nice just spending time with him.

The next morning, I received a call from my friend – a fag hag (and I say this in the fondest way possible). Her name is Laide. I told her I was gay my first year in university, and she was very cool with it. In fact she always laments about the inability of gay people to be themselves even in the face of someone who is accepting of them. Not once or twice have my friends decided not to come over to my house because she’s there and they don’t want her to associate them with being gay (and a few of them are flaming for Africa…I wonder who they are deceiving).

One time, while she was waiting for me at an eatery with another friend of mine, they got talking and he said how much he loved and wanted kids. She told me that it was then she realised how much trouble Nigerian girls are in, with this inability of gay people to express themselves. She pointed out rightly that someone like my friend would get an unsuspecting girl pregnant and then take the child from her and ruin her market value, especially if he doesn’t marry her. Worse, if he married her because the girl would probably die inside when she realises she’s with a man who is into other men. I told her that these females in trouble also have a part to play especially if they are homophobic.

But really though, it’s funny and frustrating how people can be so scared of themselves and have internalized homophobia (that word is so cliché right now) that even in the face of acceptance, they run and hide. Here’s someone who says “I won’t judge you one bit and I love gay guys because they are fun to be with”, and you refuse to let her know due to paranoia.

I introduced her to somewhere I go to eat and immediately she stepped into the place, her gaydar kicked in. (By the way, her gaydar didn’t pick me up as gay till I told her… Lol) And she asked me, when we went outside to buy some things, if that was like some breeding ground for gay people. I laughed so hard because my friend who was there is always feeling like he’s got his sexuality under wraps. I’ve told him to stop deceiving himself and just try to live his life to the fullest, but you can take a horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink. Anyone with half an eye can tell you’re gay, even when you’re forming ‘mando’. Abegi! Life is too short.

When I came out to her, I was worried she’d blab. Just a bit worried. She did tell her boyfriend-now-ex, because he was worried about how close the two of us became, but I warned her never to do it again, and to the best of my knowledge, she hasn’t. And I have to say, telling her is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. No regrets. So far so good.

Funniest part is that we are both Aquarius and we both think almost the same way. Many a time, we have found out we are thinking about the same person at the same time without even having seen the person quite recently. It’s fucking weird. We are also both psychotic lovers, but she’s worse. I think it’s hormonal. Females are trying sef.

Anyway, she called me to tell me a car she’d been saving up to buy had finally arrived. A mini Cooper. Cute. It was manual and she said she didn’t know how to drive, but she needed moral support and wanted me to come along with her to buy fuel. The car had tinted windows, was still right-hand but already had a Nigerian plate number and her driver’s license had expired. Silly me still followed her like mumu, because she has a way of making me do things she wants and it usually involves pestering the fuck out of me. It was a very amusing and frustrating trip. It took about thirty minutes to figure out how to turn it on. We had to use Google. The rest was just trial-and-error, and the car kept stopping, and I kept shouting “I’m not ready to die!”, and we both just got so fucking frustrated. Even the car sef got frustrated and refused to start. Policemen stopped us, and we had to call some big man she knows and he gave the policemen fuel because he owns a filling station (the things you can get away with if you are cozy with people in power). In the end, we had to hire a random person to drive us back to campus and the person, though he knew how to drive a manual car, wasn’t used to maneuvering a right hand vehicle and almost kept moving towards a ditch, and we kept shouting at him, and my screams of “I don’t want to die!” returned. I was quite frankly glad to get out of the car and go to my new comfortable self-contained apartment.


As the week progressed, I called my mum and she was asking me when next I’d be coming home. I told her I didn’t know. She then told me she wanted me to have a small deliverance session with the pastor dude that gave me the starvation – sorry, fasting regimen. I told her I’d heard her.

Please, is there a polite way of being able to go home and refusing to go through this stress?

