FOREWORD: It turns out there’s being a mistake ongoing here on KD. A new commenter who inadvertently chose his blog pseudonym to be ‘king’ isn’t the ‘king’ we already know here on KD. He’s a different person, for those of you who have been over-familiarizing with him. Lol. My advice to this new ‘king’? Change your pseudonym. The other king appears to be away from KD due to some, uh, unfortunate circumstances. But we wanna know when he returns and not mix up our relations with either of you. 🙂
And now to today’s feature piece.
I once looked up ‘sexuality’ on Wikipedia. Wikipedia identifies four forms of sexuality: homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality and asexuality. The last one is a pseudo-type class, in that one can be gay and asexual, straight and asexual, or bi and asexual.
I identify myself as a gay asexual or, as I like to call myself, a homo-romantic asexual. This means I can see myself being in a romantic relationship with another guy, but never in a sexual one. I’ve met quite a number of guys who say I’m ‘forming’ or pretending. These guys (and a lot more out there) refuse to believe the established fact that some people (yes, even gay guys) are just not interested in sex. Some other people say I’m too untrusting, or that I’m scared of getting hurt.
A few times in my life, I decided to loosen up a little and try some things. Most guys I’ve met refused to believe me when I say that the farthest I’ve gone with another guy is a blowjob. And during those blowjobs, all I kept thinking was, “How do people enjoy this thing, why can’t I feel anything, how do I tell him this poor guy to stop?” The first time lasted all of ten seconds before I told the guy to stop. The second was about a minute, with a guy I really liked. The third and last time lasted more than five minutes because I thought maybe if I kept at it, I may actually start to enjoy it.
The worst downside of being asexual is that it is lonely as hell. It is incredibly hard to be in a relationship or to even find someone you like, who likes you back. This is because 99.9% of guys definitely wanna have sex with you after some time. When they find out that you cannot give them what they want, they lose interest, or they keep pestering you till you threaten them with a gun.
This is not to say asexual people don’t get horny. I myself get horny (recently, quite often.) You may wonder how a full-blooded male will be horny, but will refuse to have sex even if you serve it in a plate free-of-charge. It’s simple: porn. Even though I don’t really understand why I cannot stand the thought of ever engaging in intercourse, I do enjoy seeing other people do it. Well, as a medical student, I know that the testes and other glands produce sperm and the seminal fluid constantly, and that when these sperms stay too long in the epididymis, they could become calcified, which leads to a whole lot of problems. This is also the reason why guys have wet dreams (Your body’s protecting you!).
So even if I ain’t having sex, I still gotta get rid of the sperm. If you’re asking why I don’t just get laid and get it over with, I suggest you start reading this article all over.
The point I’m trying to make is, there are actually guys out there who don’t wanna screw you, or have dirty chats, or exchange pics, etc, with you. Most of the time, when I start chatting with a new guy on BBM or WhatsApp, and he asks, “What’s your role?”, I have to spend about ten minutes trying to figure out how to explain to him that I don’t know because I’ve never done it. Some accept it when I explain to them. Most, however, infer that I’m one of those guys who pretend to be naïve, or pretend not be sexual active.
I’m gonna stop here for now. I’d like to know what you guys think about this article… Thanks.
Written by Jace Morgensten
Calcify?! *pulls out lube from side drawer*
Hahaha…u’re a mess!
Lol… Very funny… I’ve never actually met an asexual person before ( physically or virtually)… Its gonna be a strange feeling to meet someone who doesn’t wanna rip your shirt off… Well, I’m sorry asexual people, but I happen to like Lil play time.. It’s a part of the whole dating.. If I ain’t getting it from you, why are we dating then?? I know it’s not all about sex… But sex is an integral part.
On the “King” matter, we know his Avatar.. So I don’t think there ll be any mix up..
Max, you think everyone is as nerdy as you? lol.
There was a mix-up all of yesterday.
And yea, about asexual people. TBH, I thought that existed just in the dictionary. i had no idea such a term applied to actual human beings.
Lol.. It’s one of those things I know exists.. But haven’t come across one yet.. Low libido peeps are as good as I’ve seen…
He’s on a lonely road in an already lonely hood.. This sets him back to like 1000000:1 odds of finding someone like him…
Let’s say he finds such a person. Then what? They connect solely on an emotional level?
Highly unlikely… When you put other factors to consider into perspective… I think it’s safe to assume he’s totally screwed..*sighs…
Not literally, that is. 🙂
Amma say sorry, cus tht lane is cold and lonely.. unfortunately u may not change.
