My Fascination With Gay Parties

g13I love gay parties!

This is not because I am a horny bastard or because of the fact I like when a guy is grinding on me or vice versa. It is simply because gay parties provide the perfect atmosphere to be free to do whatever. I mean, we spend three-quarters of our lives pretending to be something we are not; it is always a relief to let your hair down once in a while (literally for some people).

Still, I always wonder why there is always so much drama at gay parties. I attend a lot of parties that are thrown by heterosexual people, and we just all dance, drink and have a good time. Not a lot of time for extra drama. I fear that is not the case with my people, as drama defines us.

Let me illustrate the typical Nigerian gay party.

So I get a text from a friend: ‘Hey Tony, if you are getting this, then it means you have been shortlisted. You are invited to my EXCLUSIVE Birthday Bash at my house. Time is 8pm till dawn. Come ready to have a good time, and this invite admits only ONE person. See you there. Sule.’

As you can see, there is already drama from the invite.

Anyway, the day of the party comes and I decide to get there by 10pm. Not because I want to be fashionably late, but because nothing ever starts on time in Nigeria.

I get to Sule’s house and I am greeted at the door by the very cheerful host. As soon as I am in, I see some effeminate guys in their bum-shorts hugging their nice booties, strutting up and down house. I know some of them, so I give them a hug, chat a bit with them, and feel up some ass…that kind of thing. They are the life of the party and we love them that way.

I get into the living room and some guys are sitting on the couch. They are trying their best to be the ‘men’, so they sip the alcohol in their cups and act like they are not turned on. I mean, it’s raining men.

I advance to the other rooms. Some guys are in clusters in different rooms. Some of them are shy and are worried that the police will bust in and arrest everyone in the house. Some make remarks like: “I don’t even know why I am here” or “I usually don’t attend these kinds of parties.” If you don’t want to be here, then why are you here?

It’s midnight now and things are getting heated. Some people are dancing. The guys on the couch are on the dance floor now, and the guys in the rooms are now on the couch. Some guys walk in and look like they are in another planet. These are the guys that always flaunt their ‘class’ and ‘style’ on the social media. They apparently do not know the host but somehow they are at the party. I know some of them, so I go over and greet them. They make their own remarks like: “Wow! Bitches be thirsty” or “This party is so classless.”

I smile to myself and leave them to go have some fun. I mean I came to party; I should get around to doing so. These ‘classy’ guys go and join the ones on the couch. Some cross their legs and gossip about the “classless bitches on the dance floor”, while some others fiddle with their phones like they are really having a conversation with someone at midnight.

An hour later, everyone is on the dance floor. The ones with ‘a lot of class’ are dancing with the ones with ‘no class’, while the guys who fear fourteen years in jail are in closed corners making out with random people. An hour later, and some are in the rooms having sex, while others are making out on the dance floor. At 4 am, a lot of people are asleep, waiting for dawn so they can all head back to their normal lives.

It is funny, isn’t it? All the drama. All the forming. To what end? No one is going to give you a prize for being better than the next person. There is no hall of fame to showcase your superiority. In the end, we are all the same misunderstood people and we all need each other.

Or in the end, it’s probably not that serious. It’s just a party, right?

Written by Tony Odekunle-Brown


87 thoughts on “My Fascination With Gay Parties

  1. Two weeks ago, I was invited by a friend to attend the party of another friend. As it turns out, it was someone whom I shagged once and deleted off bbm (no offense the guy was not worth more than a shag).

    Anyhu, at the party (which held in a popular garden o), two horny fools begin to kiss in the full view of the public. Immediately my eyes are on super-auto-roll as I gasp in shock. I’m just wtf.
    As homos, I guess we just love n crave drama. Or perhaps we have so much energy and no where to “release” it into.

    Btw the celebrant began chyking me all over again (Yea I was that good)…hehehe

  2. You get a ‘text’ that’s gonna get BCd to a million ppl b4 d day is out…that is one drama

    Oh!! You didn’t add d part where downtown queens and upland bitches get into one another’s noses and flip weaves

    Oh!!! And d part where its a ‘I no wan do, no be by force’, and d rejected suitor picks a fight because he didn’t say no ‘in a polite way’…smh

  3. Ok I love this piece. I ve never been to a gay party before ( its definitely on my to do list), but I ve been in a small gathering of less than 10 people, and the above pretty much sums up everything that went down. The only difference is that the whole sex ish was over and done with by 1am and by 2am folks were already fast asleep. I dont really consider it as drama though. It happens in every party unless you dont pay attention when u are in hetero-parties or in a club.

