THAT WARRI GUY

singles 13This might sound surreal or unreal. It might read like something that can only happen in the pages of a magazine, something that you’d not expect someone of my age to experience.

I am twenty-six years old, and I am gay. I have a thing for younger guys. If you are my age or a year older, I would not be interested, except maybe you have a body like Trey Songz. What a lot of people would not understand is that I have not had penetrative sex before. I have not gone beyond pre-intimacy. Now, don’t take this the wrong way; I am not ugly – heck, I know some not-so-good-looking guys who have sex virtually every day. It is not as if I don’t think about sex or something. I actually do, on a daily basis. It stems more from the fact that I have not met someone that I really like…

All that changed soon enough.

I have gay friends – acquaintances, over a hundred of them, on Facebook, whatsapp, BBM and 2go (yes, I am still on 2go). Most of them want to meet, but I am just not interested. One guy is even asking me right now why I have decided not to meet him.

The issue is that, no matter how good looking a person is, when I meet them, something just goes wrong, either from my end or his. Most of them want sex, and I just need a friend that I can talk to, someone that will listen. If sex comes in the process, good. But I always lay down a ground rule that no one should expect me to put out.

Sometime last year – August/September, I think – I stumbled on the profile of a guy on Facebook. His name is Sly and he is twenty-two or –three, a student of Computer Science in a private university in Delta State. Now this guy is not drop-dead gorgeous, but he is good looking with dark thick juicy lips and a bubble butt. He is also slim. He reminds me of May D. I’ve always liked May D.

And now, I fell in love with Sly.

I sent him a friend request, and he accepted. Subsequently, I added him on whatsapp and sent him a message. For days, I kept on going through his pictures on Facebook, and mehn, he had over 500 of them.

Now, I wasn’t sure if he was gay or not. Our conversations were mostly generic. We did not discuss anything about sex because I did not want to scare him away and I was okay being his friend. After some weeks however, I got bored and deleted his number. I had to do it because he was quite boring. He was not a conversationalist, and I love chatting with guys that actually have a lot to talk about. In fact, I love arguments.

Anyway, I actually forgot about him. Then one day, he sent me a message on whatsapp. Just ‘Hi’. That was all. And all the emotions I’d once felt came rushing back. I had no idea the things I felt for him were still there. He was the second guy I’ve ever felt so strongly for and actually thought of having a relationship with. The first guy was my childhood crush who was not gay. We fooled around back then, but we later grew apart. Or he grew apart. Deep within me, I still have a thing for him but he is no longer in the country.

So then, I realized that Sly meant a lot to me. I couldn’t let him go just like that. So, I gave his number to a friend of mine who is quite good in finding out stuffs and has very strong gaydar. After chatting with Sly for some time, my friend sent me the conversation, confirming to me that Sly was gay. Part of what Sly told my friend was: “Can you take care of my needs…” Now, I did not really think about this because I was too happy to confirm that he was also into guys.

After sometime, I chatted up Sly, and I asked him if he was into guys. He said yes. I asked him out. He accepted.

Now, it is pertinent to note that Sly is based in Warri…hmmm…while I am in Abuja. He told me that he dated an older man for two years. Actually, he said he worked for the man for some time and the man told him he liked him and he accepted. He said he is bottom. He also told me that he broke up with the man because the man made a promise to him and did not fulfill it. The promise, according to him, was he, the man, would give him the money he’d use to pay his school fees, which he’d misplaced. Sly said the man said the man did not give the money, which made him unable to write his exams.

When he told me this story, a massive alarm rang in my head. But like they say, konji can be a real bastard. I immediately silenced the alarm and told the Devil to get behind me.

So, I was officially ‘dating’ Sly. I liked him a lot. He was thuggish, rough-looking and rugged, and to put icing on the cake, he claimed he is bottom. Uh-lala! We planned to meet. He said he did not have any money to pay his fare to Abuja, and asked me to send money to him. I asked him to find out the price from Warri to Abuja. He told me he asked someone and the person said it would not be more than N3, 500. That was in December. I did not meet him then because I had to travel for the holidays.

By January, he promised that he was going to come after his examinations. Now, a lot of things happened in between December and January, and I saw numerous signs; like sometimes, we just stopped chatting like we usually did. He would read my messages and not reply. I would call him and he wouldn’t pick. The worst part is that he is one of those “K” kinds of people. You know, those people who would read your long epistle of love, and thereafter, reply you with a simple ‘k’ or ‘Ya’, as though you are not worth the effort of an ‘Okay’ or ‘Yes.’ I find this disgusting. I told him that I did not like it, but he kept at it.

The truth is, I really liked the guy. Yet, he kept on annoying me. He’d always snap pictures with girls, snapshots that showed him touching them in inappropriate places. We had an agreement, that we could date as many girls as we wanted, but we would be each other’s only guy. But the pictures disturbed me. And he never seemed interested in knowing anything about me. He never asked me any questions. I was the one always initiating our conversations.

Reacting to all this, I had deleted his number several times, only to find myself adding him back. I told friends about him and they all told me one thing. RUN. They said he was playing me and I would only end up being hurt. They also sneered about him not being worth the hassle because they didn’t think he was good looking. But he was gorgeous to me. I guess the juju that was used on me is quite strong. There was a time I decided not to send him a message for weeks. He wasn’t perturbed by that; he didn’t even bother sending me any message. I just had to eat the humble pie and sent him a message.

And then something happened very recently.

He said he was finally through with his examinations and was home in Warri. By this time, our relationship had gotten very strained, with me seeking his online company and him not giving enough of it.

It seemed as though, on that Sunday, I was looking for something definite, something to tell me to go to hell. I needed to be yanked off my feet and beaten back to earth. I needed to know that I had been in love with the wrong person.

So, that Sunday afternoon, I was asleep and then, I woke up with a start. And I decided to write a poem about how I felt. I did not edit it. I bared my feelings. Then I sent him a message on BBM and told him I had a poem for him. My plan was to send it to him and delete him. But I waited, long enough for him to respond that he was happy with the poem.