I feel drained enough as it is, and now she’s adding deliverance. She thinks the prayers are working, but I’m still as gay as fucking ever. My short term solution is to put off going home for as long as I can, but I really do like to go home as often as possible. It’s just frustrating. Maybe I should just indulge her again. It sucks to say, but I am sort of tied, because I am still dependent on her and my dad, and this is why I can’t ever fully go against their wishes. I hope my psyche can hold up with all of this.


Put a group of people together, isolated from the rest of the world even, and a caste system would still form. It’s natural. It can’t be helped. Some people are naturally born leaders. Others look up to them. Their word becomes law. These natural leaders lead, whether they even want to or not.

Then there are others who learn to be leaders or who acquire a high position of authority. Could be by their wisdom or amassed wealth. Basically these people have something the general public doesn’t have, and they look up to them.

And then there are those who believe that they have a right to rule simply because they know better. These kinds of people are dangerous. They are the dictators and oppressors. They want to tell you how to think, ignoring the fact that people come from all walks of life.

Then there are the followers. Some kiss ass and will do anything to get to the leaders’ good books. Some simply look up to the leaders and make their word become law. Others are much more skeptical and take bits and pieces of what the leaders say, if they feel they are correct. This latter group of followers has a mind of its own, but they do not wield enough influence or charisma or power to become leaders.

We also have the noisemakers who just want to be seen and heard, even if it requires not being true to themselves or making fools of themselves.

Then we have those who blame the leaders for every single thing that is wrong in their lives, forgetting that most times, how your life turns out is in your hands.

Why that long and probably-inaccurate epistle? Well, I’ve been hearing of a Lipstick Gang for quite some time, and at first I was amused, but it is kind of downright annoying that we have decided to imagine in our heads an elite group who can get away with whatever they like. This is the typical Nigerian complaining that Nigeria is in shambles due to colonialism.

Sure, I see some comments and I wonder how the commenter gets away with it, when it’s basically on the same level as the things Chizzie gets sanctioned for, and we focus it around a particular set of people, completely forgetting that even some other people who have made those same terrible comments are being ignored by the Admin. That’s why I said that we have created in our minds this elite group which might have as well been everyone on KD, because only very few people can say they haven’t said some very downright mean and nasty things and gotten away with it.

Personally, I believe there is no Lipstick Gang. Just as some of the Admin’s friends are getting away with bad behaviour, some of the rest of us have gotten away with it too. So biko, we need to stop playing the victim. It’s not a pretty sight.

Besides, I wonder if people on here are like women who have labour pains and forget about them once labour is done. If I remember correctly, the people who disappeared were actually people whom many didn’t like. From the way people replied their comments, you’d think we wouldn’t be sorry to see them go. I’m pretty sure the Admin had very little to do with their leaving compared to how their comments are attacked by the people in this blog. I don’t miss Chizzie’s comments, but if he did come back, I really couldn’t care at all. I don’t think I’d even miss any commenter if they decided to leave the blog. Just make sure articles to read are frequently updated. I stopped caring too much about comments when I realised it’s sometimes just a bloodbath, to the extent that reasonable talk is shadowed by the grievances we have against one another. Grievances against total strangers whose crime was to state their opinion, no matter how foolish/desperate/uncalled for/disturbing they seem. I shake my head.

I’ll say it again. If you have nothing good or constructive to say, please don’t say anything. It’s not by force to talk. The amount of times I’ve seen comments that make the corners of my mouth turn down and I’m just about to give the commenter a piece of my mind, then I go back to read what I’ve written, and if I see there’s no way to say it without seeming like a bitch, I just delete the comment and observe. It’s not like my single comment will change the course of the person’s life forever, let alone their dearly held opinions. Maybe it’s just my nature. I really hate conflict and I avoid it as gracefully as I can, because energy spent fighting can be used for better things.

