Blog_Kizito SpeaksIt was the usual boring day, a bright day though. The sun was high up in the sky; I was going to wash my clothes.

He had been spying on me. He’d noticed my secrecy with that book – my diary. He’d been watching somehow. I noticed. But I always hid the book. Surely he would not go through the stress of ravaging my belongings just to see what was written beneath the hard cover, I thought.


My elder brother. Alex.

On this fateful day, Alex decided he couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. I was downstairs washing. The perfect opportunity. We shared the same room, but he locked the door and began Operation Find Kizito’s Diary. Hian. Nosy much?

Well, while I was washing with earphones plugged in, (y’all will agree with me that chores are better done whilst listening to music), my palasa phone’s battery went off. I had a spare. It was upstairs, in our room.

On getting there na, ah-ah, the door was jammed. I knocked.

“Yes!” he yelled in response.

“It’s me,” I replied. “I want to take my battery.”

Something wasn’t right, I felt it.

“Go joor. I’m in the toilet. I’m shitting,” he threw back from the other side of the door.

I wasn’t buying it. So I peered into the room through the keyhole, and I saw my precious in his hands. Baggage on the floor. My heart skipped two beats. Hey! Another kind of Kito. I screamed, “Open this door joor! I want to take my battery!”

He did sharp-guy-no-be-thief and put all my stuff back in order. I banged at the door, peered through the keyhole again. I knew I had spoiled show. He stepped into the bathroom, came out swiftly, unclad with just a towel round his waist, to make the shitting story more convincing. He was fooling Biati, he must have thought. I no fit vex.

“Ah-ah, what is it? I told you I was in the toilet,” he snapped.

I simply walked past him toward my belongings. Serious foul play. I was somewhat amused by all of it. “Nawa,” I muttered. “Some people cannot just mind their business.”

He understood. Asiri ti tu for the both of us. He simply walked straight back into the bathroom. I gave this humorless laugh and thought: Maybe coming out in the future won’t be so difficult, someone already knows. Alex.

I told Diary everything. I think.

I also lost Diary some minutes later. I burned it. After pacing up and down the house for some time, emotions running deep, I simply took a matchstick to it. And then I stood there, watching misty-eyed as words and ink burned. Like you see in the movies. And I washed the ashes down the sink.

We said nothing to each other after that day. Some sort of malice. E get as we dey do am. Our expressions always grim. Carrying ‘Ihu Ekpo’ – as Mum calls it – for each other. Don’t talk to me, I won’t talk to you. Don’t touch my stuff, I won’t touch yours. Don’t ask me shit, I won’t do same. We kept on like that.

I told a few peeps, they were like: “Ha. Kito”, “Why would you keep a diary? That’s childish”, “Sorry”, “Let me see his picture”, “Maybe he’s gay too, that’s why he’s hasn’t told anybody”… Blah.


I don’t really care.

Written by Kizito

45 thoughts on “KIZITO SPEAKS IV

  1. Hahaha. This write up is hilarious. Well I think for ur brother to read ur diary and not say anything could mean that he really doesn’t mind who u are. It’s same with me. I’m sure my brother suspects me but he’s cool with it.

  2. NOOOOOOO!!!! Not the matchstick approach. You could av hidden it outside the house and ignored it for days to get him off d scent. I ALWAYS let ppl read my diary…in my own time. Whatever is in the past is PAST. If you look at my present or future with dem eyes, OYO is ur case.

    I haven’t kept one in years tho and when I tried too recently, found my life had become a more boring triangular routine and reading thry was like a major chore

  3. Yeah I know that PP but I also know that if it was something he didn’t like he’ll come out and ask me about it. Anyways whatever is the case, I am who I am and I don’t need his approval.

  4. I keep a diary up till this day, a very detailed one at that. However I use codes and some special slangs in it that only my best buddie can read it and make sense of it. I could write about you, you read it and you wont have any idea it was about you.

    This is hilarious Kizito, why so short? *sad face*

  5. Lol…kizito,u’re a clown sha, u know that,right? Hahaha!
    A diary can be a very dangerous thing…in d wrong hands. I usually wonder why people keep diaries; I imagine it’s those ppl who intend to write an autobiography later in life?(Which makes sense,cos that’s the only way u remember all the details…)

  6. Hmmmmmmmmmm….
    I don’t think I can keep a diary oh!
    Its hard enough managing the privacy of your phone, adding a diary is just pure suicide.
    Your brother is hilarious Kizito
    He must really think you were born yesterday to play the toilet card.

  7. I almost choked on my jollof rice while reading this 😂😂😂😂😂…. My oversabi mum just asked why am always laughing wen I look at my fone in the morning…. Mothers sha…lol

  8. Kizito, you’re a clown. A big one. this entry is hilarious.
    I have six up to date Journals and Diaries. Had to make words and slangs up.
    Its always amazing when you pen down stuffs.
    luckily for me I have no siblings to go through my stuffs.
    The bliss of being an only child…

    Nice entry again.
    luurh yah.

  9. Keeping diaries… makes you… I love keeping diaries. It’s just that some days will be boring in them. Funny enough, my diary is in the clouds, synced across all my devices. bad? They’re encrypted oh.

  10. I wish I weren’t an only child, but then I wouldn’t have to worry abt someone trying to get hands on a diary of mine. Thats presuming I had one. You know there’s online diarys now? And mobile apps and journals, that come with passwords?…. once again: 2015, people, 2015

    • Lol. Diablo, sometimes, nothing beats the traditional putting your pen to paper. Its just like reading books these days. In spite of the PDFs and e-books springing forth here and there, to me, nothing beats actually holding the book, settling in a corner and turning the pages, one after the other as I soak the words in.

