Yes, I am 20 and I am leaving, to be happy. Of course you’ll say, being gay is not being happy, but you won’t understand. You probably never will.
This is who I am. The consistent “therapies” which was supposed to make me change has made me stronger.
If I had written this letter two years ago, it’d have been followed with my body hanging from the ceiling fan or pale from overdosing. But that can’t happen now, I’m wiser, I’m in love with myself and I’ve learned to love who I am.
On my declaration of irreligiousness, it is because religion itself is at conflict with who I am. Religion tells me I’m a sinner, which I’ve come to believe I’m not, at least, not based on who I am. Religion blinds people from thinking and I refuse to be blind. Religion also breeds hate and contempt and I refuse to be a part of that. People without religion are happy people because they are free of unnecessary man-written laws by self proclaimed prophets. I am not delusional. Neither am I suffering from any thought problems.
To my parents, I pray that this meets you in good health and I’m sorry to cause you any pain. I know you love me and I love you too, but I am the future and I choose my happiness over anything else. There have been six times I have been outed to you, and I believe you should be ready for this. I can’t bear living an unhappy life, living two different lives at the same time.
Today, I decide to choose mine, the life I see myself living. I don’t see for myself a future where I’ll marry a girl and have kids with her. I can’t punish that woman who would trust her husband that has absolutely no sexual attraction for her.
On my being born this way, the last time I said it, you replied that I was brainwashed by Lady Gaga. You said that I developed my effeminacy, when you fully knew how I used to love dressing like a girl as early as at age 5; how I loved the less physical games; how I enjoyed playing with our neighbours’ dolls because you wouldn’t buy for me. You didn’t even bother that I tried committing suicide the first time you knew I was gay. I know what I’m doing and no one is taking responsibility for that but me.
To my sister, I could not wish for any other but you. But I am who I am.
To my brother, it has not being pleasant knowing you. Your homophobic slurs and invectives will, hopefully, get you your dream job. P.S. Some of your friends are gay, have a nice time figuring out who’s on the down-low.
To the only niece I have, even though you’re barely five months old, remember your uncle. The one whose face lights up when you smile. Don’t worry, you’ll still meet your cousins later sometime. I love you and I will miss you.
To every other, this is to let you know that I have chosen the path that makes me happy and I’m sticking to it.