And biko, all of you should leave my dear Pinky alone. It’s his blog. If he wants to run it as a democrat or dictator, it’s his bidneezz. He’s doing what he’s come here to do and that’s to give stories. When people misbehave, he’s allowed to react how he likes. He can choose to ignore. He can choose to side with the person. He can choose to delete the comment. It would be nice if he censored things, but if he decides not to, it won’t add to his salary or reduce the price of fuel.

My, that was an epically long rant. I’m spent. *adjusts hijab and rides away on Unicorn*

 Written by James

61 thoughts on “JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 37)

  1. Interesting read:). I like the narrative. It’s something I often find rather boring but I dare say that the author gave me enjoyment. Anyway, yes, this is the first entry I’m reading :D, I’ll hunt down the other ones. Lol. Good morning.

  2. Curious how dis came up. I had to do a self evaluation yesterday. I will chalk it up to hormonal imbalance. Anyways, I noticed someone just has to be a bitch on KD. Reading thru old posts, It started with Alpha Papi. Chizzie was very vocal against him. Papi left, Chizzie took over. He left…biko, honestly ppl, Am I Nasty or just a loud mouthed idiotic opinionated whore? (God bless that soul that will ever quote this again)…or is it Max (darling, you are fine with me jare).
    Then it hit me, WHEN you become a ‘tyrant’ no matter the group, u fall into, Lipstick, Arsekisser, ‘Hypocriticus Anonymous’, or how friendly u r with the mod, on a free world forum like this, you will be ousted by GENERAL consensus, sooner or later.

    Seeing as u will not let this ‘top’, ‘bottom’, ‘verse’ matter rest, you sha wantu start another war. I saw ur marketing there o.

    How come nobody I know knows about the raid? Even the super slut I thot wud be afire with gossip seems to lack details.

  3. About your mum…
    My mum can be cool, I know. But she also loves to control people with her money (& she can emotionally blackmail GMB to relinquish his mandate to GEJ). From JS3, I began to put up a little ‘resistance’ to her control (especially the emotional blackmail) & she’d threaten not to cut off my allowance for school. With this she controlled me a little. Not like I did much: I never went out because I hated the sun; I didn’t have friends because I wasn’t a people person (also was introverted). What she really wanted was I don’t challenge her authority.

    College came. Lemme give you an idea… I’d wanted UniLag, she felt I’d go wayward there. I went for UniBen & she kept hammering on how tribalist they were and I wouldn’t get picked (UniBen’s VC then was Igbo). She now employed everything she had in her book to ship me off to some church-owned university. I refused and she threatened all that there was in the book. When I didn’t budge, (I’z tempted to say “bulge” hehehe) she changed my choice to UNN (before JAMB results were released). You see, she was a Margaret Thatcher (that’s what my sibling & I call her).

    After my for shman year, I let my hair grow longer. Boy did she threaten to cut me off (ironically, she was the first person to braid it. She even begged me to let her). Now, she didn’t really have issues with my hair (she mostly never had issues with anything I did), but was bending to societal pressures, she’s a single mom after all. I refused to cut the hair and I was made to return to school with no allowance. I hated the sun, hated people (not individual personalities), disliked food, despised any form of brouhaha(even as a noise maker myself)…so I was cool without money. 3/4 weeks later she calls, asks how I’m faring and demands I text my account number. I uninterestedly tell her she has it. Next day, I get the 3 beep of life.

    The reason for my memoir you might ask. I’m tryna say “cut yourself off”. If you can, do whatever you can to make tuition the only thing you need from her. If she threatens to withdraw that too, make it seem like you have options. The more independent you get, the more respect you earn and the less control they exert. There’re things you can stop while being dependent even. I refused to join in the fasting after Elementary 4 (my mum wasn’t overly religious though, and most of the fasting was initiated by aunts/uncles).

    Your mum seems like mine in many ways. Your family though may be different (I announced my atheism in JS3 and nothing happened–they thought it a joke though). So my dearest Jemima, your life is yours. The power your mum has over you, you gave to her. Until you take it back, ihe na-ebe ga na-ebe.

