16 Opinions From Anti-Gay People Concerning Homosexuality

shutterstock_145027207Originally published in thoughtcatalog.com

The following are explanations sixteen people who are anti-gay gave concerning their stance on homosexuality. Read and let us know your thoughts, which opinions you agree to or not agree to.

1. Homophobic, but not anti-gay

‘People can be homophobic but not anti-gay.

‘I do not like seeing overly PDA for gay couples. Even for hetero couples it bothers me but maybe I have become more desensitized as I am more bothered by gay couples. I also am not a fan of what passes as “gay culture” these days. That being said, I have gone and voted for anything that is pro-gay rights. Just because I have a personal issue with it does not mean I cannot realize that from a political and legal perspective everyone should have the same rights.’

2. Overblown gay lifestyles

‘There’s a big difference in parading down the street in a pink tutu wearing a rainbow shirt as a man with a giant strap on and saying you want equal rights than showing people that gay relationships are normal. I think a lot of people who are outspoken about LGBT relationships fail to realize that in order to get respect they can’t tear down heterosexual relationships in the process, we all need to coexist. Attacking traditional marriage only serves to polarize and create homophobic sentiments. You cannot change people’s minds in general, they will change themselves if they grow and learn.

‘There is a huge push on channels like HGTV and MTV to educate people about gay lifestyles, but they really get way too overblown a lot, with borderline distasteful with jokes and flamboyant personalities, which are generally not representative of most LGBT people, and overblown and ratcheted-up for ratings. It’s kind of like the impressions/damage that bad rappers portraying gangster life do/show to people who don’t know black people. It creates bias and prejudice. I know real people, and that’s all I care about. The pink wigs, makeup, loud voices, etc are not real. Ellen is real, Wanda Sykes is real, George Takei is real, the public needs more real (in that sense) for their education.

‘Everyone can have fun, but I can’t help to think about how young eyes can see the sexual overtones on TV and get really bad ideas about it all, even the hetero scenes and just reality TV is so over-scripted and provocative these days to drive ratings. There is a much better middle ground where all relationships can be shown in a more realistic light which isn’t happening. In the same way I’m against PDA and even most (racy) hetero bedroom scenes shown on TV these days, when I want a porno I watch a porno. Some things should stay in the bedroom period among ALL sexual people for the greater good of society, some of yall are some freaky somabitchez… Not me, I’m waiting until I’m married to my 3rd wife.’

3. Overcompensating to cover the lost years

‘I asked my (gay) uncle about this, and he basically said he got enveloped in the “gay culture” because coming out felt so liberating to him after so many years of being in the closet (he came out when he was like 17). Nowadays, he still has the stereotypical “gay” voice, but otherwise he’s just a normal dude.

‘I think people largely tend to do it because they’ve found a culture that accepts them for it and encourages them to be more outspoken about it. They’re finally proud of who they are and proud that they don’t have to hide it anymore, so sometimes they get a bit extreme with it (he didn’t have that stereotypical voice until after coming out, so it obviously wasn’t inherent). Similar to how goths/hipsters/whatevers sometimes tend to go a bit overboard with it — the culture supports it, and you’re now around all of these new friends and want to feel like you’re part of the group.

‘Anecdotally, I’ve tended to see more older guys who are less “flamboyant” about it, and more younger ones who are more flamboyant (with plenty of exceptions, obviously).’

4. Don’t be just a gay person — you have more features than that

‘I don’t like gay culture. If being gay is your main defining feature, then you must be a very dull person.’

5. A follow up

‘As a gay man, it used to bother me a lot. Not to get into that whole feminine/masculine gay bullshit, but I never really fell into many gay stereotypes. Partially just because I didn’t, partially because I actively tried not to. To me, a lot of the gay pride events and stuff were too much. They were weird and excessive and gross. I figured that we would never be accepted if we seemed to be trying to stick out so often.

‘To this day, being gay does not define me. I don’t think of myself as gay first, I just happen to like other guys. But at the end of the day, I had it easy. I was born in a time where it’s becoming more accepted. I was never bullied for it. I came out in senior year of high school and people took it all so in stride, I never heard a single negative word. Other people don’t get that. So that “culture” is where they feel like they don’t need to hide it. They are who they are. They’re not ashamed of being gay. So it gets a bit insane. If that’s what makes them feel accepted, then who the hell am I to interfere.

‘Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.’

6. I’d love for there to be a gay awareness month, though

‘I’m only against the push for gay in society. I don’t care what you do. Stop bombarding me with it everywhere. I’m against the constant push in media and society. Here is a question for pro-gay. Why do you need everyone’s approval?’

