Home has been fun and relaxing. Until today. Today, I have to mow the lawn, sweep and mop the floor (thanks to the recent paint job to the house), and then wash bathrooms. It doesn’t help that I’m like the only young person in the house. You know parents nah – call me from the room to get the remote in front of them. Well that’s mostly my dad. My mum likes to do things herself and could be quite the perfectionist. Last night, there were dishes in the sink and I pleaded with her to just go to bed because the dishes wouldn’t run away. They could be washed in the morning. But nooooooo. She just had to. And sleepy ole me couldn’t just leave her to do the dishes herself, so I got the job of rinsing. I swear, that woman! I’m sure if she had a heart attack and there were dishes in the sink, she would first do the dishes before calling an ambulance.
I do have this little cousin around though. I bully him a bit, but he gets to play with my Nintendo 3Ds, and watch legend of Kora on my phone, so he doesn’t complain. The feeling of power though.
I was going through a drawer one time, looking for a dividend warrant, when I stumbled on a piece of paper. And guess what… It was a love letter to my ‘wittle bwother.’ Not wanting to infringe on his privacy, I returned the letter and pretended I didn’t see it. After I read the whole thing of course. It was so cute I could die. It wasn’t one of those shuga-in-my-tea, buttah-in-ma-bread nonsense. It was legit love letter that made me want to scream to my brother: “WIFE THAT FEMALE BEFORE SHE GETS AWAY!”
For that matter, why hasn’t anyone written me a love letter before? I however did get cute texts from my first boyfriend though. And since then… Nothing. One of them used to tell me I was perfect, before the illusion was finally spoilt. Lol. I don’t feel perfect. I could do with some extra flesh in crucial areas. I think my knees are knobbly and my hair is just too much of a bother to comb. Meanwhile, my younger brother be looking like an Adonis. He is also light-skinned on top, and you know all them bitches be wanting to be light skin. I’m taller than my elder brother, my younger brother is taller than me. I’m lighter than my elder brother, my younger brother is lighter than me. It’s like we are all graded. Lol.
I’m on this regimen to reduce the number of times I wank. But of course that makes me horny often. And then I go out and I see these hard-bodied men with their shirts off. One of my neighbours even came to my house in just his boxers, and I tried not to stare. One day, I will serve him a drugged drink and have my way with him. That will teach him to be tempting a nigga. Bitch. Lol. Where will I find the liver to do that sef?
Life basically is grand, pending the time I have to go back to school and start eating my regular staples. I won’t even get fruit juice!
I downloaded The Script’s new album. And I love it! Thanks to my paddy who recommended it.
This post is short. There isn’t much to say. Y’all have a fab week ahead. Have me in your prayers so that all these straight niggas that want to be tempting a sister will not find me.
Oh, and a final thing. I like chocolate milk. Buh-bye!
Written by James