Wow!!! You truly are in the minority coz as you say 99.9% wanna do the “thing”. But wow something you still didn’t clarify was how you expel the sperm….i know you said you love porn but then do you wank it off or what and if that’s what you do then aren’t you lonely??? ama just asking oooo coz I know there’s a word like asexual I just didn’t know anybody could be it except the monks and nuns and yet even those too hmmm we have heared of their ahem!!! So pray tell….
Aha thanks pinky for that update on my “name”. Please change that pseudo biko coz even the avatar might not be enuf to differentiate….
It’s up to you to change it. Each time you wanna comment, instead of typing ‘king’ in the name section, you may wanna pick a different name to type.
As I have been found out,i’ll quietly slide back into the shadows but I gave king a soft landing
Hian! What is really going on here? Too many kings up in here…my head is spinning.one person should modify his name nah. If u both like d name so much,then u shuld hav some sort of contest to determine who keeps d name…*sips tea and swallows panadol*
Chestnut,by contest,are u implying we show whose dick is bigger?*straight face*
Oya oo whip it out let’s see who the real KING is and who should be a prince
Choi! Dis pipu,don’t put me in trouble o! When I said “contest”, I meant “oesophagus”…we need to know who has d bigger oesophagus b4 we decide…I thought everybody understood this *straight face*
#Calcify… if I say i don’t learn everyday on this blog, I must be a wicked liar. Jace could that be the popular ‘Konji’ people talk about?
Binary fission anyone?
Some micro organisms don’t fuck each other to replicate.. They just split into two( fission)… That’s why they multiply quickly…
@PinkPanther to think you were a science major at university and you have forgotten what Binary Fission means?
You see what Scarface and his **** are doing to you?
Hahahahahahahaa!!! The thunder that will fire you is warming up in the gym.
Do u know I totally forget what binary fission is! When u said it,I was thinking of some sort of mathematical eqaution.lol but binary fission would be a painful way for a human to procreate o! Can’t I just buy a stuffed puppy or plant a cactus?
Some funny ish mehn!! Well, for a minute I thought I was the only one that sees sex as an overrated stuff..
I get easily irritated when someone asks me for nudes, when u just meet someone and they ask “what’s your role?”, u in the car with someone and they just can’t keep their hands off u *sigh*. y Is sex everything these days?
It can be quite lonely and boring, especially when u have friends who r catching the fun and u r just there.
People see u as a proud guy that is forming too good to be fucked.
Finding someone who doesn’t think sex is everything, someone who believes in love and romance, someone who believes in the “traditional” way of doing stuff is quite difficult these days..
Daniel, I think your view of sex and the Jace’s view are two different things. Unless you wanna tell us you’re asexual too, in which case, HELLOOOO?!!! A match has been made. 😀
I think Daniel is talking about a totally different thing… Maybe I should rephrase it for him..
Let’s say you get married (the traditional way, to a lady) who is asexual and wouldn’t like sex…
Tell me again how its not an integral part of a relationship….
Will you be happily married to her without the sex?? Living like bffs???
That’s what we r talking about here…
Lmao!! pinky, I hope u don’t think asexual peeps don’t have sex at all bcos they do but rarely and hardly.. But I believe our views r a little different tho.. Jace can do the clarification.
And about that match *pensive*
‘ I hope u don’t think asexual peeps don’t have sex at all bcos they do but rarely and hardly..’
Did you read this post at all?
Did you run the definition by Google?
Did you check your dictionary?
Please do these three, then come back and you’ll see the error of your ways. 🙂 lol
Wow finally i gat to read about an asexual somebody. My dear the road will be lonely I swear but u just have to continue trying and you will meet someone your type. Use more online sites and be very explicit in the description of who you are and what you want. Trust me you are not alone but just very rare. Cheers
Well, I understand u Pinky.
2 years ago, there was a community dialogue on this, we did some research and according to wikipedia
“Some asexual people engage in sexual activity despite lacking a desire for sex or sexual attraction, due to a variety of reasons, such as a desire to please romantic partners or a desire to have children.”