7. They’re sexual deviants

‘I view homosexuals the same way I view any other sexually deviant groups (e.g. pedophiles, paraphiliacs, asexuals, etc.). I don’t think that true homosexuals choose to be that way, just as pedophiles don’t choose to be pedophiles. Instead, I believe that their brains are chemically different than heterosexuals’ brains, or that they have gone through some sort of trauma. In this way, homosexuality is not “normal” to me, but because it doesn’t harm others in the way that other sexually deviant groups can (e.g. pedophiles, bestiality), I don’t see any logical reason to stop them from getting married.

‘However, I also don’t see any reason for me to go out of my way to support homosexuality or support their attempts to make homosexual marriage legal. Like asexuality, homosexuality is a non-helpful trait that some people have, like an extra toe. It has no evolutionary advantage. If I were a homosexual or asexual person, I would probably try to ignore it and act heterosexual. After all, therapists try to treat pedophilia and bestiality. Why wouldn’t they try to treat homosexuality and asexuality, even if those orientations don’t overtly harm anyone? If other sexual preferences can be “treated,” then so can homosexuality. If they can’t, then homosexuality can’t be treated either. But I, personally, don’t know either way if sexual preference can be changed, so for now, I’m not going to go out of my way to either support or campaign against gay marriage.

‘That being said, the behavior of some (not all, of course) homosexuals is making it unnecessarily difficult for more conservative people to accept homosexuality. I went to a large liberal arts university in NYC, and some of the gay people I knew were just straight up inappropriate. For example, one male homosexual tried to finger my female friend, claiming that it was okay because he’s gay and just wanted to feel a vagina. Another gay friend consistently wore belly shirts, extra low-rise jeans, and thongs to class. A third gay hall-mate of mine kept hitting on my heterosexual friend in an attempt to “turn him gay,” despite constant rejection. Some gay people are also ridiculously loud, sing loudly when no one wants to hear them (e.g. on buses, in the library, etc.), and are generally outgoing in a bad way. Inappropriately flamboyant behavior like this violates societal norms, such as the norm of keeping genitals covered in public, or the norm to not sexually harass people, or the norm to not engage in overly sexual public displays of affection. Again, not all homosexuals are like this, but the ones that are stand out a lot and give homosexuals in general a bad name.

8. Heterosexual sex is a gift from God

‘I feel like there are very few actual quality comments, so here I go. As a Christian, I believe that God created us for heterosexual marriage. He created man and woman, and called it good. Heterosexual sex is a gift from God, it is something that we should cherish and delight in. Throughout the Bible, it is clear that homosexuality is a perversion of God’s original gift. It is something immoral. When I see a homosexual couple, it makes me sad. This is not because they sicken me, disgust me, or because I think that somehow I am better than them. It saddens me because they are partaking in an act that is the very perversion of the good gift that God granted us. I do not think that Homosexuality is a choice. It is very obvious through the homosexuals that I talk with and I’m friends with, that it is not a choice. However, this does not mean it is alright to act on these urges. If a man had powerful urges for theft, lying, or adultery, he would not be sinning. The urge itself is not a sin. However, if you act on them, it is wrong. The way that most anti-gay activists treat homosexuals (including me) is to try and love them. “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” It is a very cliché quote, but it is true. I just try to love them and if the topic comes up, explain to them why I don’t think that it is right.’

9. Because religion and anti-gay rhetoric

‘I’m no longer anti-gay, but when I was, it was for religious reasons. I grew up in a religious community that was full of “sympathy” for gay people (of the “aww you poor damned soul, stop being gay” variety), but demanded complete social respect for its own beliefs (of the “refusal to fund my religion, and only my religion, with tax dollars is literally discrimination” variety). There’s something about that “be tolerant of others as long as those others are just like me” mindset that can be found in a lot of places (atheist communities are another). However, when your beliefs are preventing families from forming, there’s something wrong here.

‘After leaving my faith, it took a while to fully recover from my bias. It happened in phases.

“Wow, it’s alright that these people are gay.” “Wow, it’s alright for these people to get married.” “Wow, it’s alright for these people to raise kids.”

‘I anticipate that this thread will have LGBT supporters all up in arms with their witty slogans to hurl at religious/otherwise anti-gay people.

‘I am but a lowly redditor, but I’d like to offer some advice to people who think one-upmanship is the way to change minds: it’s not, so please don’t do that.

‘Have conversations. Show the people who hate you that you’re human, a dynamic being who just happens to be into sex with a certain gender/be supportive of non-hetero folks. Be polite. It’s infuriating to hear “you shouldn’t get married because groooooss.” I know. But know that we’re still on the right side of history and debates like this will be a thing of the past so, so soon.’