    • But you see, James is a spoilt brat(no offense) and is still enjoying the fruits of dependency, so he wouldn’t wanna ruffle feathers.

      • I see…
        Sooner or later he’d realize he should have ruffled the feathers as soon as he popped outta the veejayjay. Parents aren’t any different from people. Power corrupts…

    • Can this pass for an honest advice from a friend who REALLY MEANT WELL? If it does,can it passed the test of REALITY? I expected to see where you gave options where James could raise money from to fund his education and upkeep. Is obedient to parents a function of their provisions for their children? I think we should look for better ways of handling issues rather than resort to dishonest eye-service.

      • Mr Gad, do read my comment again. I never mentioned having alternative source of income (even though I later started a business). I talked about weaning myself from the extra money which I really didn’t need. The basic things I needed my savings covered them.

        You always act like you are the smartest in dealing with parents/family. I weaned myself of my mum’s money and got my life. Whatever it was that worked for you certainly would never have worked for me. I told my story and never did I say James should do what I did the way I did it.

        No matter the denial you put up, humans have been controlling each other with resources. Parents are the worse at that. Maybe your growing up was filled with dishonest eye service but may I point one thing out?? James current life is a façade.
        Fasting, praying & acting like you’re turning straight whilst you’re forever gay = dishonest eye service.

        I guess your horse isn’t high after all.

    • JSU, one needs a stream of income before one can save. Rather than tell Dear James how to make money so as to be financially independent you went on to abuse. why did you tell him your strory if not for him to learn lessons therein?was it just for the fun of it?

      • How times have changed!
        In my days, who gave monkey banana ( dont make me laugh).
        No wonder kids of today are busy slaughtering their parents.

      • The worrisome part is that those who have slaughtered their parents are subtly scheming to talk others to toe the same line. Sad

      • My initial response to you was to ask how realistic your advice was. Many parents could barely give their children enough pocket money to sustain them. What’s the workability of this advice. I think @ this point I have to reiterate what Pinky said yesterday that James should continue paliating diplomatically with his Mum with the aim of making her come to terms with his sexuality ,though, I have reservations on this issue of talking about ones sexuality.On a final note, please we should always strive to tell each other the truth here at all times and not just say things for the fun of it. You might not believe in God but it doesn’t change the fact that one day we will give account to Him. Its not cool to deceive others. @ James,I told Pinky to give you my contacts sometime ago but I’m yet to hear from you.

  4. “because only very few people can say they haven’t said some very downright mean and nasty things and gotten away with it.”

    <<Same thing I said yesterday.
    About your mum's deliverance- I think you need a beard in your life. Take a beard home for once and have @ least one year break from deliverance talks.
    About topping and bottoming, I'm not gonna say anything about it, you just said my mind.
    Nice piece

    • But there are shades of what you keep preaching about on the topping/bottoming issues, which isn’t in what James said. Actually, James had more respect for the issue of roles than you expressed days ago. 🙂

      • I always find it funny when you include a smiley after making a kinda comment. ☺.
        Yeah maybe I took a more aggressive approach on the matter. Let’s blame it on too much testosterone coursing through my veins that particular day.

    • Tbh I sometimes wonder if I could get away with dating a lesbian.. They just seem so hard for me to find.

      • You don’t need a lesbian. All you need is a nice church girl who believes in abstinence, who can buy into the idea that you believe in “no sex before marriage”. Ya’ll can be kissing and all but you won’t have to deal with p*$$y.

      • And this charade is supposed to last how long? It’s supposed to help how? Oh yea, make the mum get more comfortable with the idea that her fasting and praying is working.
        For someone who decries deceit in gay men, Max, that was quite a leap to the bad side for you.
        James has the luxury most of us don’t have. He IS already out to his family. His mother simply refuses to come to terms with the programme. And in my opinion, he should working at gently making the woman come to terms that he is who he is. Instead of creating a falsehood to pacify her momentarily.
        What then happens tomorrow when he decides to stop showing off a ‘nice church girl’ to her? What then does she think of him then?
        Remember that slogan about being true to yourself, it comes in different shades and styles in an individual’s life.