Asexual…hmm. I haven’t gone to google, but I always thought it meant someone who had zero desire for anything sexual- even porn or wanking! Now Jace,I know not much about u and ur history, so I can’t say for sure,but could u be slightly mistaken in ur definition of urself? I know some ppl have higher/lower sex-drives than others,but that’s different from asexuality. The fact that u can get some pleasure from porn and wanking tells me that u’re capable of sexual “hunger” and that u can achieve sexual pleasure. Sometimes,when u fap/watch porn excessively,it makes u unable to enjoy sex with other people cause it desensitizes ur brain( a lot of chemical/hormonal imbalance…long story) and of course,wen u realise that sex with other ppl doesn’t please u or them, it makes u wary of future sexual encounters with anyone/thing that isn’t ur hand or lap-top screen and it becomes a viscous cycle…
Chestnut you’re right to a certain degree, but the thing is asexuals handle the sexual needs in different ways. Basically its like having one box with different compartments for the same item if you get what I mean.
– some love the company of other. cuddle, kissing, mutual wanking
– some love to just give orals
– some love to be by themselves and wank.
Well Jace you’re not alone André Leon Talley and our very own style man Tim Gunn are asexual.
Also I am close friends with a notable professor at the university of witswatersrand who’s also asexual too. I know its really difficult for guys who identify as asexual, judging by what the professor told me. it’s hard enough being gay, then having to explain that you don’t enjoy sex to gay man is like teaching rocket propulsion to a 9year old.
I spent a full weekend at his place, was it a boring weekend for me? yes it was to an extent, but then I learned something about being asexual, vintage RHD cars and Oscar Wilde.
Also I warmed up to the idea that you can have a meaningful friendship (and possibly relationship) without jumping on a guy’s boner every 10mins. Never considered myself a sapiosexual until that particular weekend.
Nowadays if you’re not in possession of good brains and sense humour, I tune out quickly before you even get to ask me “what’s your role”
#Singing OneDirection’s “Story of my life”# I am so so asexual! I haven’t had sex in a year, I get horny, I watch porn once in a while but I DON’T MISS SEX AT ALL! Even back when I still use to have d “sex”, am never emotional connected to it! I may love the person am having it with to a fault but d sexual connection is never there! When worked up into d mood for sex(once in a red moon), I could b a freak inbtw d sheet but if not, am just gonna lie there, huff/puff nd watch u have have ur way! D downside is dat I always end up LONELY. Loneliness is my middle name. Almost everybody in d gaybourhood wants sex nd if u can’t offer dem some it is on to d next one which is quite sad.
I had this nice guy I was in a relationship wit, he was so so nice. I told him about my nature, he understood nd He never force or coerced me into sex! We later moved on from lovers to friends but he was/is still more than a lover. We discuss everything under d sun nd even his present relationships and all. His kind r hard to find in this sex craving neighbourhood.
My philosophy is dat there is more to life than sex. Y can’t we just cuddle nd discuss “Glee’s Kurt”, movies, music, hotties nd yes FASHION which I so so love! Even d blowjob self is just bleh for me. I wish I could blow myself. Am I even normal? Who doesn’t like a blowjob nd wants to blow themselves?
I’ve heard about asexuals tho I’m yet to meet any. *scribbles that onto my bucket list*
I have a theory; all asexual people should be dicked down and properly fucked till they cannot breathe!
Yes I am crude like that
And insensitive to their plight, it would seem…
lol DM I saw what you did there
not everyone likes to be dicked according to your S&M playbook ya know
Erm how do you know you don’t like S and M if you haven’t tried it?
Am on your side remember we’ve had this convo many months ago. I too do enjoy a tiny bit of S&M.
But suggesting we use your playbook as remedy for asexuality is a bit one kain one kain
I frown at corrective rape
Shurrup! Its not corrective rape!!!
Dennis that’s not fair o! U will just traumatise them forever!
Or they will come back for more!
Chestie dear, leave Dennis to b talking yeye dis morning! I guess this is d effect of d spoilt nsala soup Mrs M *Mstcheeeeeeew!* gave him dis morning! The Trauma can’t b fathomed oh! He wants us to pack our bags/heels nd flee once we see a bulge after that!
You might as well say we should rape lesbians so they can be corrected.
Hian!!! Inukwa Dennis? Anybody (apart from you shaa! *wink*) that tries dat with me will have a broken bottle on their head! Nekwa m nee eshishi oh! Yes! Am razz like dat! Na by force?!
Crude as it seems, Dennis i tend to somehow agree with you. Perhaps they haven’t yet found good raunchy sex … that might just be the magic wand that’ll unlock their inner nympho …
Are we now saying there’s a slut in every asexual waiting to be unlocked? Isn’t that more than a bit presumptuous? Aren’t we doing that thing where we fashion an explanation of the sexuality that makes sense to us, simply because we cannot people who have needs different from ours? You know, sorta like the heterosexual society tries to do of the LGBT?