10. Morality is not always black and white

‘I have a couple of thoughts on this. First, it really depends on how you define Anti-Gay, because while I have some opinions about homosexuality that are definitely contrary to the majority of society, I do not in any fashion consider myself anti-gay. I come from a Christian background, and my faith is a large part of my life today, so like most Christians, I consider homosexuality to be a sin. However, what I believe is that it’s not something that makes someone any worse than any other person in the world. My beliefs tell me that we are all broken people who all do wrong things. I lie, the thief steals, and Walter White makes meth. My beliefs state that no one sin is any worse than another. To God, lying is just as bad as homosexuality. Therefore, to hate, condemn, shame, or otherwise drag someone down for being homosexual is saying that the sins I have committed are inconsequential. In this situation, I ignore what I have done and focus on what you have done in order to make myself feel better about what I’ve done. This is hypocrisy, and I choose not to partake of it.

‘On a slightly different, but related note, I also understand that morality is a grey shape, not always in black and white. Often, what I believe to be wrong is the same as what you believe to be wrong; e.g., murder, theft, rape, and so forth. However, I also understand that you and I will share grey zones. I believe homosexuality is wrong, you don’t. That’s fine. I respect that we have differences, and I believe those differences are a large part of what makes humanity incredibly beautiful, and thus ought to be deeply respected. This is what contributes to a pluralistic society. I understand we are different, I respect you for being different, and I humbly request that you respect me for being different for you. However, one of the hallmarks required for pluralism to function is that I don’t force you to believe what I believe, and you don’t force me to believe what you believe. We have a freedom of choice, and above all, I think that should be respected.

‘However, I think it is important for me to add the reason why I believe I’m not anti-gay. Jesus Christ was not known for hanging out with the people who went to church, paid their taxes, and were “holy.” He hung out with the prostitutes, the tax collectors, and the people that his society said were “dirty.” Why should I hate someone that has probably had a life made very difficult by their sexuality? For that matter, why should I hate anyone because they disagree with me? If anything, these are reasons for love; we’re different, and that’s AWESOME. So that’s what I believe I should do. Love others, because they are human.

‘I’m Not anti-gay, I choose to love all people (’cause we’re people), but still disagree with homosexuality.’

11. Being gay is fine, stop being so flamboyant

‘I think that the gay community is going about their rights and integration movement the wrong way. In a perfect world, there shouldn’t be anything else attached to being homosexual except for attraction to the same sex. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I have absolutely no objection to that kind of thing. Personally, I’m not into it, but I’m not going to throw up and rage if two men start kissing. It’s just two people attracted to each other. Big fucking deal. However, people are packaging in the whole effeminate, colourful, flamboyant image in with homosexuality. If the gay rights activists really want to stop discrimination, they should stop advertising gay people as flamboyant and in-your-face. Therefore, stuff like gay pride parades and rainbows are kind of counter-productive. It makes the heterosexual majority think that they’re a different kind of person, when in truth, they’re not. When television and advertisements start using gay people as people, not symbols, then they’ll get somewhere.’

12. Because Christianity says it’s a sin

‘Conservative Christian here, thought I’d weigh in on how we Christians feel. Yes, the Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin. Yes, I believe this to be true. However, I am of the opinion, politically, that the Constitution (or more accurately, the Bill of Rights) creates a separation of church and state, and that because of this, the Bible teaching that something is wrong should not make it illegal. I firmly believe that gay couples should have the legal right to do whatever they please, so long as it doesn’t harm others (and it doesn’t, obviously). In other words, even the level-headed among us conservative Christian folk from the deep American South are able to separate our opinion on the morality of an action and our thoughts on whether the action should be legal. From a Christian standpoint, for anyone who is gay but also believes in God and sees it as sin, it has GOT to be the single most powerful temptation there is. As far as legality goes, though, do whatever you want. Thanks for reading. Please know I don’t hate gay people. I’m here to present to you how we Christians actually feel.’

13. Too promiscuous and accusatory

‘As a gay man, I absolutely hate the gay community.

‘For a large part of last year, I had a somewhat large (roughly 15 or so people) friendship group, who dubbed themselves ‘The gays group’. The group started off quite small and harmless, and was generally just used as a way of making excuses to have small fun gatherings with each other. Over time this group grew due to the more outspoken gay men and lesbians wanting more homosexuals to join the group. As a result, the ‘gatherings’ ended up being just one giant orgy, where all of the gay men eventually had slept with each other. I personally did not partake in any of these ‘activities’, and due to this, I was always told I was such a ‘bad gay’. For a long time I was berated to these comments. I was literally told, by the very community I was a part of, how to act, think, and do. I wanted to be a part of none of this, and did eventually leave this group and barely talk to any of the members involved. Not long after I did, the group actually fell apart, because honestly how could something so vile sustain itself. Since then, all of those gay men, one of which was my best friend of 7 years, have moved on to the much larger gay scene, being the two local gay bars in my city. I myself have been to these gay bars, and it was evident that the group I was a part of was not very different from that of the actual gay community. I look at many of those involved in the gay community in my city, and I just think of the friends I once knew. They all end up being the exact same. They all have ‘relationships’ with one another, ones which are lucky to last a month, ones where they sleep around with other regardless of being in a relationship. Yet it doesn’t faze any of them at all. It’s all just so toxic. When I see this, I really don’t blame people for being anti-gay.

