LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 25)

Blog_Love And Sex In The City 02RAINBOWMAN SUN 7: 02 AM

THE COMMANDMENTS ACCORDING TO THE GAY SCRIPTURES (Hate-ehros, stay away please)

1: Thou shall practice Safe Sex whenever and wherever you see thouself. Always slip on that CD. But if there’s none available at that moment, then wank! A raw Kporo and Shobo must not make contact to avoid taking ARTs for the rest of your life.

2: Thou shall not let a Shobo/Kporo go to waste. Whenever you’re presented with an opportunity, don’t waste it, but do this while putting the Number 1 rule in practice. This is because a wasted opportunity may not repeat itself again for you.

3: Thou shall not pay any visit to any guy you meet online especially if he’s unemployed, a student, keeps asking you to come over, has a shady appearance, appears too good to be true, is from Badoo, doesn’t know his Role when you asked him at first, tells you it’s his first time… Ask such a fellow to visit you or better still…RUN!

4: Be good at whatever you do. If it is dick-sucking, suck it well. Make him nut. If it’s kissing, kiss well. Don’t bite or kiss with an unclean breath. If you’re Bottom, take that Kporo properly, whyne that waist well and make him gasp your name. If you’re Top, pound that Shobo well, make it memorable. Make him sing hallelujah songs. Keep this particular commandment well, and trust me, he will always come back for more.

5: Market Importation is good and healthy: Stop doing roro in your neighbourhood. It is always better to import your market from afar, but please make sure the market is genuine to avoid Kito in your house.

Keep these rules and thou will be fine and well. Continue reading

Kizito Talks: The Pilot Entry

intro_about_us_01FOREWORD: There are KDians and there are KDians, and the one called Kizito has carved out a rep for himself as the dude who rarely has much to say but ‘Hmmm’. (I still wonder how he can restrain himself so) Anyway, he has decided to start talking, and below is an intro to a series he’ll be writing for Kito Diaries soon.

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Today is my birthday, not a bad day to start a series on KD, right?

Good.

Well, I’m not much of a poetry or story writer. In fact, I’m not a writer. Except when it comes to writing songs – I’m a song-writer.

So, I’d be ‘talking’ (writing) about experiences I’ve had, I’m having, or I’m praying/hoping to have, and those of other people I know.

The series hasn’t kicked off yet, this is just preamble. I know a number of us are so eager to know all that happened when Elder Brother went through my diary. Hmmm. You’d get to know all that and many more. Like Pinky would say: Stay Tuned!

Hmmm…

The Pilot Entry II

intro_about_us_01Hi, KD.

My name is not Bobby. I am a passive member of this blog community, and I have never commented on any post. But I do read them all. And I must say, y’all are a really intelligent and funny lot.

I like to be direct and plain. So I’ll just go straight to the point. No smart words. Turns out I’m HIV positive as well, and I commend the previous guy who came forward with his story. I commend your bravery, dude.

I talked to Pink Panther about a series, chronicling my life, from the moment I discovered I had the virus. PP said it’s a cool idea and asked me to write a pilot. I did and he said it was lovely. I asked him to name the series, and he called it “Before I Die.” I fell in love with the title as soon as I heard it.

The series is going to be about what I have been going through from that moment that changed my life, and how I’ve been managing everything. Expect drama, a little comedy. It’s going to be educative as well. Some people don’t really know what it’s like, so this is my way of teaching them.

I’m not much of a writer though, so don’t forget to drop your criticisms. Whether you choose to be constructive about it or not, words don’t get to me. So anything you talk, nah you get ya mouth. Lol. Enjoy sha.

JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 27)

Blog_KD JournalJanuary 23

My money haf almost finish o. Lol.  You see ehn, most adults forget what it’s like to write exams. I cannot afford to cook when I have mounds of parasites, drugs and pathological names to remember. Also my active brain needs nourishment, and if I crave dominos and coldstone, I will go ahead and buy them, because I am relieving stress (By the way, don’t mix ice cream and pizza, unless you have weird taste buds like me).

