The first paper was good. Not really a surprise. I did study for the tests on each lecturer’s subject. I’m glad. However I have to face gross anatomy now, and not just your ordinary gross anatomy… This one is comparative gross anatomy, where I distinguish between the liver of a horse and that of a pig. I need to know the colour and number of lobules and other stuff I’d rather not bore you with. I keep staring at my notes and I feel so hopeless about it, hopeless enough to take a nap. Lol. I won’t take a nap because that would be foolishness. It’s my fault I’m not really prepared for the exam so I just have to suck it up and do whatever it is I can do, and pray to the high heavens that some weird miracle will happen. This is the point where I say I will never be unserious again, but er…we all know that’s never gon happen. Let me go and cram some notes.
During a study break on Tuesday, I remembered the horror with which most of y’all took my frequent tugging of my meat. So I decided to check out if there was something I should be worried about. Quite frankly, I couldn’t come up with anything. The problem lies when it interferes with your work and your performance in bed, and with a recent encounter, my performance in bed was quite good… and I had wanked the day before.
Wanking is a stress reliever – I know this – albeit a temporary one. Sometimes I even get a headache and I jerk off and it’s gone. Now about wanking, let’s say, three times a day, if I can do it, then why the heck not. Besides, it’s when I’m bored as hell that I tend to indulge… or when I see something particularly racy.
Let’s not kid ourselves. We are guys. We tug at ourselves more often than some of us care to admit (I know some of you don’t. I reserve my comments). I quite frankly feel no shame that I jerk off often. When I had steady lovers that kept me company, I didn’t need to jerk off. Now that it’s just me…Well… *stares at hand*
I’d like to go on and on about the benefits of self pleasuring, such as keeping your prostate healthy, but I don’t want to sound more psycho than I already do. So to all my fellas out there who love to beat their meat, go ahead! Enjoy it! Just don’t let it get in the way of actual life.
Just as I suspected, my Tuesday paper was bullshit. But there was no time to worry about it. I had another paper the next day.
The post on KD about the opinions of sixteen anti-gay people on homosexuality raised a lot of good points. But I still see a lot of unacceptability going in between my brothers and sisters. Some peeps be saying how they dislike the girly guys because they are so flamboyant and stuff. I heave a long sigh. Whatever happened to the freedom to be diverse and be who we are? Yes we get it, you’re butch and no one would suspect you’re gay and all. But just as you are butch, some of us are extremely flaming. And just as those people exist, there are those in between.
And why hate on our ‘sisters’? I feel it’s because they draw attention to themselves and stuff, and most of us just want to be on the low. Look, if you want gay people to be seen as solemn, hard core and whatever, go and organise your own gay pride full of solemn, hard core men in dull coloured tank tops and boring shoes.
And it’s these same flamboyant people who are taking the brunt of the homophobia. It’s because they exist that people even know gay people exist. The gay football player isn’t bullied much in high school; it’s the effeminate one with the weird outfits. Abegi! These sisters have enough on their plate. No need to add your own to it. And to be honest, it is one of the minor forms of internalised homophobia, if you really dislike girly people. I mean there are girly people who are so sweet and compassionate, like Tay my bestie (who I love very much, and then, there are the butch guys who are soooooo full of drama it makes Khaleesi look tame. Just because a guy likes the colour pink or looks like a rainbow vomited on him, doesn’t make that a good enough reason to condemn him. If they were just plain irritating from your getting to know them, then it’s a different matter. But judging them right on… well we know how much we hate to be judged without people knowing us first, so I rest my case.
I’m like my mother in so many ways. Insecure, sometimes talk too much, I worry about things beyond my control and I do stuff on impulse, especially buying rather unimportant things. But I’m also strong like her; sure she cries, but it’s not a sign of weakness. Tears in my opinion are sometimes just the sweat that comes with holding the emotional strain in and persevering.
But I am stubborn like my dad. I do things my way as often as I can and dislike when people tell me what to do or how to live my life especially when I did not ask for your input.
My mum told me a story about how my dad used to have these parties in his bachelor pad and then people would advise him to stop and shii. He put up a small notice on a sheet of paper in the living room saying, “Please note that all unsolicited advice will be duly ignored.” I laughed so hard when she told me the story, because that was basically how I was beginning to live my life.
Ever since she found out about my being gay she has been seeing more of my father in me and less of my compassionate self who would just sit in the kitchen with her and do the dishes while the dudes are watching football, or call to check up on her. I think she thinks I’m just refusing to change, that I’m just being stubborn. She has no idea how terrible it was to see her cry about the issue. Seeing your mum cry because of you gives you one of the most horrible feelings ever. She has had her moments when she annoyed the fuck out of me though, and it was partly due to her ignorance. The most irritating part was when she asked me to start doing a sport and stop amusing her by walking in her high heels (or attempting to walk in them. I dunno how ladies do that shii). I wanted to yell that learning to kick a ball around isn’t going to make me straight. But still things are much better than three years ago so.
It’s about 12:15am on Friday, and I just can’t wait for the weekend to commence fully. Sure I still have my books to read because I have another barrage of exams next week, including orals, but at least a couple of days when I’m not writing an exam is more than welcome. The lecturers in my department hate our class, and with good reason too. We are unruly and make lots of noise and are general troublemakers who try to get away with trouble making (not me though. I’m appalled by their behaviour. Lol). I think that’s why they fixed exams everyday for three weeks. However with each passing exam, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
When all this is over, I am going to sleep for three days straight, if I can.
These videos are for the Disney lovers. They are frigging funny, especially the one with Ariel and Co. And the guy is awesomely talented and cute… good white bf material for me. Hmmm…
After Ever After – DISNEY Parody:
After Ever After 2 – DISNEY PARODY:
Written by James