I felt hope flutter in my heart. I eased my thumb off the delete button. And then, I asked him why he refused to pick my calls or reply my messages recently. He replied with ‘Nothing’. I asked him when we would be able to meet. He said the following weekend, that he would come over to spend three days. He said he didn’t have the money to pay for transport. Naturally, I was expected to send him the money.

When I asked my friends if it was ideal to send him money, they asked me where he was from. I told them “Warri”. They said I should run, that Warri guys are bad, and that they sense bad news. They told me to tell him to use his money as fare to Abuja, and that I would refund him back. When I told Sly this, he would have none of it. He expressly told me he wouldn’t be coming anymore. I did not want to let this opportunity slide, because I really wanted to see him; I needed to know where I stood with him. I needed to know if what I felt was real. I needed to confirm if my suspicions were right. I needed something to make me forget him. He was playing with my heart and I did not like it.

So, I asked him if 5k would be enough to bring him to Abuja. He said yes. So, I sent him 5k the following Wednesday and he confirmed receipt. Then I asked him the name of the bus he would be boarding to Abuja. He said “G.O. Agofure”. I laughed when I read the message. It was then that I started suspecting that maybe I had just been scammed. I actually gave him the avoidance of doubt, but it dawned on me that maybe I had been scammed by a Warri boy. The reason I laughed was due to the fact that I served in Bayelsa State around 2010/2011 and G.O. Agofure in Ughelli in that time did not go to Abuja. The transport company only had Lagos and some parts of the South-South in its route. I told him that I never knew Agofure had started going to Abuja. He said things had changed. I wondered just how much things had changed in four years, bearing in mind that I had never seen any G.O. Agofure park in Abuja.

Anyway, on Thursday afternoon, I sent Sly a message. And this is how the conversation went:

Me: How far?

Sly: Not fine

Me: What happened?

Sly: I went to the ATM to withdraw the money to come tomorrow, and the ATM debited my account and did not pay me.

This is like the longest message he had ever sent to me.

Me: Hmmm. So, what are you going to do now?

Sly: I am going to the bank to rectify the problem.

Like an hour later…

Me: How far?

Sly: I have gone and they send I should go home and they would send me alert.

Me: Are you still coming tomorrow?

Sly: Ya

Me: So have you gotten the money yet?

Sly: No

ME: So, how are you going to come? That was why I said you should use your money to come and I would reimburse you.

Sly: Why are you so worried?

Me: You know I want to see you and I thought this would be our opportunity

Sly: Don’t worry

Some hours later…

Me: Are you coming?

Me: How far?

That was the last message I sent to him on Thursday night on BBM. He did not reply. I called him twice and he did not pick. Prior to that moment, I had already told my friends that I had been scammed, and they all had a good laugh about it.

On Friday morning, I expected a message from him asking me for directions. I got no such message from him. I sent him a message by 7 a.m. and he did not reply, but he was online because he was listening to music and I could see the updates on BBM. When I got to work, I called him and he did not pick. In fact, I called him about ten times and he did not pick. Till now, he has not called me back.

Am I devastated? I really don’t know. I am actually pained right now. In fact, I am thinking of doing bad things to him. Five grand is actually nothing to me. Well, it is something; at least I know I can get five guys to come to my house with it by just paying their transport. The reason I am pained and writing this is because he wasted my time. I don’t even know if anything he told me was true. Was he ever into guys? Did he ever have a boyfriend? Was he playing me all along? He knew I liked him so much; I made no secret about my feelings. I actually used the L word on him; he is the first person I’ve ever used the word on. For goodness sake, I just got me some condoms ready to ride that ass. I have not had sex before, but I was willing to have it with him. To say the truth he is the only guy I have ever thought of going all the way with.

Now, I don’t think if I will be able to meet any guy again. I decided to send him a strongly-worded message on whatsapp. And then I proceeded to block him, delete him from BBM, unfollow him on Instagram, removed him from Facebook, deleted his number and removed him from Skype. I don’t know if I will ever trust a gay guy again. The issue is that the guys I like might not like me, while the ones I don’t like are the ones that are on my neck. I don’t want to settle for anything less by being with just anybody.

Who knows, maybe this is a sign.

The truth of the matter is that no matter how painful it is, deep within me, I feel relieved. It is as if a burden has been lifted. The kind of feelings you get when you suspect something wrong but you are not sure and you are afraid that you might be right, the when you confirm, you cry, then you start laughing. Unfortunately, it cost me 5k to confirm that I had just been played by a Warri guy. I thought I was smart, but I met someone that was smarter and more patient than I was.

Written by Sinnex

162 thoughts on “THAT WARRI GUY

  1. People dream about Trey Songs in this blog, others clamour for a body like his.

    What is it about him? Which soap does he use to bath? Why can’t it be me?

    Jealous mode activated.

      • A-non,

        Lol. Am okay hun. How have you been?

        I dunno what else to say to him o, he saw the hand writing on the wall and decided to blame it on the devil. Am sure even the devil will be having a good laugh.

        Sinnex,

        Sorry hun, but I don’t pity you.

        Personally, I don’t think this is a sign. There’s love out there if you believe in it but you may not find it with the ideal/perfect man unless you mould him yourself. Take a chance with those interested in you, you might just strike gold in the strangest place. Life is too short to be lived with so much restrictions and regrets. Dare to make your own music and you will be surprised at the melody broken chords can produce.

        Like DM would say, the traditional/organic way of meeting people still remains the best. Leave your comfort zone, go to sit outs, parties, visits etc, and keep an open mind. You may just find your man.

      • Cultivate a good circle of friends and go out with them in a group often and also get involved with social activities; charity, tennis, cycling club, tennis club, book club etc. You will keep meeting guys organically.

        Love anuro na internet oooo!