  4. I attended sooooo many of these parties when I was in university! Oh those were good days; sk, weed, vodka, poppers etc. Oh those fun days!

    I dont get invited to these parties anymore, i have lost my mojo **sad face**

  5. LOL… I find the scenery blatantly disgusting!! …just my choice shaa…
    And about the drama, call it a trade mark…lol
    Actually, I gotta forgive myself for wondering what those look like…nice description from Tony, now I’ve been there!!!
    About having sex everywhere with anyone…someone told me there is nothing like gay modesty or pride; nothing to protect. That it’s just a game to be played for fun… I ain’t trying to be hypocritical cos everyone makes mistakes they should be responsible for, however, some don’t just erase no matter how you try to correct them later! I told him that yes, I know there haven’t been, and I’m the new breed…
    We help to mould some of the stereotypes perpetrated on us!!!

  6. In the quest to ‘stand out’, we often set up a seesaw base — needing to put someone down to get up.
    Problem with this plan is the weight could be gone any second.

    Been to only 3 parties in my life. Unless you count in the other 5 or so (solo or with one or 2 friends) parties I throw at home. I need an IV ASAP!!

  7. Tony its true we loooooove drama.
    But that’s cos its an inherent nature of ours.
    The last birthday I celebrated was a “GAY as Blazes” party complete with booze, lots to eat and a Pink top dress code but I was careful in organizing my guest list *the manager of the venue knows my dad who happens to be a Reverend* cos I needed a lil sanity and comportment while trying to shimmy out of my near outing some months back.
    So I had a 30 guest by invite only bash Let’s just say, the party was a blast and guests left with some party favors n souvenirs *CDs, Lubes, and Shags compliments of yours truly*

  8. Sex is fun! I know that over and over again… Who you do it with matters…
    With the hostilility between people of our own kind which often results to derogatory statements about who someone once made out with or who someone met and all that…it’s not just about your fun all the time, your future matters…
    After sex, comes a familiarity, which can build to respect if people get close, or several other emotions that could be harmful. Noone wants to pokenose into your private affairs, nor do I want you to live a less funny life, you can make your decisions. And that is perfect! I am just saying that the number of people you sleep with determines how unserious people take you…when you have a future, and/or begin to apire…

  9. Nice piece! What would the gaybourhood be without a lil drama? Been to a few gay gatherings, heck I’ve hosted a couple myself – gays know how to have a gay old time, its almost always fun … the sense of freedom and camaraderie is like a breath of fresh air … i remember back when i used to be scared shitless of setting foot in any gathering of gays, Glad i snapped outta that juvenile phase ..

    • Ah, Khaleesi, I remember the one you dragged me to in Abuja. Gawd! For someone who didn’t know anyone else in the room, I laughed hard at the antics of everyone in the room.

      • You see why I need a gay party in my life? I would laugh die. They didn’t call us gay for nothing.

      • You laughed? My mouth was open wide the whole time. It was a potpourri of emotions running through me. Shock, that ppl could be more brazen and flaming than me; Freedom, I could dance my butterfly and flex and nobody would look at me like WTF; Fear, I kept darting furtive glances at the nearest exit; Suspicion, looking at the hotel staff, or anybody who had the slightest indication of making a call and walking out; Jealousy, everybody seemed to know other ppl…how did I even get the invite sef? And when the shouting and bottle-bursting began, TERROR. It was “I don enter am.My mama go kill me today. Who send me go nite party? Na prison cell sure pass this nite” going thru my mind.

  10. We live in society. And human beings have always been troublesome people. I am saying that the more sexual escapades, the more the possibility of you been seen as unimportant, useless, irresponsible…
    The mistakes of the youthful years will stare us in the face. Most youth channel most of their strength having indiscriminate sex; but sex isn’t the only source of fun. What results is an addiction, after which it has to take enough and extra to satisfy them sexually…
    I would rather channel my strength in being a porn star than in going around touching everywhere!!! That is degrading!!

    • Jamie, please understand something. I wasn’t referring to your reference about the opinion of people when you are having much sex. Frankly, I have no fucks to give to people and their opinions.

      I was merely referring to the part where you implied that the sex you get affects your future. Unless you’re talking about health status, then I don’t get what sex now has to do with the individual tomorrow.

    • Jamie, take it from someone who share the same line of though by this time last year. Its all in ur head. A few months down the line would mark one year that I had consensual sex with another man, and my sex life still needs a couple of hits b4 it could be listed as active. Either way do you.

      • Peak, Peak, Peak, Peak.. Slow down.. You need to take a breather.
        You shouldn’t be all hasty to increase your body count. Let things fall in place and happen naturally.
        Don’t go hoeing around.

