What’s Change? Simply put, change is the turning of something old into something new or different. Change is the one thing in life that’s constant.
Feeble-minded persons find this hard to comprehend.
People change. I for one have changed. I’m different now. I’m anew. A lot of people hate this new me. PMs of friends read: I hate the new you.
Plain. Just like that. Well, what can I say… Tch!
You know that moment when you put into writing your state of mind at a particular time? I did so a few days ago.
“Don’t touch me or I’d kill you twice.
I’ve changed. Now, I’m not so nice.
I shall annihilate your body and corrode your soul.
Lick your blood-coated skin. Slice your tongue.”
“Boo, boo; I love you too.
I don’t really mean it, though; you think I do.
Four words. One syllable. So hard to say.”
“Take my hand and die.
I’d slit your throat and make you cry.
Fly. Like a wizard, I’d curse your soul.”
Okay, that’s as far as I could get. But, yea, put ’em in a song…bitter pop, whatever!
So, Kel… That’s where we left off the last time, right?
Well, there were cool things we both had in common: love for Beyoncé. E! DJ Xclusive. Spice TV. Sia’s Titanium track (then), and a few other things. Hmm.
Our love was made us (me especially) tipsy all the time. He never came to my place. I always went to his for make-out sessions. We didn’t have sex.
Then, I spoke to Malfoy, my online bestie about Kel. (Apparently he knew something(s) about Kel which I didn’t. And he didn’t disclose.)
Malfoy: Wait, you’re dating who?
Me: Kel… (I sent him a photo of Kel.)
Malfoy: Hmmm. Ok o.
Me: Any problem?
Malfoy: No, nothing. Have you told Daniel? (Daniel is the third member of our trio, and the oldest)
Me: I’ll tell him. Mehn! You know the guy is so fucking cute! Chai.
Malfoy made some noncommittal noises, but I didn’t bother to dig into his attitude.
So, Kel invited me over to his place on a boring afternoon. That mumu smile lit up my face. I hastily got dressed and headed out.
I got there, and we settled in to watch Chasing The Saturdays, formed British accents (which I could obviously do with better), and quickly got around to a romantic pillow fight. And playful wrestling. Then, foreplay.
It was intense. Ah, in his mind, the sex would be more intense. But, I’m like that; give you hope – make you dick rock hard – then, tell you ‘No’.
What saying no has caused me in this life ehn.
Well, it pissed him off. He didn’t speak to me. He practically ignored my presence the rest of my stay. And so, I left.
I had this conversation with Daniel after that.
Me: Kel is mad at me ’cause I denied him sex.
Daniel: I saw that coming. Dear, you can’t have a rosy relationship without sex. Sooner or later, you’d have to give it to him.
Me: People engage in relationships where sex isn’t a priority. People have sexless relationships!
Daniel: Which people? In what universe? You’ll have to do this if you want to save your relationship with him.
He was unresponsive to my Whatsapp messages, and then to those from 2go. It hurt. What was this sef? Hmm.
I read someone’s PM: Your virginity cannot earn you a BSc.
Like WTF! Ok. I’m acting like this because I’m a virgin? Damn. Shebi it’s sex? We will have it then.
I called his cell phone, he answered. I apologized, he accepted. I was going to make it up to him, I said. We were going to have sex.
A few days later, I went to see him. But, Lily! Grrrr! She was home. It apparently wasn’t a problem for him, but it was for me.
Kel: Go inside the room.
Lily: Which room? Ehn… Only me canno’ go inside.
Kel: Oya, stay in the parlor.
We went into his room. Minutes later, Lily waltzed in.
Lily: Kel, what are you doing? You’re touching someborri’s bumbum.
He sighed. “Shey you’ll eat indomie?”
She nodded her affirmation. He left the room to prepare the noodles for her. When he was done, she still wouldn’t eat and leave us in peace!
“Oya, play with my phone,” I said.
She took it. I reasoned that the phone wouldn’t follow me home in one piece. She still didn’t settle. She intercepted our kisses with a tap from her small hand.
“Kel, I’m going home,” I said in frustration.
But then, he took her out to her school’s playground, which was a stone throw from the house, and told the mistress of the Crèche School that he would come back for her. We got back to his place and resumed our business.
Ah, great foreplay that was leading somewhere. Passionate kissing (When two good kissers meet, you know what’s up!) Dick sucking. Ass fingering.
Then, he went out to the kitchen. Alas, he came back with Vegetable Oil! What’s Astroglide? Fuck it! Fuck KY Jelly too! This was going to be raw (and bland! :|).
It wasn’t enjoyable. Only the kisses, those were on-point. But the thrusting didn’t hit any spots.
And so, that was how I didn’t have the luxury of losing my virginity in a five star hotel room filled with the scent of Voluspa candles and roses.
Nah! I lost it on a regular mattress and a hard couch.
After that first time however, I felt happiness. The next day, I felt something else. Disconnection. Was it all about the sex? I asked myself. No. I felt something more, but at the same time I felt disconnected from this first, fresh, fucking-fine fella.
And that little voice inside said, “You’ve done it now. What’s next…”
I tried not to think. I just said, “Shut up.”
Written by Kizito