      • Says who, Dennis? in the same way Sinnex went online to look for love, is that not the way some other person is doing the same? The internet is infested with people looking for the quick fix of sex, yes. But there are people also there, hoping to get something more.

      • ‘Dare to make your own music and you will be surprised at the melody broken chords can produce.’

        @enigmous,powerful quote there. Am gonna run with this.

      • Do you know what put me off on this post? The part when the ignoramus said that 5k will be enough to get 5 boys to his house. If you look past the inhumanity of that statement you’d see a guy who sees the other 5 guys that he would have invited as people who have no choice. Ive been fighting the urge to comment because all I do here is read and observe. But that guy deserves any thing negative that comes his way. Your type will never find true love. Because you don’t regard others. You will continually meet warri guys because that’s what you deserve. Your type makes us all look desperate. Can you give a girl 1k after coming from her house to yours just for the sex? Smh. It’s the guys that come to you I should Chanel this bitterness to not you Buh you’re definitely not gon find love. I hope whoever dropped this post reads this.

      • Mimi, you failed to give us an idea of an amount that will be considerate. As in how much will a guy give to find love and ward off warri guys?

      • @Mimi

        I am supposed to care because….?

        I am sure you are one of those guys I spoke about. You believe that when someone invites you over, the person is inviting you because of sex. Even if it is sex the person is inviting you over for, are you a prostitute that would be expected to be paid for something you both enjoyed.

        I am sure you did not read my post to understand it. You just read it in order to join the fray…

        For your information the 5k for 5 people was just a metaphorical statement. I was just using it to make a point. It also means that it would have just cost 1k to invite someone over from my environ. It is not as if I intended to invite 5 of them over at the same time and pay them 5k after the act.

  2. Well! Well!! Seems u n I happened to tk d same course (Scam 419). Mine happened to b a hausa dude in abj who made me blive I was gonna hv d best tym of my life. Parted wif my cool 10k and neva saw him arrive benin.
    In my case, there were no friends to warn me.

  3. Sinnex I hate to kick the wounded but I will just yank off the bandaid! You were very naive and yes he scammed you.

    1. Never ever send someone money to come visit you because they will collect the money and not come. It has happened to me SEVERALLY. I insist that you borrow money from someone and come and I will reinburse you.

    2. When someone doesnt make time for you he is just not into you. Nobody is too busy for the people they like and care about. There are people on my BBM that i barely talk to and they believe I am too busy to chat often, but there are people on the same BBM that i talk to morning and evening. Its just about who you are into.

    3. You should thank whatever it is that you worship because I can bet you that this guy would have stolen stuff from your house when he comes or arranged Kito size 32 for you in Abuja. Its good he did not come hun.

    4. As a gay man in Nigeria, your best friend is your instincts. Dont let your dick reason for you, if something doesnt feel right do not go ahead with it. Its way better that your instincts turned out wrong and you are safe than they were right and you ignored them.

    • Thanx Dennis..no one is ever “too” busy. I tell that to people I don’t like.
      And you said size 32 Kito? How about an over sized one like 50..

    • Ha Dennis, though I took on a softer approach but I couldn’t agree less with your submission.

      We all have to learn to ‘wisen’ up otherwise the consequences can be devastating…

  4. @Simnex, I suggest you consider that N5k a small price for something that might have snowballed into something worse.

    Consider this scenario: he visits Abuja, fans the embers of your emotion, continues to ask you for money albeit occasionally, keeps you warm in bed as often as you both can manage and eventually blackmails.

    I maybe wrong, but it could happen.

    At 26, I think you have your life ahead. I may be 4 years older than you are and relatively inexperienced with regards to men and love but I know that if I were to be 26 again I would have more fun than I did. I was so hooked to building my career that nothing else mattered and though it may have paid off and currently allows me sit on a seat that most of my mates would only dream of seating on in 10years from now, I feel like I missed out on stuff.

    So Sinnex, learn the lesson that fate has thought wise to teach you, make the adjustments required but don’t say no to men and love.

    Live, Laugh, Love

    *bear hug*

  5. Uh oh! Sorry about that, Sinnex. I seriously keep wondering why some gay guys thrive on either sponging off others or scamming them. That’s just some shit I can’t do

  6. Hahahahahhahahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂… They don eat you mugu. .
    Lmfao….No wonder you’re so bitter
    The dude is a marketer.. I can’t believe people actually have the time to be waiting for replies… You’ll get kicked to the curb at any slightest suspicion of foul play. Thats one of the down sides of being a late bloomer. When you haven’t really been in the gayosphere, you can fall victim to such. Never sent money to anyone and will never do. Even if you’re a student, you should have some pocket money to use for the visit, which I’ll reimburse you when you come. Gbachaa Anya GI(shine your eye).

    And news flash– Most people you like won’t like you back, and the people you don’t give a damn about are the ones ready to die for you. Thats life.. Its not fair..

    • Downsides to being a late bloomer ke??? I am a late bloomer and I think we are the most cautious in the gaybourhood. So cautious to the point of boring. But u av seen that meme na. The one where a tingly sensation follows seeing sum1 u like??? It happens sometimes

      • Lol.. I made an honest comment.
        Chizzy attacks people’s write up without any justification whatsoever. He reads with the aim to bully and not to understand.
        If you don’t see the difference in that, then I have nothing more to say to you.

      • Sinnex, you are not being fair to Max by comparing him with Chizzie. They are not the same please. Max has license to wag his mouth but chizzie hasn’t. Chizzie is like an orphan on kd but Max has the support of her majesty the Queen of KD to as she wishes.

    • “Most people you like won’t like you back, and the people you don’t give a damn about are the ones ready to die for you. Thats life.. Its not fair”

      Only reasonable thing I could pick out! From what has being recently routinely “bitter rants”

  7. Dear sinnex..it is common dear.. and u sound a lot like me, apart from de sex thing.
    Well u should have at least, gotten some nude pictures.. to help ur vaselin hands at night..ask justjames for details… nude pix b4 sending Tfare,so tht u don’t lose out entirely..