    • Hi Jamie, I think it’s ok for the youth or anyone to get as much sex as they want, so long as it’s consensual, safe and no one is getting hurt emotionally.
      The thing is in a gay gathering, once you have slept with more than one person in the room, you are more than likely to be called a slut. And this is usually by the person who can’t get any or has only slept with one person.

      I am confused about the “porn star” comment though. I would have thought, someone who gets paid to have sex (bareback sometimes) with others on multiple occasions, whilst being filmed and viewed by millions across the world and on permanent record for future generations to see, would be the lowest of the lows in your esteemed opinion?😳

  11. As for me i dnt feel comfortable attending d party so i dnt even bother(i dnt even like parties, i feel odd in d setting). I dnt like drama in an form.

  12. One, I really need to attend a gay party especially a Nigerian one. The thrill of danger, pleasure and insecurity is just worth experiencing. I really need to see one for myself. There is one that keeps popping on my timeline and is constantly promoted by one guy. But word going around is that it is the ratchet kind of party. Errmm… Nope!

    Two, the internet famous bitches. God! Jesus! Tony thank you! I mean, we get it; You’ve got a blue contact lens and have thousands of friends on social media, So? Is that an achievement? Is that why you are forming like shit never comot from your nyash before? And their need to use reality shows vocabulary : “oh gosh!” “Fabu!” “Amazballs”, The endless pouts for pictures, the “I am walking and someone took this picture of me like the paparazzi” pictures; it is just too much. Delusion of grandeur is best treated on time.

  13. Lol.. Funny read.
    Never been to a gay party before. My paranoia wouldn’t let me. Been invited a couple of times but I turned down all of em.

  14. How society sees people has always affected how comfortable they were @Pinky. It may not matter much, but it does.
    The amount of people you have sex with, especially ”everybody”, can affect your tomorrow.
    1. Your name. Apart from gay sex, indescriminate sex has been known to corrupt people’s names and sense of dignity. Everyone (those it happened with, and those who were told) see you only from the sexual point of view. Popularity is sure, but what of dignity??? @d end of the day, you will be called several names!!
    How serious would you take your leader if you knew how promiscuous he is???
    2. Healthwise…
    3. Addiction…which is hard to overcome.
    All these, and others I may not yet know, are risks I cannot take. Risks that everyone should not take.
    As I earlier said, what we do in bedrooms is noone’s business shaa…as long as we take responsibility and don’t apportion blames…

    • Jamie, while I understand largely what you’re talking about, the points you’re making, I have to disagree with a bulk of it. Eschewing the health and addiction points you brought up, I have to say that your future is largely what you make it, and in small parts with the perception of people. People talk, yes. But fortunately, the difference between the gay world and the straight world is people may talk, but they don’t talk to every ear. So unless you want to tell me that every potential employer and every potential business partner and every potential colleague and potential contributor to your destiny is someone whose ears are likely to listen to the gossip about your GAY sex life, then there’s really no point there.
      An overactive sex life is only problematic when the person indulging in it is not protective of himself, health-wise. But to tell me that the more partners you have will colour your future, that’s just laughable. Sure, it will make tongues wag in the gaybourhood, but then, is it these gossips that will determine your future?

      Your future is what you make of it, what you contribute to it. Are you trying to say that if say, a gay slut who just happens to be very industrious and intelligent and knows his stuff were to go for an interview and impress the interviewers, they wouldn’t hire him because he had an threesome the night before?

      I get that you’re prudish, and there’s nothing wrong with that. but trying to make a more sexually active person feel disadvantaged, as though his sex life is some sort of handicap is wrong.

    • Well said PP. The truth and nothing but the truth.
      I still don’t see the truth in the addiction part either. There are people who use to ve active sex lives, but for some reason, haven’t had any sexual encounters in months, and are still functioning just fine. One of the myths about gay sex is u are told once u ve sex with a guy u just transition into a dick and ass hungry monster with insatiable appetite. Thats a big fat lie if u ask me.

    • OAN Jamie, the way social health workers flock to these parties (at least ALL d ones I av bin too), it makes you wonder if gay parties are USAID or NACA sponsored or something. Free HIV screening and condoms and lubes…guy, the health aspect of your concerns is ALWAYS covered.

  15. I loooove gay gatherings. Not necessary a party. Some parties just turn into orgies. And I don’t like orgies. I just sip and banter.

  16. All these long long comments here…..una too get mouth. Abeg it’s been almost a year now I went to a Gay party. Biko I will love to attend to another soon. The fun I always have there is second to none. Whew !

