Ever gotten to a point where the phrase “You are cute” has no effect whatsoever on you, where if feels like just any other phrase. In my case, it annoys me. I am good looking, I know. But hearing that compliment one too many times makes me sick. Gives me the feeling that the admirer just wants time in ‘my heaven’.
“Follow your heart but take your brain with you.” I stumbled on this quote from an Ex one time. And I thought, he couldn’t be more right. I mean, I should have known better.
My previous relationships drained me. I was so in it to please my partners, I thought less of myself. And it didn’t even pay. Heck, now, I come first in everything. “Me” should be number one priority. Family comes first before Bae sef. (If you get where I’m coming from)
Badoo is like the only hookup site I’m into. And it’s not so bad. I’ve met good people, ugly people, egocentric people, ignorant people, knuckle heads, bone heads, idiots, and far better/worse people through this app.
One I met not too long after my breakup with Kel. Call him Lamar. Total Baby-face. I clicked the Yes button as soon as his profile popped up on Encounters. He’d already liked mine. We got chatting, exchanged BBM pins. Got acquainted, sent VNs, kisses, hug smileys. It was smooth. Potential Boyfriend. I didn’t tell any of my close pals about this. (Bad move) I just wanted to be sure it was going to work, before spreading the good news.
So, Lamar and I got cozy on social media level. We were finally going to meet face-to-face at his friend’s place. He gave me directions. Me wey never sabi Lagos well followed the route he’d described, only later realizing there was a shorter route straight from my house. I brushed the annoyance and disappointment that came with that knowledge aside. I’d arrived at the spot where we were to meet. Bus-stop tinz. Lamar wasn’t even close.
“Where are you?” I asked when my call went through.
“We are close. Don’t worry, we’ll soon be there. Sorry,” he answered.
I stood there for about three hours under our ever blazing sun. Three hours. Chai! Trust the heavenly body na, I blackened within an hour. Sweating like Mary Lambert jogging from Seattle to New York. I can sweat for Africa though, in spite of my skinniness. I could have gone home. Heck, there was a short route. I should have.
But I exercised patience (one virtue I think I should be dispossessed off). He was gonna reimburse me anyway. So I waited.
After enduring the curious eyes staring at me and the beat of the sun and spices for three hours and thirty minutes, he finally showed up. His friend was already at the apartment. My phone went flat immediately our eyes locked (nawa for devil!). I knew I looked like shit after all that clinging to the virtue I possessed. I tried not to think about that. I was angry. I gave him one of my nasty looks. He crossed over to where I stood; my sweat oozing frustration and anger.
He looked remorseful. Baby face.
“I am so sorry,” he said, and then he put an arm over my shoulders.
I didn’t shove it off. I was still stone-faced. As we walked into the street, his attention was fixed on my face.
“You’re cute,” he said.
“What?” He was lying, I thought. Looking as I looked? He had to be lying. However, I still wanted to believe him.
“You’re very cute,” he said again.
“Stop lying. Stop whyning me,” I snapped.
“No, I’m serious.”
We got to the apartment. It was small and not entirely tidy. Nicely furnished. His friend stepped out to welcome me. Their combination. The pair. Laptops, cigarettes, tattoos, drinks and stuff everywhere.
And my first thought was: Did I just walk into a Yahoo-yahoo set-up?
Written by Kizito