  8. May D is slim??? I guess I am slim not skinny nigbayen. *snorts*
    Hian!!! The “Use ur own money and come. I’ll reimburse u on ur arrival…” trick??? My folks av scammed me with this technique soooo many times, I cannot fall again. That said, I cannot understand why ppl will travel to another state solely because of prick. If I am in the area, its all good. I swear, even if I were offered my fares, I would still cook up an excuse. Prick is important, but not that important. You better play local league.

    Send him a strongly worded mssg??? You’d better not. Delete him from ur life n mind as quietly as he came in. Besides it wud make u sound like u r sulking and pained.

    You sef. Bombarding a human being with all those calls. Eishhhh!!!

    • But you are slim na which is very sexy! People like you are easy to twist and turn in bed na and can easily change positions without skipping rhythm unlike some people that you will need a crane to even put them on the bed in the first place!

    • Everybody get iim own definition of love Dennis.

      But when you don see picture, come dey talk to am for phone regularly and still come dey chat and ping everyday, emotions no suppose hard to enter naa.

      At least na so I see am.

      • But he said the guy was not chatty na, that he usually reaponded with a “K” or “Ya”. Where the love pass enter na bros?

      • @Sinnex abeg come answer Brother Dennis.

        I don answer the one wey I fit answer. The thing don dey turn JAMB question abeg.

        @Dennis, I have sent for Sinnex, he’ll be here in a bit. Tea or coffee while you wait?

    • Dennis Macaulay!!! REALLY??? Please, pinky how does one pass ‘brain waking’ pills to DM? Asking how one falls in love without seeing. You sure say u dey read novels b4 b4?

      • Trysthan you are begining to condescend, but because i like you (a lot) i will let it slide.

        I was asking in the context of this article; their communication was one sided, the guy rarely called him, he said theu did not have much to talk about, bbm chats were curt and all. The communication was poor, how does love blossom in that kind of situation? I am very curious

      • Hian!!! Bee in.ur bonnet??? Ok. Lemme use this analogy. Any reason for Chizzie to be obsessively infatuated with u when u BARELY notice him??? Right. I thot so. There are somethings we can’t just explain in this life. Falling in love is one of them.
        Still take those pills when Pinky sends em

    • have you not heard of love at first sight…I don’t even know if what I felt was ‘lust’, ‘infatuation’ or ‘love’…all I know is that I felt something. Haba, there are some people that when you see their messages you just start smiling, or when you hear their voice you become happy. What have you been doing since~? I am a late bloomer na, I am not supposed to be telling you what you are supposed to know..

  9. This disappointment is a classic example of a blessing in disguise. That Sly sounded so much like bad news, that it astounds me that Sinnex had to wait till the 5grand episode before his eyes opened. It’s not even like the Sly tried hard to bewitch you. He was SO clearly not into you. Na your konji cause am. Anyway, I believe had the guy actually made that trip, this story would be a very different one, and not entirely with a happy ending.

  10. No offence but, this is a whole bunch of crap, who loves someone they’ve not met…..there’s a fine line between infatuation and love, this write up looks like something pre pubercent teenager wrote, are you kidding me with this bull???……..what if he came and something bad happened, even when your friends adviced you to end it?, the jazz used on you was strong???, really queen????……….good god girl get’a grip. I’m was really disappointed when I saw who d writer was, I actually expected better. Then again I know not every one is super rational like myself, so what do I know.

      • Noooooo, you know I have an extremely rational take on love and relationships, and here’s someone claiming heartbreak and devastation from someone they never met, its just silly.

    • You were disappointed??? I may av bin b4 yesterday but after seeing his need to marry two names cos of a similar thinking pattern, I wasn’t any more. That said, he is allowed to fall as many times. He should sha not make d same mistakes

      Ehen!!! Sinnex, don’t u dare not fall in love bcos of this o…oh wait, you will soon be an MGM abi? Carry on pls.

    • First thing first, I am not a girl. I consider it offensive to be referred to as one. If you love being called a bitch or a girl good for you….

      Whether you are disappointed or not doesn’t make a difference. I am also sure you missed the part where I said he was the second guy and the first gay guy I was really into. Unfortunately, It did not turn out well. I believe everyone should be given the avoidance of doubt, you don’t start judging people. I saw the signs, yes…I am sure you are the kind that only think about sex…yet, you will come and start preaching about same sex marriage and relationship…

      You also sound like one that is so perfect, or you have created the online profile of being so good….that is actually good…enjoy your life and your perfection. I did not come here to buy land….

  11. I’m surprised that the writer is Sinnex because it was Posh-like. Very silly… Guys can spend foolishly on other guys but if you check they haven’t sent a penny to their parents since they started earning money. Please one way to make up for this is to keep sending money to your Mum regularly.

      • @Max, why you dey laugh?

        I was wondering how Sinnex’s folks got into the equation or did I miss a line in his post?

    • My daddy just threw the sucker punch…you are right sha….

      Like I said, 5k is not big a deal…who says I don’t send money to my family…

      I was very silly…obviously..that’s why It is not going to happen again

      • It’s not advisable to send money to someone to use as t fare to visit you. Its a bad sign though not in all cases. If someone doesn’t give a hoot about you my dear just erase him from your memory. Well, I’m sure you have learnt some lessons. At least you will let your head do the thinking next time and not your heart.

    • I was surprised that Sinnex wrote it too… I thought it was ‘someone else’ (that we all know rides on different horses) that wrote it.

      I always make sure my mothers money is never affected by pleasure.

      Keep preaching the truth Gad.. Keep preaching it!