Khaleesi would know
I believe there is quite a number of people around the world that are asexual not everyone enjoys sex i guess. I have heard of some people who only wanna smooch and maybe have a mutual wank and that’s it. Many people may not understand it because it is not common but that is life. If Jace says he likes to watch then he is probably what is called a Voyeur.
Jace i really hope you find someone you can be with who would totally get you.
Well …. Jace … I think it’s normal for one to be like that, I’m like that but in a rather unusual way … And I really shake my head at peeps who think sex is everything a relationship has to offer , sex is good,fun,toxic but it’s not a tonic… @Kryss S I concur … Sex is good but there’s more to life than that …I think sex is overrated … And BTW y’all should go and get your voters card and national ID card … #TongueOut
Are you in any way a youth corper?
No @shuga chocolata , I’m not a youth corper .. Lol … Are you ?
*cries* OMG!!! I’m not alone, people like me exist.
See this one? “People like me exist”
Abeg park by the left biko! I don see you finish!
Ha! Dennis which kain pepper-bodi be dis today nah? Are u jealous of “WE” asexuals (yes,I’m now among), or what?You’re acting like “WE” are the ones that told u to desecrate ur body. Lol
I see what you did there!
god is watching you on HD!
Oh My God! Now that I think about it, I may be asexual too. Haven’t had sex, watch alotta porn but literally throw up when someone brings up the issue of sex with me.
Another thing is, honestly I don’t wanna meet a guy by sexting or any equivalent BUT. Like the love at first sight sorta shit.
Oh My God I’m asexual… #WorstSelfDiscoveryEver
Mehn i wish to b like d asexual guys someday o but that’s if only my body and most ultimately my guy (dick) won’t react the moment it is touched.
i swear this is me! if u reading this bae u know why i am the way i are
Wow it appears the universal set we call Nigerian gays is a set of all sets that is not heterosexual. Now everyone is asexual. Oga o
As in eh, my brother
I tire ooo. Everyone is now either a virgin or asexual
God is watching y’all in 3D
First we share a Pseudonym and then this piece is all about me. Asexuals are a minor faction of the minority and though it is a cold and lonely path, I don’t mind continuing down the road.
I reserve my comment.
Everybody is now Asexual abi?
Na only Dennis be slut?
Don’t worry Pinky will soon share a photo of David Macintosh nude and all the previously asexual hoes will crawl out!
Nansense *in ghanian accent*
Hahahahaa. The thing weak me o, DM
Aww Mehn! Why u gotta bring Dave into dis,dennis? U know he’s my weak point! *sobs*
Wow Jace! Wow! I’ve read about persons who are asexual but i didnt really think they existed lol. I have a normal healthy sex appetite which ebbs and flows upwards or downwards depending on my general mood or circumstances at the relevant point in time. I honestly find it extremely hard to believe that its possible to NOT have an interest in sex. I am also confused as to how you get horny and then dont want to have sex, its like being thirsty and having no desire to drink… well, what do i know sha? So long as you’re comfortable with yourself, keep being you! You may o r may never find the one who can deal with your asexuality … regardless, your true happiness lies within you … it will however be a long lonely road as 99% of males (gay or straight) love sex …
Like being thirsty and having no desire to drink. That’s golden.
No one wants you if u aren’t giving it up. Everybody in the gaybourhood lives on the fast lane. I switched gears when I got tired of ppl turning away when they notice I don’t go all commando when sexual advanced are being made. Jace just has to shift grounds to accommodate ppl cos leading a lonely and boring life is like opening a flood gate for depression. Its one of the many battles I fight everyday. So dear friend you just ve to make some changes. Trust me! There is so much talking and hugging that ppl are willing to do. Before wanting more
Lol. True that.
I love this Khaleesi ehn 😍
Thanx Hun… luv u too! ***plants cherry red lipstick kiss on your cheeks****
Jace I totally get you, I think ppl who are asexual behave differently! I ve gone 7 whole years without so much as a peck on the cheek with another being. And no, I was well over 18 at the time. Just like you, I get turned on by watching or imagining other ppl. But the cold truth is that its a boring,dark depressing life. To amp things up I tried my hand on a guy and its a life changing experience. So I think you ve to be ready to make a change for it to happen. Like I mentioned earlier we all react differently. There are times where a hot hunk will be flaunting his abs and cake and all I would want to do is yawn and sleep, and there are periods where I can watch porn and wank back to back.
Wait; SEVEN whole years without sex and romance? Please where are you?
