Cheating isn’t something new to any of us. Many have done it, many others are planning to. Your dear bae who gives you head ten times before dawn probably had a raunchy session with some loafer while you were at work.
Over time, people tend to try to justify their cheating with excuses like,
*You don’t care about me anymore
*You don’t pay attention to me anymore
*You’re hardly around
*I hardly see you these days
*You don’t tell me you love me anymore
*I was horny and you were not around (I’ve actually heard that one before)
There are so many others.
That thing called Cheating – it is the flirty and suggestive chats you have with a certain someone who’s not your beau. It’s your inability to turn down a potential hookup. It’s the conscious lie you tell people that you’re single (to make yourself appear available). It’s the compromising position you put yourself in (going on first time meet-ups with an admirer). It is playing a dirty truth-or-dare game with your crush. It is visiting your ex.
We all know that the mythical ‘settling down’ which everyone else tries to push you to do doesn’t really work. (It doesn’t make your thirstiness stop) A friend of mine once said, “Monogamy is against the law of nature.” Whether you’re in a relationship or not, married or not, you’ll still be attracted to people all the same. In fact, I think it’s worse when you’re in a committed relationship, because then, you’ll keep having the same kind of meal, and I know everyone loves variety.
Personally, I’ve never cheated on anyone I’m dating. I never have and never will, because I’ve seen firsthand what cheating can do to a relationship. Why would I want to destroy something I’ve spent so much time building, just for a few minutes of pleasure?
After a while, a relationship will eventually become boring. It’s up to the two people involved to keep it alive. People cheat because they don’t try. One party usually starts getting attention from someone else more than he’s getting from his partner, and suddenly they’ll get deluded into thinking they have feelings for them. It’s that longing to feel something different, something dangerous that make people cheat. The next stage is the comparison stage; you start comparing them with your partner and usually the person will have all the right boxes ticked in your head. This creates a false sense of security with the individual.
One thing to note: When people want to get in your pants, they’ll do or say anything to keep you interested, keep you entertained and satisfied. And so naturally it doesn’t take long before they start looking better than your partner in your eyes.
Funny thing is, most times, the person a partner cheats on you with is usually trampy; that is, not up to your level.
Relationships are delicate things; without care and proper nurturing, everything goes south really quickly. I know some married people who haven’t been married for years. They just live together to fool people outside and keep up appearances. That’s what living in Nigeria does to you; it makes you believe the crap of anti-divorce. I’m a firm believer that if something isn’t working and you’ve tried so many times to fix it, all to no avail, it should be ended. Better that than the popular alternative.
The worst part of being cheated on is the fact that it distorts every memory you have of the person, sometimes forgiving them isn’t enough. You’ll start to wonder if he’s done it to you in the past but you didn’t find out, if he really loved you, if all he’d ever said to you has been a lie. It doesn’t take much for the truth to start looking like a lie.
I also believe in the theory: Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater.
I’d like to hear your thoughts on this issue. Have you been cheated on? What were your instincts to it when it happened? Have you cheated? If yes, why?
Written by Max