  12. I agree you should thank your stars all you lost is 5000 naira. This guy sounds like bad news.
    However, I want to address this idea, that keeps coming up here, of sex being a bad thing or of full grown men declaring with pride that they’ve not had sex and somehow expecting applause.
    I think the behaviour stems from not fully accepting you are gay, believing gay sex is dirty and engaging in it would somehow finally make you a full member. So you hold out thinking “Yes I am gay, but not quite. I haven’t done it yet.”
    You may also be buying into the bullshit idea of virginity which was a concept created by men to keep women in check, make them a possession and ensure every fruit of the womb is theirs. But you are a man, you have no hymen and frankly, no one cares where your dick has been or what has been inside you.
    Having sex doesn’t make you a bad person nor does it make you good. It is a natural act that comes from a normal urge that has to be filled. It is high time we stop this attitude of dirty sex or slutty this and that. They were started by men to subjugate women and now we’re importing it.
    You’ve had all the guys around you but never ‘really’ liked any of them. Yet you fall inexplicably for this oaf who by majority decision is not fine. Could it be the reason is because he is far away and unreachable and by that can help you perpetuate your ‘no sex’ agenda.
    When it comes to sex my unsolicited advice is ‘whatever floats your boat, just play it safe.’
    And if you think that holding out this long will make the sun dance, the heavens fall, the earth shake, the moon shatter and the stars spell out your name when you eventually do it, you will be disappointed because with sex like everything else, practice makes perfect.

      • Of course it sex Pinky! I always expect u to thoroughly enjoy it. Dimkpa! Holding out doesn’t necessarily mean that u have not fully accepted urself! Sex actually means a lot more to some ppl than just stripping and doing the bang bang dance! I ve total respect and love for unperturbed slutty men! But I ve never really been able to bring myself to that level because I’m sacred I would lose control and just become this person who exchange body fluids with ppl and feel nofin. Sex should mean more! Then there is the issue of all manner of disease floating around, that’s even one of the major reasons why I held out till I was almost 30 b4 throwing in the towel and just embrace my self. Sex means more. They should be something more than the other guy just being gay and wanting me to fuck them.

    • Oga, as far as I am concerned, sex is sacred. I can’t have sex with someone I don’t like. Hell, it is better for me to have sex with someone I like and doesn’t like me than vice versa.

      You know we are all different, right?
      You also know we all have different ideals about life?
      You also know that not everyone likes sex?

      If I tell you that I have made out with guys and did not like it, what will you do?

      If I tell you that giving bj tastes like licking rubber what would you say?

      If I tell you that the lips of a guy tastes like rubber, wetin you go talk?

      Guy, I have been close to having sex with different guys but I just did not like it. There are some guys that when they touch me, I get freaked out.

      I don’t know how to explain it…my idea of sex is so different from what happens.

      I keep on saying that being gay is not all about having sex. What about friendship? Companionship nko? How can I have sex with someone that is not my friend.

      Maybe I am idealistic, maybe not. Maybe I am a fool, maybe not…but I won’t have sex with someone that I don’t like.

      If it takes me being a gay virgin for life, let it be…

      I have never looked down on people that have sex, in fact I love listening to my friend’s sexcapades…so, i don’t know where or how you got your faulty perception that being a virgin is like a trophy to me…

      You can’t use a few lines to judge someone’s life…I just gave an experience…this is not my life’s story…

      • @Sinnex, you’re not alone! There truly are many like you, many who believe that sex is something beautiful and sacred and not some mere physical release. Whenever I have sex with someone am in love with, the feeling is indescribable while when i have it with a random dude, its just mechanical motions. We are all built differently, whether gay or str8, find what works for you and stick to it! Apologise to no one for being you cos its your right! being gay is a lot more than sex, it goes much much deeper than you often realise and impacts very many aspects of your personality …

      • I apologise if it seems I made assumptions about you based on the experience. I tried to avoid doing that by using the words ‘I think’ or ‘you may’ which leave room for the fact that they may not be the case.
        However on reading your reply, I can’t help but wonder if I did in fact hit the mark. To be honest these sound like excuses you’ve come up with to justify your actions.
        Sex is not sacred, never has been and never will be. You don’t get additional goodness points for not having sex. Sacred means something has been dedicated to a deity or held with reverence for a particular purpose. Sex is a body function which lesser animals than man also engage in for pleasure. It is that simple. The sex is sacred myth is borne out of moral teachings inspired by misogyny or religion. The result is feeling guilty because of years of indoctrination for doing aomething that is as natural as breathing. I wonder also if you consider masturbation sacred as well.
        It is curious to me that you can make out with guys but then stop at penetration. That doesn’t appear like not liking the person, it seems more like avoiding penetration for whatever reason you may have. Which is what I think you should try to figure out. I think it is all in your head. Nigerian guys have an arguably international reputation for hotness and you are in their midst and have not liked one. Is it Jesus you’re waiting for?
        As for rubber taste no one’s skin is made of ice cream. If you’ve looked at a guy and admired his physique, naturally if the opportunity presents itself you want to touch it, kiss it, suck whatever and do whatever. It is not the taste that is important here. Sex is also about give and take, if you lick his ‘rubber’ it gives him pleasure and he will also lick your rubber and please you likewise.
        Sex is just that sex. Another body function like breathing and eating. I doubt consider those sacred as well.
        You know what, I say these things because I have been there, you haven’t even come close to my warped attitude to sex in days gone by. In fact when the movie ’40 year old virgin’ was made, I watched it expecting to see the main character looking like I would in the future. But I’ve realised it is all rubbish. I count those years as wasted. Life is meant to beexperienced and sex is one of the more pleasurable aspects of that experience. Don’t short change yourself trying to aspire to an ideal which the people that sold it to you don’t even practice themselves.
        Enough said.

      • “Nigerian guys have an arguably international reputation for hotness and you are in their midst and have not liked one….”

        @Dimpka, maybe he likes guys from another race. It is allowed…. #Justsaying

    • No. I do not agree. While when I hear of guys who havent had sex in years, I feel like a slut, I do not think its because they are not accepting of the fact that they aint gay. People with principles still exist and that makes them all the more cherished. Let ppl still hope for their special ones. Life can be kind giving it to them, and life may be uncaring enough to not give them.