  11. Lol. My room is like CIA headquarters.. You won’t find anything out of place.. No passwords written down anywhere, I have all of them in my head. No diaries (you don’t want that to fall into the wrong hands).. Always open porn in incognito windows, so that even when you get caught off guard and let someone use your laptop, they won’t see sh*t. Keep the porn statch in layers of encryption. Its there, but you just can’t see it. Lubes & All are out of sight. To the common mind, everything in the room will seem just random, but that’s part of the whole camouflage.

      • All I could think of while reading this comment is how the S.W.A.T team will invade your room and find nothing. Tehehehe..

      • Keeping secrets has become second nature to me. Its no wonder I love spy movies. Sometimes I even fantasize about being a spy 😍. I dunno why people hate spies so much though?
        There’s a certain satisfaction you derive from being clandestine..

      • @Vhar, I never worry about anyone finding anything..☺.. My phone is my only weak link, and for that reason, its become an extension of my body. It’s never far away from me, no matter what.

  12. Keeping Dairies ENCRYPTED or not.. is just a not-so-cool idea… Tbh except you are penning down goals, resolution and the likes. Anyother reasons like penning down all the different dicks you had fucked and wish to ride on.. Is down right childish and dumb.. Not to add its a recipe for disaster and a major ingredient of a serious Kito situation. I see absolutely no reason for it. Nways since the writer of this post is a young adult (I’m presuming) I see no wrong here. But please next time do away with dairies.. Imagine those damn daries in the hands of your mum or dad or worst still a str8 guy looking to get back at you but doesn’t know how.

    If your ELDER brother saw what was in your dairies (which I’m assuming is filled with things gay-related) and didn’t say anything about it? Trust me he is cool with it.. Trust me! Cuz I’m talking from experience.

    Something keeps telling me your brother would be a cute hunk. Yes? I could only imagine him in those towel of his… Hmmmm!

  13. Your story reminded me of what we used to do to my elder sister when we were younger. She was the only one who kept diaries in the family and she always hid it. We had our way round it and always found it where she kept it. Gosh, we frustrated that young girl’s life.

    There was a time I wrote a prayer request about my sexuality and I kept it in a folder in my cupboard. A cupboard only me makes use of. I traveled for an examination but when I got back, my younger ones told me my eldest sister went through my stuffs and she read everything I wrote down. Now, I had a lot of prayer requests in that folder, a lot of documents I hid from my family, applications and stuffs. When I asked her, she said she was looking for the phones I hid. The phones she was talking about was my father’s. He had over 10 powerful phones before he died and I hid them all with the connivance of my mother. This happened in 2012 or so, till now, she has not said anything. I don’t even know what is on her mind. But, whenever I look in her eyes, I see something like she is saying “I know about you, if you like pretend, but you can’t deceive me”. Or what about the one that happened when I was in school, 400 level and in the hostel. I just came back from a programme very late, like around 2 a.m. and I overslept, when I woke up, I saw 4 or 5 of my roommates watching something on my laptop, I discovered that they were watching gay porn. If you see the kind of questions the asked me that day ehhhh…the lie I told, even if you tell me that one, I no go believe. Although, I hid the porn, but I later discovered that even if you hide something in the laptop, when you press next or previous in the video player, the video you watched last is going to come on.

    Or what about the one where my younger sister saw lot of nude pictures of guys on my laptop. I have come to realise that I was quite careless when I was younger. Thank God for android sha.

    Kizito, I think your brother is still processing it. He doesn’t know how to bring it up yet. If your brother is anything like me, he is surely not going to tell you, but he is likely going to tell someone older, like your mother or elder siblings. He might not tell them exactly what he saw, but he would drop hints here and there.

    • Good lord! All these epistle about yourself.. Just to butress a point.
      Bikonu! Sinnex you get time.

      I throwey yansh for you.

      • I dey tell you. The only thing that has been able to help me so far is my mouth. If there is one thing I know how to do best is to hide my emotions. You can never know when I am angry, happy or even scared. I always put on a smiling face. Nobody can win me in an argument, especially when I am defending my person.

    • With the brief gist you have just shared up here,
      damn! you are a strong dude,
      i mean as in mentally,
      Your level of confidence is to be admired,
      and you are still standing?
      enuf respect.

      • Now I am blushing.

        Sometimes, I wonder how and why I am still standing. I have done some crazy stuffs. Thank God I have been able to control my emotions. When I was younger, everything was just confusing.

  14. I had a diary once.. Wait. I still do. I wonder what will happen if any member of my family stumbles upon it. I know my mum will start to homeschool me or somfin. I’d rather not think bout it.

  15. Hmm Ihu Akpo….Don’t touch what’s mine and I won’t touch what’s yours,Among. Enemies thats an Honour. Diary ni I dee crazy ,my Head na my Diary,Moving encyclopedia.

  16. My dad keeps a diary till date @ age 69. lol. Which I sneak in to peep into sometimes…..I use that way to find out what he’s up to and what he has done….used it to know when he has been paid those days I was in school. *covers face* I have even used it to catch him doing roro with one small girl whom I dealt with. bitch ! If he only knows what I do to his diary. hahaha.

  17. I kept a diary in secondary school, I used to wrote down all my fears and the turmoil i was going through as a gay teenager. Luckily for me, i wrote down everything gay in code which no1 could decipher. A few of my friends got nosy and found a way to pick my lock, one day i caught them huddled over my locker poring through the contents. I simply laughed cos i knew they would be unable to decipher the contents … i continued to faithfully make entries into my diary on a near daily basis until midway into my university days …

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