So, in response to the post yesterday about what the womenfolk should look out for in the detection of their men’s gayness, a KDian penned a parody of the list, a sort of humourous rejoinder. Lol. Note: he’s talking to you, the gay man who intends to get married. 😀 Read and share your thoughts.
1. She has way too many friends. They tend to cluster and talk in loud noises but shut up anytime you step into the room.
2. She spends more time with her “girls” than with you, especially at the salon, market, shopping malls and the occasional bowling alley. Who does that?
3. She is too conscious of her looks every time, even in her dreams.
4. She doesn’t take calls from unknown numbers when she is with you. If she does, it’s always one relative or old friend from secondary school. Did she mention she used to share a bunk with that old friend? What’s her name again – Ngozi?
5. She doesn’t have sex with you on the regular. Headache, her period, fatigue – they are the most common reasons given.
6. She is very free with your male friends, most times its one particular male friend. Or he is even her brother who became your friend later, so it’s OK if they bathe naked together. She takes him to the bowling alley.
7. She might not spend most nights outside but have you asked her where she spends her days? Why does she like to go see Ngozi, a lot?
8. Her friends don’t like you, especially that Ngozi of a girl.
9. She is always on social media. Did you know she is on Snaptu and Wechat? Do you even know what they are? That’s right, you know nothing.
10. Her friend list is more of women than men. If she has more men, don’t be deceived, she must still be a lesbian or a night vigil promoter. They are a sneaky lot. Ngozi is definitely her handler.
11. Her Facebook reads “Interested in Men and Women”. On Badoo, she is open-minded.
12. You cannot have her Facebook password. If and when she eventually gives you, then she has moved the ‘nasty’ to Snaptu and Wechat.
13. Her phone is always locked, or just the gallery is encrypted with an app you can’t even find in Google Playstore.
14. She and her friends speak CODED words around you. Words like bunny boiler, booth babe, Chiquita banana, crockadiallapig and much, much more.
15. When you want to take her out on occasions, she quizzes you continually to know if its somewhere she is already familiar with. She likes to invite that Ngozi of a girl to join.
If she displays all these things, marry her sharp-sharp. You both were made for each other. Now, after all said and done, never ever collect food offered by Ngozi.
Written by Colossus