    • Gbam!! well said Dimkpa! sex is a basic human need just as sexuality is an inseparable part of who we are. Denying this fact is utter deceit and falsehood …

  13. Not that Warri Guys are Bad,But hypothetical speaking…Trust ur Instinct,Don’t be fool by what you feel. Nobody is Gold”So many fishes in the River.

  14. @Sinnex, so this is the “kito story” you’ve been moaning and whining as well as threatening to tear Pinky’s weavon over? ****pulls back long luxuriant hair in a tight bun and checks lipstick in the mirror for the umpteenth time**** … too early in the day for sarcasm, …..

    • I think you mistake me for someone else…me? moaning and whining? That’s weird….

      I was actually expecting a different story…

      • ***FacePalm***, i think it was TeflonDon who was moaning and whining, but seeing as you both reason so much alike, i must have kinda sorta started to mix you both up – my bad!

      • So what if we reason alike?
        Biko!
        When I saw all the “LMaO” “RFLMaO” “LOL’s”

        I just shoke my head… Look at this Misguided lot. What was so funny about Khaleesi’s statement…

        @Khaleesi sorry to burst your bubbles darling! But yes my story is almost the same… And I don’t expect you to be intrigued(the story is meant to teach someone out there to learn from someone else’s pain. To not fall a victim. It’s not meant to satisfy yall thirsty lot) because we have decided to be real with our stories and not decided to add little ‘spicies’ (called lies) to make the story all that “WooW”

        We say it as it is… We like to be ‘Real’ even with the most irrelevant of things, Something that cant be associated with a lot of people on here.

      • @Teflondon, blah blah blah, practice your bleating 30mins a day, ventilate your lungs #BBMTalkToTheHandSmiley

    • Khaleesi u are no where near being wrong with ur line of thought. I was like “phew! Teflondon is finally getting his shine on Kd, no more emotional outbursts”, then I was surprise to see it was sinnex. They sure reason alike.

  15. Warri, Benin, Delta – Edo axis ****shudders in deep fear*** the horror stories i’ve heard about the gays in that zone …. you’re lucky you only lost 5k and nothing else … you got off really lightly …

  16. in our world,this is the drama which we face,we re hunted by non likes nd we also hunt ourselves,where does our safety lie on,i dont know,it’s one of the pain.of being gay

  17. This story only buttress the fact that we have a lot in common..
    Am 26years just like you, I served in Bayelsa 10/11, I like me guys younger also.. Just like you. We are made from the same cloth of ‘realist ideology’
    We see things from almost the same perspective… Although when it comes to sex.. We are TOTALLY different! Sex is good, sex is fun, sex is meant to be enjoyed (but I won’t talk about my sex life here)
    Just be a celibate.. All this your likes and dislikes.. Am very scared for you o! Lol or maybe your just tad too principled.. Nways it’s what you want that matters.. Whatever rocks your boat!
    That said.
    You are my guy but I just have to be factual with you:..
    Words can’t discribe how I felt when I read through the story and then saw it was you that wrote it… To be honest everything about the article sceamed Max. (The deillusion of him being the supreme being and finds having sex with mere mortals absolutely impossible!) I mean how could you be so Gullible! I was almost in tears to find out you wrote this… All the signs were there for you to back out. Even a 12 year old would have envisage what was coming…
    I am actually shocked at this Article and your Myopic thinking. It was very glaring that the guy wasn’t either into you or was being fake about EVERYTHING he told you… but then I read a statement of you being a late bloomer but still that shouldn’t be an excuse…
    Anyways the one little positive I took from this aritcle to console myself is your ‘stance on being real’
    However irrelevant this might sound the fact that you didn’t say you sent the guy 50k or 60k just to justify your rants.. Or make your story more depressing, Is something to be admired! (something I think a few personnel on here should also follow suit)
    Sinnex you just have to calm on your expectations! Just then, maybe you will finally get a very deserving guy.

    One last one for you sinnex!
    I read through the comments and I see all the flaks and shades you are getting… Some well deserved and most vitriolious but I’ll tell you this.. You should be happy.. People hate what they feel threathened by. What they can’t comprehend (sounds familiar anyone, LGBT) your realness through views and statements is something they can’t comprehend and accept. Humans are naturally known to want to protect there habitat.. As it is known that some people live on here… They feel threatened anytime you try to invade and dominate their natural habitat.

    Keep being you! keep being real!!
    You don’t have to reply every comment directed at you. Don’t let them trick you into joining #TeamAssKissers and #TeamButtLickers

    • “(The deillusion of him being the supreme being and finds having sex with mere mortals absolutely impossible!) ” 😂😂😂😂
      Its “delusion ” by the way. I was glad to see it was written by your doppel ganger. Couldn’t help but laugh at how “similar” you guys are.
      *Tongue out*😛😛😛😛😛

    • Seriously, this is getting stale. You keep claiming there is a cabal and you always keep trying to take jabs at them, It’s not really an admirable quality.
      You said you and sinnex are alike but yet you thought this was initially written by max. So if you found this piece similar to your character, does that make you kind of like max? The one person your mind initially told you wrote this?
      You’re a smart guy, it shows but this dog with a bone vendetta belittles you.

      • Colossus you miss understand some of my statements (just as how most people on here do) I never said this article was like me… I said the person that wrote it we have a lot in common… I did not associate myself with the article itself but the writer… As he revealed some facts about himself..
        However!
        I’ll take the positive from your comments.. So for now I won’t draw any issues with you. As I know also you are very smart (from your previous comments on the blog)

        **As In your own words**
        I don’t want to be seen like a ‘dog with a bone vendetta’

      • Quick question, Tef. At what point did you think from the article that you had some things in common with the writer? When you thought it was Max writing it or Sinnex? *waiting with breathless anticipation for reply*

    • I swear, I choked and puked in my cup of garri. What is this? We already get the picture. You + Sinnex, soulmates, star crossed, match made in heaven, sharing one heart & brain (its not difficult to see who is getting the lion’s piece though). I would av just died if u and him were sex unfreaks.

