The Straight Guy Who Freaked Out After Accidentally Visiting Gay Bathhouse

o-GAY-BATHHOUSE-facebook“First off, I am happily married with a kid, and I’m completely naive,” begins one overcompensating Reddit user in a post filed in the “Today I Fucked Up” forum.

The anonymous family man’s chosen handle should be enough to tell where this story is headed — “not-gay-throwaway.”

So how exactly did he “fuck up?”

“I have back problems. Once and a while it gets really bad and sometimes the only way to relieve my pain is by using a Jacuzzi. I don’t own one. It was really killing me today. So I looked around for a spa with a Jacuzzi. I find one.”

Who doesn’t enjoy a nice rejuvenating soak? Innocent enough.

“Go in pay the money. Everything seems cool. Take off my clothes, put a towel around my waist, wash and get in the Jacuzzi. I’m feeling relaxed, and back is feeling much better. I decide to have a look around. There’s a sauna room. It’s completely dark, but I think, ‘Hey. I hate bright lights when I’m trying to relax.’”

You know who else hates bright lights? People hooking up in public spaces. Like a bathhouse. But OK, if he’s really as naive as he says he is, we’re going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“So I go into the sauna because I love the heat. Big mistake. It was dark for a reason. Some dude is giving another dude a blowjob while another guy was watching.”

And here’s where things starts to derail. OK, so you’ve found yourself in a gay bathhouse — we can certainly see how that would be a bit alarming. He does (or at least he says he does) what you’d next expect — foregoes a shower and hightails it out of there.

But what should have been the end of the story only to become a punchline after a few drinks is only the beginning.

Riddled with guilt, not-gay-throwaway doesn’t know how to cope with what he’s done. Which, if we’re keeping score by his record, is absolutely nothing.

He writes, “I’m all freaked out now. My family would probably disown me if there was even a rumor that I went into a gay bathhouse while being married. My face is on all the cameras outside the building. I don’t think I’ll ever tell my wife. But I’m worried one day that a picture will show up somewhere of me going into a gay bathhouse.”

Seems to us like maybe not-gay is worrying a little too much about this. If it were really as honest a mistake as he reports, what’s all this talk of being disowned? It sounds like this spa wasn’t necessarily a gay bathhouse, but more like a cruising ground, and so what if he mistakenly stumbled into it for a few brief moments? Anything else you’d like to get off your chest, not-gay?

Following the advice he got on Reddit, he eventually did tell his wife, who of course did not disown him. She wasn’t even upset (duh), and actually made a joke of the situation, asking him, “Did anyone have a better looking butt than me?”

So what is this — legitimate worry of giving the wifey the wrong impression? Or is he more worried about giving himself the wrong impression?


28 thoughts on “The Straight Guy Who Freaked Out After Accidentally Visiting Gay Bathhouse

  1. Y do I have this feeling that brother tried to feed his hungry curiosity! Isn’t there a sign or something? Am sure something was indicated somewhere.

    If it was truly a honest mistake, y d whole fuss about telling the wifey? This guy eh, me no just code am cha cha *odu anya mode activated*.

    • Lol…he probably noticed all the cameras only when he was leaving, and he became too flustered to think of turning the story into a joke with his wife and friends.

  2. The dudes story doesn’t make any sense. I know a lot of straight guys who would “gist” anyone and everyone that cared to listen, about the “mind-boggling” experience,if they unwittingly find themselves in a gay-related situation – that they took no part in…another opportunity to re-affirm their straightness and bewilderment about how a guy can be attracted to his fellow men when their are “plenty of sweet girls with sweet curves and sweet pussies everywhere”
    This reddit user’s story isn’t clear to me at all.

  3. Something about this story doesnt sit well with me but (being the Nice person that I am) I will still give himnthe benefit of the doubt.

    It is very possible anyway? If you are old like me then you must have seen Cuba Gooding Jr in Boat Trip, hilarious movie with a theme similar to this.

    ****plugs in Korede bello and sings along****

    • Exactly.

      You can feel guilty about something not because you did anything but because you’re scared people will think you did.

      Nothing to disbelieve here.

      • And if he has,say,political ambition,things might get really awkward if there were pics of him leaving the bathhouse.
        A believable story,yes

  4. K.

    I need a bathhouse in Nigeria here (Not necessarily a gay one)… errmmmmm I only need it for those occasions when Phcn becomes d dick that they truly are and don’t give me power for days; water cannot be pumped and of course i do need a bath! Hehehehe

  5. Of course to gay guys it could never be a honest mistake.. Everyone has to be gay, bi or at least curious..

    My eyes are about to pop out

  6. If you are gay and you havent visited a bath house i have to say you have missed a lot.
    I visited one in SA just around the time i was beginning to come to terms with my sexuality….lets just say, when i came out i had no doubt whatsoever that i was gay.
    Honestly, your most hardcore porn doesnt come close to my experience. Lool

    • Wow dou i know d lifestyle is legalized in SA but didnt know d place was so fun av olwaiz imagined dat beautiful day i will visit my 1st bathhouse ever!

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