F – A – T

original“You are fat!”

Those are about the most horrible words you can use on a gay guy. It doesn’t matter how thick your skin is, those words cut through your skin like hot knife through butter. In today’s world, being called fat simply means you are undesirable, not good enough or simply Urgh! I should know. I have been called fat several times. And each time doesn’t hurt less than the last.

If you think that in a world where we are all fighting for acceptance and tolerance, that our species will be a little kinder with one another, you would be wrong. The gay standards for desirability are set at far ridiculous levels. Little wonder most gays keep claiming loneliness and are perpetually in the market for the next hottest thing. To be more candid, it’s almost like we are in love with body parts not people.

Anyway, back to me and my story over weight issues. In my teenage years, I was quite skinny. But of course, those were my innocent years. Sex appeal had little or no relevance to me. It’s not that I wasn’t attracted to guys. It’s just that I couldn’t place any reason for the attraction. It wasn’t because they were tall or short or fat or thin. I liked the guys I liked because I felt some form of connection with them. Now, liking guys and having sex are two different things.

As I got into my twenties though, I began to put on weight. When I say ‘put on weight,’ it’s not like I was obese. I just didn’t have packs or abs, and my rib cage was well coated with flesh. To the rest of the world I was a hottie. Half the girls in my class wanted to sleep with me. I swear, if I was straight, a few would have had my kids by now.

Unfortunately, the class of people I fancied – the males – simply seemed not that into me. It was the age of skinny and frail, and I was fat. It’s not like these guys weren’t attracted to me, it’s just that most thought I would be better off stick-skinny like everyone else.

But if you know me, you know I resist any form of bullying or name-calling. So to cope, I sealed myself in my cocoon, vowing never to let myself fall for, or be manipulated by anyone. I still have my private battle with weight. I have told myself that I would never change for anyone. I will not starve. I will eat when I am hungry. I will do exercise to stay healthy, but never succumb to fulfilling anyone’s sexual fantasy. It’s not easy staying on this part. I keep away from people who like me for how I look instead of who I am. Some days I feel sexy and hot, and some days I feel unattractive.

I guess it’s all part of life. Maybe I would be convinced otherwise if I saw that skinny and frail is a prerequisite for a happy relationship. I am still very much desired by many. Actually to be honest, most of my so-called friends just want to sleep with me. I still ask myself why? When five minutes ago you called me fat. I am gradually learning to deal with the name-calling. Putting on weight in gay world is almost like catching a disease, or perhaps maybe it’s just my inner insecurities. But often, everyone just feels sorry for you, so 90% of gay guys starve themselves to look attractive. While I am glad I am not one of them, I think it’s important to note that true beauty comes from within.

Written by Ken George

72 thoughts on “F – A – T

  1. My dear… hahahahhahaha I laugh tire, cus somehow I feel like u, during my student days, I was obsessed, gym, dieting even bulimia.. but my dear, 3 yrs down the line, I ve stopped and gym abt once a week lol.. just live healthy, know ur blood pressure and cholesterol level, eat well.. abeg not all of us will be skinny, the skinny models needs us to feel good abt themselves..

  2. yeah, many people prefer what society promotes as attractive. There are chubby chasers around. There are sapiosexuals around. Try your luck etc.

    The worst thing you can say is that being gay is disgusting/ other homophobic concept. Being fat shamed is unfortunate, but no one is required to make you feel good about yourself. If your friends don’t respect fat people ditchthem.

    The focus on looks is based on how most gay men meet : on social media, for sex. The focus on attractiveness is a consequence of that.

    TL, DR: Deal with it, many people don’t like fat people.

  3. I feel u Ken and I know what u may have been going thru. However for me I love my dates to be as slim as they cum. And that’s just my preference and it’s purely sexual. So I don’t confuse sexual preference with quality personality and the richness of one’s insides which can make the beauty of any relationship.

    So fat pipo I will be your friend and all that however sex with U er no thank u…..no offense!

  4. Men come in all shapes and sizes! And yes men are very visual beings so looks in general are a big factor

    I have met guys who said I was too slim for them! (after all a “concerned” person here asked me to increase my food portions), and It’s really funny because I work extremely hard to keep things in shape!