      Pinky, u for just fast track this brother’s application process jare. If only to spare us this sappy “I’m REALLY into u” comments.

      ***goes back to proof reading***
      ‘we would’ 2 ‘we will’; ‘phrase’ to ‘phase’, ‘miss understand’ – ‘mr wisdom’……..

      • My dear, since they told me I don’t know how to critique o. I’ve not even reached levels where I can determine whether the comments dey make brain. I’m still stuck at the ‘failed spellings’ level. It is now I appreciate the cross Our Lord bore to Calvary ooooo

    • I can make an exception. I am so surprise that we served in the same place, same age…what else do I need…

      I think I am in love…

      When are you fixing the date biko…bills on you.

      • **blushing**
        I think am in love also!

        Let’s just meet already..
        It’s a date!
        I’ll get through on PP to do the needful.
        And
        **Yes yes bills on me.. I am accustomed to that**

    • Hahahhahaha hahahhahaha chai chai chai in Mama peace voice.. this house din scatter… abeg which team have u classified me Into jare…make I buy de uniform… hhhahahah

  18. Some people ehn. Well most ve been there before – we’ve liked people to the point we overlook signs of disaster/fault.
    Good laugh on a hot Thursday noon.

  19. I gotta say this article ended up disappointing me, the suspense of ‘then something happened…’ kept making me race through for the crescendo. Honestly I was expecting that warri nigga to come to Abuja and get you thoroughly beaten up warri-style..

      • You would have loved that.. Init?

        Later you will be “moaning” and “crying” how No one should call you bitter and compare you with Chizzie

      • See what the bullied effeminate weakling is vomiting from his mouth. Barely a week ago some sentimentals were advocating for sympathy and support for him. I’m sure you all are seeing the mask behind Max.

    • Actually I agree with you… He created some kinda suspense that wasn’t justified through out the rest of the article.. But whats important is that he passed across a lesson that I HOPE someone reading it learns from

      LMAO!!!
      Warri style beating?

      Kdians Ehn! Yall won’t kill me!

  20. I have taken my time to read all the comments and replied some. I have no regrets actually. If you know my type of person, you’d know that I don’t really care. I don’t need to pretend because I have created one online personality. I knew what was going to come by posting this story.

    Those who think I posted this story because I needed pity must be high on something. I don’t need anyone’s pity. If I needed pity, this would be the last place I’d get one.

    Now, I am not here to attack anyone, but when I read some comments, I couldn’t help but laugh. One said he never expected Sinnex to do such a thing, another one said I was a late bloomer….please, when does not having sex make one less gay than the other? I am really confused.

    The one that took me aback was the one that said I was bitter because of my experience…for real? So because I did not agree with you goons, you think me bitter. I am surprised actually. For what is worth, this episode did not happen long ago ooo…as in, it is not even up to a week that it happened.

    I decided to share my story because I know for a fact that there is someone out there that would learn from my case. It is better for me to make a mistake and learn from it, than for to be thinking..”why if”…some guys are soooooo uptight and boring. I hate boring people. Maybe that’s why I keep on meeting the wrong set of people.

    Reading through the comments here and on Kitodiaries in general, I can see that I have a glimpse of the person behind the moniker…

    Some people have created a fake online profile and they have become a god who think they are above mistake. Can anyone tell me truthfully that they have not been in this same position, except, maybe the part of sending money…

    I am the kind of person that do not judge people, maybe that’s why I made the mistake…

    The reason why I am better than some people here and will continue to be better than them is because I knew I made a mistake, I did not hide it-that is what some people would have done-I shared my story…I did not allow pride to take the better part of me.

    I couldn’t reply some comments because they were just unnecessary. Some people do not see reason, even when you put needle in their eyes….

    Now, we are all different….

    OAN-Pinky, where do you get your pictures from? The guy in the picture reminds me of Sly oooo….maybe minus the chest hair and the beards…there’s something about the guy that gives me a thrill……

      • “…‘when your heart gets torn to shreds by Sly the ‘sly’ warri dude’…” ROTFLMAO. Uncle sir, u cray

    • The fact that you made this vapid speech means that you care. You could’ve just lived out the rest of this day without batting an eye. You had to condescend again, you just had to, about “being better than some people here”..
      Get off your high plastic horse and see you’re not as good as you think. Some people didn’t know it was you because you often present yourself as a well learned person. The person in that story right there is a bimbo.. Fooled by a low life.. Its the biggest goofing ever, with signs and all. So don’t be surprised they didn’t think it was you.. Seeing as you always try to establish how high your rank is.
      And ” Late bloomer ” means that you started exploring your sexuality late. Has nothing to do with sex.

      • Wow! Max! Just wow!
        I am speechless… I mean there are certain levels of feelings

        Happiness level
        Sadness level
        Bitterness level
        Chizzie level
        And now this
        Max level
        In that order.
        Haba! Biko.. Your comment is so uncalled for!
        This is not some kind of battle field. I can’t wait for Gad to get in here… (Probably explain to me) What could be the reason for such vitriolous comments?! Ok we do throw shades at each other every now and then.. Even I know the importance of towing a certian (Humanly acceptable) limits in my shades. This is just uncalled for…
        We should know the limits please.

        You don’t have to rub salt on a wounded soldier that is trying to put his personal life out there so someone can learn from it. Forget all the shades we throw at it eachother.. We are bounded by a common goal (we are in a community, LGBT) we can say we brother if you like.. And Sinnex is one of us…
        I am shamed of your comments.. And I doubt even the “Evil” Chizzie would have stooped this low.
        I demand you apologize immediately for your vitriolic comments.

        And to think I was a few days ago.. Emotional for your plight of being the “Gurly” guy. I am stupefied and disappointed I showed you any form of remorse. With this comment I just saw.. You do not deserve it.

      • @Max, I think you need to just stop talking. You are beginning to make less sense with your posts.

