Originally published on queerty.com
According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, a micropenis is an “unusually small penis” with an “erect penile length … smaller than about 7 cm.” It is a condition that affects about 0.6 percent of males and that is rarely ever talked about. Until now.
One brave man has opened about his life with a micropenis to New York Magazine during an in-depth interview, discussing everything from scarring sexual experiences, to experimenting with men, to the types of condoms he uses. The 51-year-old English teacher from the U.K. bared all — the good, the bad, and the ugly — about what it’s like having an infant-sized penis.
Here are a few highlights from the interview…
On when his penis stopped growing:
I was 14. Quite honestly, my entire life has been shaped and damaged by my penis size. I’m still not really over it, even though I’m way into middle age. I’ve had relationships, but they’ve never been terribly good, particularly not from my partner’s point of view. I always feel like I can’t do what I should be able to do as well as most people. That’s what I worry about. And doctors have never been any help.
On his first sexual experience:
It was traumatic. I was 21 and it was at a party. I’m very sociable and I love parties. This was a big house party and a lovely girl really took to me; she really enjoyed my conversation and she was the one who suggested to me that we go upstairs and find a bedroom. This had never happened before … She undressed and then she helped me undress, because I wasn’t very keen to take my clothes off. She started trying to get me hard because she couldn’t really see what was there. I guess she was hoping it would change, or get bigger. I did get semi-hard but it wasn’t enough and I couldn’t penetrate her … We got to a certain point and she couldn’t hide how disappointed she was. She was quite annoyed and I don’t blame her at all; to this day, I don’t blame her.
On actually losing his virginity:
It was great, even though it was also embarrassing. It was much better than the first time because the girl I was with was very experienced and knew how to deal with me; she just knew how to get what little I had to offer. She knew how to get that little thing inside her! She made the most of what I have. And she was sweet and lovely and laughed about it all and she was fascinated by how small it was. I had a relationship with her for almost a year. But she lost interest in having sex with me, she had other boyfriends, and eventually she became a lesbian.
On having penetrative sex:
It’s really very difficult. All the other things are fine: oral, manual and I have never got into all the additional things, the toys, the strap-ons and the vibrators. I don’t like it. I love bodies, touch and all those things are great, but full sex is something I just can’t do properly. My penis is just not big enough. When I’m having sex I’m always aware that she’s probably pretending to enjoy things more than she really is, and the last woman I was with admitted that was true and that just stopped me dead. I knew it was true and of course it’s not her fault, it’s my fault.
On experimenting with men:
For a while I thought, It’s no good. I thought maybe I should just be gay — maybe I could just be a bitch to a gay man, I could take it up the ass. But I didn’t enjoy it very much and I realized I wasn’t gay. You’re either gay or you’re not; you can’t make yourself be gay. But I really liked the whole world of gay men and women — the scene, but not the sex. I did sleep with a few guys, though.
On when having a small penis works in his favor:
Oral sex. Giving it rather than receiving it. I’m often worried that women feel they have to return the favor, but I would need to be very thoroughly persuaded that any woman would really want to put my horrible little penis in her mouth, and then taste the result. I would like to think I might be good at other things — maybe as a gentle, miniature introduction to anal sex, but I have never had the nerve to ask if it might be wanted.
On warning his partners beforehand about his micropenis:
I usually say, “I don’t think you’re going to be terribly impressed, but this is what I’ve got.”
On the last time he had sex:
Twenty-one months ago. February 2013.
When I was desperate to get into bed, to get into women, I was trying to find condoms that worked, but I still haven’t found one. You can get ones that are really small, but there’s so many sad stories of that. Oh no. There are small ones these days, but back then you couldn’t. It was one size fits all, and it didn’t. It didn’t fit at all by any means, and of course the few girls that I’ve known had practiced with their boyfriend the best way of putting on condoms, but when they met me and had to deal with me, it was just totally different. It’s not like a banana at all; it’s a little battery. All I can ever do is say, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I know a bunch of Bottom friends who won’t give this man the time of day. They be like, Micropenis, what’s that going to do for my shobosho? LOL. One of them reads KD dedicatedly. You know yourself.