    Some men like plus sized (erm sorry but fat is no longer politically correct), some like slim. The bottom line is love yourself (no matter what size you are), become a confident person and your beauty will shine through!

  5. I’ve been laughed at for being super-slim. I in turn laugh at people who are overweight. It’s a matter of choice. Someone else loves me so much! And the fat people get married because they are loved…
    I don’t want to be fat. I like being super slim. Just be who you are, and do what makes you happy. The right person is on the way… And even if I find fatness highly amusing, I know they are human and can relate better than my other thin friend…

  6. Yes fat people shouldn’t be stigmatized, and you shouldn’t make people feel like they need to look a certain way to be considered attractive.

    However, when it comes to attraction or dating, it’s all a matter of taste

  7. If ur insecurities are considering if dey shuld germinate, gay guys wuld tk it as a duty to not jst water it,but put fertiliser and manure till it blossoms.

  8. Ken, there’s nothing wrong in having flesh here and there, as long as you’re actually healthy and fit. I think simple daily exercises help to balance things out here so one doesn’t become overweight or obese.

    I’m slim. Not everyone likes slim men. And it doesn’t keep me up at night.

    Obsessing over body issues can be a limiting way of looking at oneself. Even muscle studs people get scoffed at; there are guys not into that. Tastes vary. Love yourself, sniff out those who love you.

  9. Hahahaha hahahahahaha.. This was funny… I can never put on weight even if I eat a dinosaur.. I call people fat a lot.. Anyone who has more flesh than me, and that’s like everyone else.. 😂😂😂😂😂
    Pinky dear, I’m gonna have to indite you in this one.. 😁😁😁😁

  10. My favorite post of today. I also was very skinny until about 4 years ago. I have never been so hung up over weight tho in my partners….all that really matters to me is the connection I have with him and that he makes me happy. If the people you roll with make you feel unworthy simply cos of your weight, get new pals hombre!

  11. This reminded me of myself and my personal struggles with my weight. I started off being extremely skinny as a teen and then suddenly I exploded in my late teens, and then I started being self conscious about my weight, so much so that I became bulimic but stopped as the constant ‘regurgitation’ was making my teeth appear thin and see through. Now in my mid 20s, I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll never really be thin or slim…i like to think of myself as thick (and juicy) and most guys don’t have a problem w my weight. So why then should I believe the voices in my head that say otherwise. I also eat once a day…and snack in between!

    • @ chizzie snacks in between is so not cool at all, I was once an addict, when I returned for my sophomore back in school I was inrecogniseable (if there is a word like that) I had to starve daily, making sure I eat only veg and no visit to buka, when asked if I had eaten? My replies always I’m ohk.

      It was a big blow when the stretch marks came calling but I didn’t allow such to keep me awake. I love me for been me, average not chubby, not slim, not athletic, but have a very broad chest which accommodate everyone that we both shared things in common.

      Each with his own pomo and fish, love me wella.

  12. I dont think anyone should be overly concerned over his weight as long as it is within healthy limits. Some pple like them slim while some others like a bit of flesh here and there. Different strokes for different folks! Chubby or skinny, just be confident in yourself and move on. Dont sorround u with pple who make you feel inferior cos of ur looks. Move on like….Next! Someone who loves u for u and who infact loves ur phisique will come along sometime. Meanwhile let ur happiness and self esteem shine through..they have a way of atracting pple to to u ang its deeper and longer lasting than what looks alone val bring…
    Cheers

  13. Men are highly visual creatures, turned on mostly by what they see as opposed to females who r turned on by what they hear … truth is, the gaybourhood is one huge meat market and only the best and freshest looking meat gets bought …. however, different tastes for different guys. I know guys who dig the slim petite look, i also know guys who go gaga for the chubby (corpulent even) ‘full behind’ types … bottomline, try to maintain a healthy balanced diet&exercise regime, treat yoyr body like a sacred temple, take good care of it and it’ll take good care of you. Most importantly work on your confidence and personality as those remain with you even after father time eats and chips away @ ur sexy physique …

  14. Sorry, i no get specifications. If i see you and my dick stand, then that is all the greenlight i need. I have crushed heavily on some fat guys and i have been nauseated about the thought of going down with some slim, athletic guys. I am open minded like that.