  17. I wouldn’t mind attending a gay party but the fear is just there. It seems the Nigerian police have forgotten why they are in existence. Instead, they go around raiding gay parties and meetings because they are easy targets and are willing to pay anything to prevent the information getting to the media. Or is it not the same Nigeria where some guys were arrested for attending a gay party or is it even wedding in Kano. God help you if the host is a very wealthy person.

  18. Gay Parties…….i get invited all the time by friends since ryt from secondary school and i usually develop chicken feet on said day……

    And the Drama that goes down at these parties (from what i hear)o boi!…maybe the Benin ones are just too ratchety…
    Being that have i’ve never been to any before i guess the next invite i get will see me taking one of my novels along for companionship with my reading glass dutifully rested on nasal bridge….
    Who wants to invite me?….Panther, Khalee, Dm, Max, Peakaboo, Shifu, Ace, Gad, Kryxx…….anyone?

    • Sorry dear Andrevin, I don’t attend night functions. I don’t attend parties. Gay or straight. Anywhere that has the potentials for fights to erupt is a no go area for me. I don’t fancy feeding the public also except when it’s absolutely necessary. However, I don’t mind Christmas carols and Easter cantatars in a well secured premises. So don’t expect an invite for me.

  19. It doesn’t have to be every potential employer for every gay man! But if someone happens to be a victim, I know it’d hurt…
    I didn’t know if I was making sexually active members feel bad… Sorry, my dears. But I have said many times before that it was my point of view and that it doesn’t have to be compulsory for everyone. Take responsibility for your life. Personally, I don’t like critics and hypocritics that much, but I love to argue and examine my life and change the things about it which I find wrong… I love advice!
    About the porn actor issue, yes, I would prefer to be a confirmed porn star than a little yet popular public amenity!!!
    It’s about self control! How would you feel to meet another guy who is knowing you for the first time, and you both interact and become friends… Such respect!!

      • No, Sinnex. I took the giant step across the border…
        And now that you have the chance, make choices that will increase your self-worth/esteem… I know that right now you’re gonna be the hot cake, and hope you’re not gonna be the cold cake someday…lol

      • Jamie, I get the feeling you joined the party and partied hard, you were the “belle of the ball” for all of 5 mins. I those 5 mins you spread yourself thin and probably you were not very discerning and it did not go too well. 😢
        Is that anywhere near the case?

  20. no thanks, im fine with my straight themed parties with my straight friends, or the occasional Friday-nights-at-a-love-interests house. No gay parties for me pls, maybe ive got internalized homophobia too! *cue scream*

    • Whaaaaaaaaat!
      That phrase again Diablo.
      I get the angle Jamie is coming from *I’m a victim* and I’ve spent the past 4 years shedding that image.
      Truth is that once you go the “Hoe Way” and turn over a new leaf, chances are your past will continually haunt you but your ability to rise and remain above whatever notion they have about you is the true testament of your “change” and maturity.

      • Lol… You guys are all diverting the topic from what is discussed here. It’s not about me, it’s about what is/what exists!! So stop jumping to conclusions…
        Someone talked about health workers being at the parties…what about outside the parties??? Inside the parties isn’t the only place people have indescriminate sex…right?
        And we mustn’t talk about ourselves alone. We should consider all phases too. What of those not-so-priviledged boys out there wont to try out things in really ugly and odd fashions???

    • Straight themed parties rocks, , no bitchiness, minimal drama, less tension, no fear or worry( if the so called gay party is in a country where homo activities is banned). That’s whats up.

  21. *raises hand* learner here.

    Someone should invite me to a gay party biko… if not for anything, to feed my eyes.

  22. Three words describe gay parties, Drama, Drama, Drama. The drama at the only party i have been to was life. The MC was absolutely rude, dem bishes were absolutely looking royally slutty in their bum shorts. Some other bishes were screaming ‘women of class and dignity’ in a corner of the room. No one would talk to my friend cos they thought i was his BF (i wasnt feeling too well so i had him sit with me). My other friend was forming ‘mando’ and was disgusted at the flamboyant ones, i had to tell him to take a chill pill. What other place would a gay man express himself more than a gay party (it was an example of what some people would call internalized homophobia). I met this really cute guy but he didnt pay much attention to me, some bishes ganged up to this cute shy boy and i had to rescue him. Some guys were making out with sloppy kisses on the dance floor, it was kinda torture to watch. Then some other bish wanted to claw out another’s eye, it was so hilarious. I had a great time. Can’t wait to attend another gay party.

  23. Went to a lot of these parties when I was younger. What’s going on? Don’t people host parties anymore? Or am I now too old to be invited? *sigh*

    This write-up brings back memories, Thanks TOB!

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