      • @Pinky, you of all people know where I stand on the issue. But in this case, I’ve been following James’ journal for a while now and I’ve come to realize something, he’s not a very strong person, both physically and emotionally. He’s still tethered deeply to his family and although I’d like to advice him to throw his family under the bus, I know he can’t do that, not now @ least. We can talk to our family anyhow we like, cos we don’t depend on them for support anymore, but he can’t. You don’t know how it feels for your oxygen supply to be cut off, just because you refused to cave a Lil.
        I’m not saying he should be a coward, but you should try and understand his predicament. Between going for deliverance session and wearing a beard, I think a beard is a more lasting solution till he’s fully independent. And let’s not forget that he “didn’t” come out. He was more like outed by his mother(when she popped the question)who’s been on his trail for a long time.
        So he didn’t just wake up one day and say- ” Hey mum, I’m gay”.

  5. Again we forget something, this is PP’s blog, but this blog isn’t about PP. I trust his judgment 98% of the time. I’m only not OK with times he used “if you ever”, “about my friend” & ‘delete the comment as soon as you’re done typing it’ in the same comment. There’s no enmity going on here, we’re all friends.

    About deleting comments… I swear, the only problem I have is that I mostly read posts days after they were posted and don’t wanna miss any of the drama. And to me, very few comments deserve the bin (eg: Jesus Christ’s revelation about Islam). But instead of getting the bin, what we need is 5 positive comments replying to a negative one. Deleting a comment wouldn’t make others not make the same mistake. Deleting one side of the argument (be it wishing HIV on someone) is tantamount to shoving principles into where most of us will rather have dicks. 10 educative comments after one calling someone an “ugly, disease ridden skinny vermin” and hoping they die will most likely teach me not to say such about anyone. Deleting it will most likely cost me that education.

    ION, Brian Collins, I hear you’ve been asking of me. What may I do for you my graceful sire??

    • JSU, i want to invite myself to hang out with you whenever you’d like, maybe see a movie together.
      Ps: i want JSU to be the first KDian i’ll meet.

  6. I just heard about the raid too. The grounds they were arrested on was really baseless. They spent four days in a cell

  7. Really enjoyed reading this … plus i saw the shades!

    About your mother and deliverance, with what i have been reading from your previous diaries; she is strong willed. so i suggest you endure as many deliverance sessions till you are independent; “till your opinion really matters”… you can just not be hope for the fasting part, convince her that u ll do it in school then just dont.

    It is well.

    • This sounds more realistic to me. My concern is not about fasting and deliverance sessions. I’m more concerned about the way James handles his Mum. I trust his judgements to handle this diplomatically going by his previous posts. I must admit that I totally agree with Pinky on all points as far as this is concerned.

  8. James, this was very well written and so much fun to read. Many aspects were hilarious. I really laughed when I was reading the car part. Hahaha! Well done. And I see what you did with the last part of your comment. Brilliant. A little to the left and a little to the right. You exhibited tact and diplomacy with the way you handled it. And I agree with everything you said. Thanks for telling it as it is. Welldone!

  9. Yeah!
    That was an awfully loooooooong rant.
    Like I always tell my friends, whatever role it is you play in the bedroom, be good at it because (pardon my french) “a fuck can be refucked if the fucker and the fuckee both agree that the the fuck is worth being refucked” *I’m pretty sure that didn’t make sense but you get my drift.
    Secondly, guys stop trying to live a lie. I didn’t say rub your sexuality in someone’s face but just be true to yourself and those that matter.