  15. Well, one can always seek out E. Coli or the rotavirus. You’ll get diarrhea and watch your body lose weight fast. Yes the frequent stooling is a side effect but imagine your joy when you finally get your ass to fit those jeans.

  16. *Yawn* Its all about preference nd ppl will always have what they prefer. Just b happy in ur own skin nd go deaf ears to any opinion u find irrelevant.
    I like me the way I am nd I work hard for it. Was actually surprised when someone said I was skinny. Like seriously? How can one who is 6.3″ nd has a size 32″ waist b skinny? I just can’t deal.

  17. I have this evil GF who has taken to pinching my non existent butt cheeks. ‘if I must sway, sway sumtin’ she says. She cannot understand the joy I have when I stand in front of the mirror and can still perform my flexes, patra and butterfly. Biko, skinny it is for me o. The slimmer, the better.

    As for preferences, there’s just so much grossness I can tolerate. Sha don’t sweat n stink n suffocate me under all that weight when we dey fuck. We shall be good.

  18. this is how I feel. No one should criticise me BUT, Yes! There’s nothing wrong in being F-A-T! But there’s FAT and then there’s HUGE!

    And all those huge people believe others are wrong for ostracising them.

    Well, truth is if they think being like that is okay, then they deserve it. For God sakes, you were given a body, don’t let it suffer!

    Eat right, exercise well (wanking allowed). I’m not rying to put huge people down but its the truth, they shouldn’t let their bodies go to waste all because of ‘I’m beautiful Inside’…

    The woman who sweeps my house is soooo untidy and gross but very respectful, doesn’t mean I’ll hug her…

    Hope I made small sense…

    #DanOut!

  19. lol. like a a six pack ever made the sex better… or the friendship… or the relationship. sure, well-defined bodies are good to look at but i try not to lose focus of what really important about other people. each to his own, i guess

  20. “You are fat!”
    Those are about the most horrible words you can use on a gay guy. Here’s one that beats that – “you’re a fucking faggot”. Well, I’ve been told both so i know.
    Ok, so this is a topic that is very dear to my heart. I was F-A-T during my late teen years but that was when my sex life was the most active. ‘Most’ of the guys i was with never really hassled me about my weight. I guess they just liked me for me. But there were sometimes when i felt really bad about my weight, so i decided to start exercising a bit and then i got to school and shed a few. Now people say i look better than i used to and i sure feel better about myself. Though i don’t see myself with abs anytime soon.

  21. I was a skinny kid too and at my teenage years then weight came, Am from a family were we are naturally fat but yet I still work hard to stay in shape and still starve myself becos apperently eating healthy in 9ja is more Expensive than eating a lot of high fat food which is not suppose to be so, but am happy with the results and comments am in my Mid 20s and am in the best sharp of my life but I just don’t get why a lot of Fat guys and Men won’t stop trying to sleep with me? Is it just me? Cos I don’t understand why fat guys Actually think a muscular guy like me will wanna be with them? Part of the reason I started working out and lifting weights was becos I began to notice all the guys I liked at that time muscle guys of course also liked muscle guys too which I was I was not at that time, now that I am the power had fall back to me am the one doing the choosing now and it feels good…. So at the End all the dieting, starving and spending a lot of time in the Gym Paid off!!!! Like My Trainer Will say No Pain! No Gain!

    • But how come u are still single despite ur supposed sex appeal. if you ask me, i dont think anything paid off. just
      seems like u did all that to get smone else’s approval.

      my point is beauty and sex appeal is not a guarantee for good relatnship. tho it feels good to get compliments but in d long run u will still be ur lonely self.

      • I a lot paid off I live a healthy life now, have inspired a lot of people to work on their weight even my mum too.. And as for being Single is by choice not by fault… I am not ready for a relationship not anytime soon…

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