Let’s Discuss…About Genders And Gay Sex Roles

Blog_Let's DiscussTops are men. Bottoms are women.

Tops are masculine. Bottoms are effeminate.

Tops are dominant. Bottoms are submissive.

Tops are strong and steady as a rock. Bottoms are soft and dramatic.

Tops are the bigger, huskier ones in a relationship. Bottoms are those smaller ones by their sides.

Gender stereotypes have crossed the train tracks into the LGBT lane, and they weren’t driven here by the straight people even. No. It is fellow gay men that perpetuate these ludicrous myths.

When an accepting and curious straight person asks a gay person the question, “So who’s the man and who’s the woman in your relationship?”, it is offensive yet mildly amusing. However, when it’s a fellow gay, it’s downright blasphemous and must be set straight (pun intended). There are two penises involved in man-on-man action, so what’s the deal with people thrusting vaginas into the mix? Continue reading

A Piece Of Me Dies Each Day I’m In A Relationship

g48He is in his high chair and I’m angry at him for being selfish. I become very anxious with his perceived incorporeality. Rising up inside of me is a piece of my heart that is angry and impatient.

Then I catch his eyes, bright and bubbling with laughter, and that angry little piece of me dies.

Weeks pass when I’m apart and far from him. The distance prompts him to direct some of his attention elsewhere, and I am made to feel left out and ignored. Days like this, it’s terrifying to watch him go someplace I can’t follow, a sharp turnaround from those days when he was constantly available to me.

Then I remember the good times we shared, how much I really mean to him, and in ways that I can’t imagine, the feeling of betrayal dies slowly. Continue reading

What’s On Your Mind… II

Blog_What's On Your MindSince you asked ever so nicely, I have to admit, I’m surprised I made it again so soon. I never thought I’d be able to put anything down so soon after the last – I am LAZY, I’ll be the first to admit it to anyone who can hear. I know it’s more than a week since my last, but even I am surprised that this was able to come this quickly. I still marvel at how Pinky, James, Bobby and DM are able to churn out high quality work on a regular basis and still find time to lead their lives. Una too mush *in thick Warri accent*

So, guys, here goes.

A few days ago, upon a sudden urge, I went back to 2go – a thing I hadn’t done in like four years. About 4 or 5 years ago, 2go was the hookup app of choice. This was a time when blackberries were not as ubiquitous as they subsequently became, and a time when data was not really as cheap as it is today (at least on the blackberry). And so, I had this sudden brainwave that led me to take a peep into 2go, and so I logged on, realized I’d long ago forgotten my password and went through the password reset and recovery motions. Eventually I was in. Continue reading

‘I Want To Own My Story.’ – Bisi Alimi

celebs 53In December last year, Bisi Alimi joined other global LGBT activists to speak at the New York City public library to mark 2014 Human Rights. His talk titled “My name is Bisi Alimi and I am not a victim” has been adjudged as one of the most moving talks of the day.

The talk was released a couple of days ago, and because I believe his talk will help support others, mostly Africa LGBT people who might be struggling with the challenges they are facing, I had to share.

Check out the video of Bisi’s talk below.

Wife Speaks Up After Finding Husband On Grindr

171371988A mother has asked for help on Mumsnet – after catching her husband using a gay hookup app.

The user of the parenting forum asked for help after finding her husband’s profile – complete with a picture of him posing in his underwear in their en suite bathroom.

“Today I found my DH on Grindr,” she wrote. “Without a doubt it is him. Posing in our en suite bathroom. Confronted him. Says it is not him but refuses to let me see his phone. He is refusing to talk to me. Two children. 7 and 10. I am 43. Don’t know what to do. Please some advice.”

When other mothers were unfamiliar with Grindr, she explained: “It is a gay pick up site… You can see some of his face. God, I even recognise his pants and moles on his chest. He went ashen when I showed him and then defensive and then silence.” Continue reading

THAT WARRI GUY

singles 13This might sound surreal or unreal. It might read like something that can only happen in the pages of a magazine, something that you’d not expect someone of my age to experience.

I am twenty-six years old, and I am gay. I have a thing for younger guys. If you are my age or a year older, I would not be interested, except maybe you have a body like Trey Songz. What a lot of people would not understand is that I have not had penetrative sex before. I have not gone beyond pre-intimacy. Now, don’t take this the wrong way; I am not ugly – heck, I know some not-so-good-looking guys who have sex virtually every day. It is not as if I don’t think about sex or something. I actually do, on a daily basis. It stems more from the fact that I have not met someone that I really like…

All that changed soon enough. Continue reading

Daughters, I Will Learn To Teach You…

Father-daughter-dad-the-trentWhen I finally decide to blow brazenly into the capacious life of mother – er, fatherhood, synthetically, with a rock and another man’s name, I do not hesitate to say that I would want to raise all girls – two girls.

I don’t want to be a mother (father) to sons.

If I’ve learned anything about being a man, it is that being a father is designed to be a contact sport, and far too many of us retire before we even see what the field looks like.

If I’ve learned anything about a woman, it is that no matter how empowering they seem, their existence was designed to never stand a chance. But it’s a lie. They are strong, in some ways stronger than men. I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men. They are far superior, always have been. Continue reading

Porn Star Jarec Wentworth Arrested For Felony Extortion In Undercover FBI Sting

005NTxBljw1epzvlbct2mj31kw11ygohThe stereotype that pretty people are dumb is as insensitive as it is untrue. In this case, however, it seems to hold some weight.

Jarec Wentworth aka Teofil Brank of Sean Cody and Men.com has been arrested by undercover FBI agents for reportedly extorting a wealthy victim by threatening to make public the victim’s embarrassing “sexual liaisons.”

Brank was put under surveillance after he successfully blackmailed the unnamed wealthy gentleman out of some $500,000 in cash and an Audi R8 valued at $180,000.

But after he (very greedily) demanded another million and a condo, the man went to the FBI for help. They set up a sting at a Los Angeles Starbucks, and on March 4th, arrested Brank. Inside Brank’s car at the time of arrest was a loaded .357 Magnum revolver with additional ammunition. Continue reading