  10. “..leave Pinky alone… It’s his blog. If he wants to RUN it as a democrat or Dictator, it’s his bidneezz”

    🎶Who runs the blog? Pinky!🎶
    🎶Who runs the blog? Pinky!🎶
    🎶Who runs the mother fucking, blog? Pinky!🎶

  11. You know, over time I’ve bn reading some of my past comments and truthfully, I should have just placated my itchy fingers with something more exciting.
    Some of my comments just came out as petty and childish.
    So yes, you’re right. I played a part somehow.

    My mother asked me when I’m bringing my beard home so she could meet her.
    I looked at her and told her she doesn’t get to control my Gay lifestyle… She’s controlled me all my life. I won’t let her continue.

    This is nice James.
    Happy Sunday.

  12. I had a crazy weekend. I am just catching my breath now.

    James with each entry you make me like you more. Reach out to me, you know where

  13. Wasn’t going to post a comment on this cause it was gibberish for the most part till I got to the lipstick gang bit. You started by saying how every society is made of people and class, some in the upper echelons, some not so much : Which is fact. Then u went on to say that the lipstick/ elite gang was a figment of some of the readers imagination, Doesn’t that in ways contradict the premise of the point you are trying to convey? This is an online society…and with all societies, there’s a class system. its a subconscious phenomena that occurs and KD has one. Whether the admin chooses to acknowledge it, it does exist. The admin’s stance should always be on neutrality and diplomacy but we know that hasn’t always been the case.
    About why some ppl’s comments are missing, you do know the admin has the ability to delete comments right? Its a privilege he’s threatened to use on a few occasions.
    Then Chizzie. The dude’s been gone for a while and yet his name alwys pops up one way or the other. His name was mentioned on two occasions on your post and thats someone claiming he doesn’t miss him. All uv succeeded in doing was contradict yourslef especially in the latter part of this post.

    Stick to your rants bruv.

    • James’ admonition clearly stung a strongly-worded response from someone. lol. One might be tempted to think he identified with the wrong end of the admonition.

      • When you say wrong end Mandy, i think you actually mean the end literarily abi?

  14. This was really long, i got bored once but it picked up again and it ended marvelously. I am surprised that no one decided to be ‘tactless’ and against all odds name names they thought fit into every category James mentioned cos a few names came to mind.
    Pls do not listen to JSU about cutting yourself off, well except you plan on becoming a runs boi.
    Your analysis about a group of people put together is so on point and lemme just leave it at that.
    Ehn ehn, about that Lipstick gang (they can sabi to reject Lickspittle ehn) Lemme just say that Diaris God o. That was how they were having tea and biscuits and coffee breaks and not inviting anyone and even going off KD and going to Cold Stone Creamery or whatever it is called (saw the name barely at The Palms) and following each other on Twitter and Instagram. On behalf of non members i say #WeNoGoGree.
    *adjusts hijab and rides away on Unicorn* I pictured a bomb toting gay terrorist when i read this.
    ION If Max is called Maxine and James – Jemima, i’ll probably be called Brianna. I wonder what Diablo, Peak, Dennis and Ace will be called.

  15. A blogger is the arbitrator for commmentators.
    It is the readers and the commentators that makes a blog big and blow up.
    A blog director cant afford to be loyal to a friend(s) or clique, no way.
    A blog director must remain indifferent to contrary views as long as they are politically correct.
    A lot of readers look forwards to comments both in support and against the writer’s article.
    It cant be easy for a blogger to be a sentimentalist.

    • Chris, do you not think that sometimes the comments could be so hateful and offensive, that blogger has to step in and remove the comments?

      It happens on bigger blogs

      • Yes Keredim69, with afterthought, i was waiting for the above question.
        On bigger blogs, (a) hateful and offensive comments are reviewed or moderated,
        (b) The blog director would inform the commentator the reason for the deletion of
        the comment to fellow readers knowledge.
        (c) Persistent offender(s) can be banned, finito

      • In my major viewpoint, i also stated, that as long as views are politically correct,
        which systematically disregard hateful, malicious and offensive comments.

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