Lol! Lagos, but that’s a couple of years back! Am slowly dabbling here. And there to stay sane.
Ndi asexual… Everyone is now an asexual… Even the pathological wankers… Asexuality according to the dictionary is-“Not experiencing sexual attraction; lacking interest in or desire for sex.
Not sexual in nature, not marked by sexual activity. ”
The last I checked, wanking is a sexual activity.. Being turned on by two guys paddling each other in porn is sexual attraction.. So ya’ ll should crawl back in your holes till we figure out how to categorize you.. Maybe Absexual (abnormal + sexual)…
You get turned off men for a few months, and suddenly, you be like, Oh yes, this must be it! I’m asexual! *rolling eyes from Monday to Friday*
Lol!!!!!! See beef max and pinky hahaha
But seriously what do we call folks with these wierd libido? cos its wierd na, that a full blooded healthy young man does not have an impressive catelogue of body counts? Cos I get that a lot ppl find it wierd that I ve not been around cos they expect you to have thoroughly passed through the neighbourhood
*extending it to sunday*
That’s what I was trying to say in my ealier comment; true asexual ppl don’t want ANY type of sexual activity,even wanking,do they?
…..asexual eh? I acknowledge the spectrum of sexual diversity all the way from BOOMshakalaka! to Confirmed Slut to MerelyHyper sexual to Normal to OnceInThreeMonths to Rrrrrreally Hyposexual to Dead.
As for asexuals, there’s always space on my surgical table to take out the Embolus….
Jace! I totally know and understand what you mean. I’ll leave it at that.
Jace you just might have found a partner in Blue….wink wink!!
Yeah, maybe *wink wink*
Daniel, Kryss,Colossus,PrudeBloke,HopelessRomantic,Imanni, the ‘other’Jace, Peak(my personal favorite), Ba(the wannabe) …oh and Chestnut too(token member…hehehe)…is dat d complete list? Did I leave anyone out? Drop ur name with me if u wanna sign up with K-DAA o! Tnx.
I don’t agree with not having sex at all. Yet I also don’t agree with sex being the focal point of a relationship. Unless two guys just agree to shag each other.
I believe there are times when you have no sexual desire or urge for a long period of time.Personally, there are times when i have no sexual iinterest for a long period of time especially times when i am trying to figure outsome major aspect of my life. Currently, e don dey reach one year since my last you-know-what because “boys gat to hustle”. When bar dey, nah boys like David McIntosh go dey warm my bed. 🙂
The truth z dat there r sum fins in lyf dat we can’t explain,d moment I realised dis I started living a happy life from within,believe it or not am like dat,sex z just no for me,I can’t just find d connection there no matter hw hot d romance can be
Ah Jace here is another true Asexual person I think…hmm this stuff just got real u all coz at the mouth of two or three (justme made it so..) somethings are established!!! Hmmm wink….wink…wink!!!
*sigh* these comments seff… I’m sure this is what the guy gets when he tells any person he meets he has no interest in sex. Weird looks.. People tryna tell him he doesn’t know what he is. That he is confused. “how can you say you don’t like sex till you try it?”. Well.. How do y’all know you won’t like sex with females till you try it. You just fucking know. Being asexual is a complex matter.. Just like being gay or bi or straight. It’s just a small label to try and help understand the complexity that is the human being. And for those of you who think it’s abnormal.. Remember people around you think being gay is abnormal.
And btw.. Just cause you stay off sex doesn’t make you asexual. The Pope and nuns and monks and Catholic fathers don’t have sex but we can hardly call them asexual.
Muah James, you’re so on point! C’mere ***plants big wet kiss on forehead***
If you are asexual, then you aint homoSEXUAL. Haha! If you are homosexual and you don’t like sex, you may just be HYPOsexual but NOT Asexual. For me, it doesn’t really matter. Sex aint no biggie. If I am fortunate (or shd I say unfortunate) to fall for such a person, just tell me exactly how you feel instead of lying there like a log of timber.
And…love will ALWAYS find a way…*wink*
Jace + blue + justme…..you guys are special! pinky maybe you should share their contacts with each other so they get together!!! Just might make that lonely road a little less lonely!!!
Well, if you ain’t gonna want to have sex with anyone, you’d just have to keep getting only those who wouldn’t want to get down with you as friends. Moreso, I think if you state it clearly to those proposing sex to you that you’re asexual, that should go a long way. Unlezz you’re dealing with bigots. But hey! You better be really asexual and dont use that excuse to turn some guys down. If you don’t like someone you tell them so, and not ‘asexual’.