        Me, condescend, plastic horse, not good as I think….guy, are you sure you are normal?

        As in, are you sure you have been reading my comments?

        You are confusing me with someone or something else oooo

        Just because I don’t agree with somethings I see or read, that doesn’t make me condescending.

        When @Gad mentioned that you had self esteem issues, I thought he was just being petty…..

        *In Gad’s Voice* What happened to you? Were you molested as a child?

        See, you don’t get it, for someone to accept that he made a mistake, I think the person deserves a round of applause-not that I need anyone from your likes. Most people don’t accept that they have done something wrong.

        When someone is foolishly or stupidly in love/lust/infatuation what does it mean?

        *in Teflondon’s voice* Are you sure it is not that time of the month?

        There is something you don’t get, there are some mistakes you just have to make so as to make you learn. The signs were there, I accept…I did not add or remove anything in my post, I did not garnish my story to make it seem like I was played…I told it the way it happened….no matter how innocent or gullible I seemed. My post is obviously not for people like you. You are perfect and cannot make mistakes. My post is for the guy next door, the guy that doesn’t know how to explore his sexuality…or maybe there is a young chap or a not so young chap that is out there, who might be experiencing same thing.

        If it cost me 5k to make a mistake so as to someone out there not to experience it, why not…lemme be the fool for the sake of the general public….

      • Omg, did I hurt your feelings? Didn’t know you had one.. @Asslicker TEF, sew your food hole, its gonna get you into trouble one of these days.
        @Sinnex , youre just what I think you are, young and naive. You’re gonna get fooled again with your current attitude. You’re not the only one who writes or has written “real” stuff here, so stop throwing it around like some some of banner.

        Ya’ll should have an orgy, you three… Tef, Sin and your blog daddy. You all deserve each other.

      • Max,

        Give it a rest. It’s not always about you and you are beginning to sound off.

        Take a deep breath and go to sleep, when you wake up you would have forgotten about all these.

      • When Gad said Max needed to be tamed some days back.. I thought.. How could he say such to a fellow human?? You only say such about beasts and wild animals.
        I tot he was petty for saying that to you…

        But how right was he.. Really! He was spot on with his observations after all.

      • @Enigmous, how many times have you been called out on this blog?? My guess is zero. So don’t sit down and type stuff just because you can. that comment of his was about me and my comment in which I tried to be nice in. He still found a way to twist it. 90% of all the comments they make here involves mentioning Max.
        Try to be grounded about a situation before you comment.
        And as for you bootlicker, the ship of doom that will carry you is refueling..
        A word is enough for the wise(I know you’re not wise btw).

      • @Max,

        Zero guess? That’s so wrong. IMO, I do not think you have to respond every time you are being called out. Even if you feel the duty to respond, you can censor your diction. Using the same words you abuse others for all in the name of sarcasm doesn’t really score good for you.

        Trust me, the strength is not in showing who can curse more. The REAL strength is in looking the other way.

        Bless you bro, I don’t and I NEVER intend to fight.

    • You have spoken well… I do agree with you on everything you have said. At the end of the day.. What is important is that someone out there learns from this.. That’s why I think pinky should has she always done post more kito stories. It’s every important. I know a lot of “in the closet” people (secret visitors to this blog) who I think are novice.. They would want to see more stories like this so they don’t fall victim of this menacing-people-filled country called Nigeria.
      As for the so called “gods” of this blog you were referring to… I understand how you feel.. Bro. They always claim the ‘All knowing and mighty’ here.. Have such a ” Perfect ” life… You just have to ignore this people.. They cannot fall in love with people they have never seen (so the people that have falling in distance love are all fools right?) they should continue exuding fakeness.. Nways this is not about them.. It’s about you.. Let’s not allow them steal you shine.

      I hope you calm down on you expections of people tho.. Try to give one of the numerous people that loves you (obviously me, **bats eyelashes**) a chance and you might me be surprised maybe not immediately how happy your life would end up.

      Lastly about your question
      Ok now this is getting scary… Were you reading my mind?. I was thinking of all sorts of things I’ll like to do with the guy in the pics in my mind… I was having all types of feelings for the guy in the pic. PP clearly knows how to do her job well.. Am sure she does all types of research and that’s why her blog is clearly Thriving…. Kudos to you PP on that.

      • Guys chill.. Sinnex dear u will fall Mugu again,.. trust me.. or else u will lose out on de right person tht will genuinely need Tfare.. just work hard and have stash of cash lol.. also ask for nudes, so tht u won’t lose entirely.. ..

      • ROTFLMAO Oloshi ni bobo to n pe ni Simba yi. LOL I fucking saw what u did there and it killed me. LWTMB

        Max, ask DM how to manage unwanted attention tho. These brother(s) will be more difficult tho. They will be like barnacles to rock sha. Persevere. You shall overcome looool

  21. *strikes pose on pedestal*sinnex ntoor, when you peeps would be looking for what’s not looking for you,shebi guys have finished in abuja?wait 5k shouldn’t be enough for you to put up a post nau,u should have waited till he came over and make away with ur degree result.And the word u can get 4 guys to come to ur place by paying their transport I find that very insulting!next time listen to ur friends!@DM*rolls eyes*shebi those peeps on ur list don’t have delete button on their phone,mtchwee into ni into koor!

  22. Why are we all blaming sinnex for sending 5k transport fare? According to him, he saw the instincts, but chose not to act on them. That’s a kind of love. Have we not heard and known that love makes us do stupid funny things at times. I know heterosexual men who spend their fortunes on the girl they “want” to marry. Manny ended up not marrying these girls. Giving out stupidly, yes stupidly, shows the extent to which you want to make the loved to be happy and content, even when you are not ok. That’s sacrifice. God knew that the world would kill his son, but he still sent him to come die for us. I don’t think it’s real if we stick to “Scratch my back, i scratch yours”. Sometimes, we just need more than reasons and signs before finally “giving” up. The sermon could really be long but … another time.

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