So, that was my argument with my dad. Not exactly like that. I can be spoilt but I’m not that spoilt. I did tell him that I used most of the money on food and since I didn’t have time to cook, most of it was gone. I also lost my ID card and I had to spend money in the process of retrieving it. And I’ve spent quite a lot of cash on these expensive Nigerian data plans, downloading YouTube videos to supplement my knowledge and streaming porn to jerk off with when I feel über-stressed and need to relax (I didn’t add that one sha). Continue reading

Who Has Seen JLo’s New Movie, The Boy Next Door?

RG0I don’t care what all these white-men-o-phobes (yes, that should be a word) on KD say, but I have been observing JLo’s co-star in the movie, The Boy Next Door, and the lad is simply deee-licious! His name is Ryan Guzman, and it isn’t hard to figure out what JLo sees in him. (Rumour has it that she’s shagging him)

After stepping up his game in the Step Up franchise, actor Ryan Guzman has taking his next career leap appearing opposite Jennifer Lopez in the new thriller which hit screens on January 23rd.

From where I’m sitting though, it’s tough to pass off Guzman as a boy next door, unless you happen to live next door to a bunch of models. In which case, when can I come over? 😀

See what I mean? Continue reading

Let’s Discuss…About The Visibility Of What Society Doesn’t Want To See

Blog_Let's DiscussA friend of mine and follower of KD wanted to know, a couple of days ago, what comment made in disparagement of someone’s HIV status that brought on the collective wrath of the blog. I directed him to the contentious post, and when he was done, he returned to our private chat with an opinion about the KDian who shared his HIV story on KD: “Not a good move, if I must say… smh.”

And so the following is a bit of how our chatversation went after this tersely expressed opinion.

ME: Why? Why was it not a good move to share something to inspire people? Because someone will have something bad to say? So, by that standard, Kenny Badmus should not have talked about his coming out as well?

DUDE: Do you not see the resultant effect? Besides, Coming Out and HIV issue are two different things.

ME: Oh really? Educate me. Continue reading

Billy Crystal Says That Gay Scenes On TV Sometimes Are ‘Too Much For Me’

Billy-CrystalBilly Crystal was one of the first actors to play a gay character on television, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t wary of some of the gay content that ends up on the small screen.

The comedian opened up about his feelings regarding the nature of gay scenes on television while speaking at a panel for the Television Critics Association on Sunday in Pasadena, California.

“Sometimes I think, ‘Ah that’s too much for me,'” Crystal said. “Sometimes, it’s just pushing it a little too far for my taste and I’m not going to reveal to you which ones they are.”

In recent years, more and more queer content is making its way onto the airwaves. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender characters and storylines can be seen in popular shows like Looking, Modern Family, Empire, Transparent, How To Get Away With Murder, Orange is the New Black, American Horror Story and Glee. Continue reading

Man Crush Saturday: Papa Omisore

Screenshot_2015-01-20-05-39-22Someone once mentioned Papa Omisore here on KD in a passing comment, and I returned with a reply that revealed the fact that I didn’t know who he is.

Well, someone else set out to enlighten me on who the guy is – runs a PR agency in Lagos and does PR work for the Mavins, and owns a fashion outfit. This KDian, Oluwadamilare, also didn’t fail to mention that Papa Omisore is his ultimate celebrity crush. Subsequent correspondence revealed that he’s a few steps away from being Papa Omisore’s stalker. Lol.

And I must say, after going through a few pictures of the guy, being someone who is a sucker for kissable lips, I admit this guy owns a really sumptuous, scrumptious pair. (Sorry, Dami, I’m not poaching. My heart still belongs to Idris and Tyson)

Check on Papa Omisore, guys. Continue reading

LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE

future-wifeDear future wife, I come from the past to warn you about the terrible mistake you’re about to make – marrying me.

I’m not going to be your knight in a shining armor, or your “help” in fixing up things in the house. I’m not going to love you, at least not in the way you’ll want to be loved. Even if I do, it’ll be a brother-sister love. In your eyes, I’ll be the man of your dreams, but don’t be fooled; I’m going to be your worst nightmare and you, my bane.

We’re never going to have that wild spontaneous sex you read about and watch in Hollywood movies; ours will be more like a zombie mating with a corpse, strictly for reproduction purposes. There’ll be no kissing, no foreplay, no romance. You’ll often get horny and I won’t be there to satisfy you. Our lovemaking will be vapid and frigid like a storm in a cold November. Continue reading