‘Now I know there are exceptions, like myself. Often I wish I weren’t gay. Not because I hate myself, I believe in myself too much for that, but because being straight would be just so much more easier. I eventually want to marry, I want kids and a house, I want to have a regular, boring future. At the current time, it just doesn’t seem possible as nearly every gay person I meet is fully immersed into the gay scene. It’s just sickening. I am gay, but by the standards that have been set, am I really?’

14. They were really mean

‘Every gay I’ve met thinks they’re classier and better than me.’

15. It’s not normal

‘I would probably be one who popular media would describe as a bigot, homophobe, overall horrible person, etc. But, I don’t hate homosexuals, nor does the thought of homosexual acts particularly bother me, so I may not be fully qualified to participate in this thread, but here goes.

‘I do not believe that homosexuality is “normal”, and, I find the contemporary assertion that one should accept it as so to be ridiculous. All people have certain sexual proclivities, and, homosexuality just happens to be one of them. If one were to be attracted to a relative of theirs, and if this attraction was mutually felt, and they were to begin a sexual relationship with said relative, I would have no real issue with this (as long as they were both consenting adults). But, if you were to tell me that this is somehow “normal”, that I should accept it as such, and that people who were in incestuous relationships should be allowed to marry, have children, start throwing parades, etc etc, I would have a problem with that. It is not normal, everyone knows that it’s not, if you deny that it’s not, you are lying to yourself, and if you try to make me into a bad person for accepting the truth of the situation, I see you as a self deceiving, verbose, sanctimonious fool, who needs to make yourself feel good (for what, I do not know)! And so, that is how I feel about homosexuality!’

16. Don’t force a church to marry a couple

‘My dad is fine with gay people in general, but he’s typically against gay marriage because he doesn’t want a gay couple to force a church to marry them. I’m for gay marriage, but I very much agree with that. A church, or any other private institution that has the ability to perform marriages, has every right to not marry you. I don’t want a gay couple to force a catholic priest to marry them, or any other denomination. If a priest/Rabbi/Imam whatever is cool with it, so am I, and so should everyone else. But if they aren’t, you should respect that.

‘However, if you are a legal official, like a Judge, who sometimes perform marriages, you can suck it up. You don’t have the right to refuse. You are an extension of the people, acting on their behalf, and if the people vote for gay marriage to be allowed in your state/country, then you have to go with it, whether you like it not.

‘Anyway, the ‘not forcing churches to marry gay couples’ is fairly common, and I’m sympathetic to it, and I feel like any law that include gay marriage should probably spell that out.’

*

Back to me, there’s something about Number 10’s remarks that is very compelling.

57 thoughts on “16 Opinions From Anti-Gay People Concerning Homosexuality

  1. This is a very very compelling read. Each time I see a point, I go like “hell yeah, very true” then I see another point and I say “Much better than the previous”. I am still shaky about my sexuality, not knowing whether to accept or deny it and each time I see such publications, I hate being gay all the more. The wahala and guilt dey too much. The promiscuity is unending, the “shove it down your throat and all in your face” attitude is what I can’t deal. I totally understand these reservations of these people because I have them myself and feel that I would I had the same mindset if I was straight.

  2. Some of the points made sense and some are down right ridiculous. Who gets to decide what the standards should be for right and wrong?

    It’s okay for Rihanna to go receive an award practically stark naked and to be applauded as a “style icon” and if a guy wears low rise jeans with a crop top he is “pushing the gay agenda too far”? Do we have double standards?

    I have a few straight friends that know about my sexuality and nothing annoys me more than when they say “I like you, you act normal, you are not like other gay men I know. Those ones are annoying sha, the way they rub it in your face”. I like to remind them that there are different archetypes in the gay community and no one is better than the other and no one should be more “socially accepted”, whatever that means.

    At the end of the day, people should be allowed to be themselves and write their own rule book.

    • Dennis,I’m sorry boo,but I don’t completely agree with u. Maybe I’m conservative and old-fashioned( and no, I don’t hav “internalized homophobia”). It’s ok for rihanna to wear a sheer dress because she’s a WOMAN, women are allowed (even expected) to wear sexy,revealing outfits,but that doesn’t mean a man should walk on d street in booty-shorts and a cropped top and expect d same accolades as rihanna,just because d world applauded rihanna’s transparent dress.it’s not d same for a man and a woman and I don’t think it’s double standards. Whether we like it or not,there IS socially-acceptable and socially-unacceptable. I’m one of those who believe a gay man is still a TOTAL man,irrespective of sexuality.

      • You jux took the words out of my mouth Chestnut. That a man’s sexuality is different from the conventional norm of attraction to the opposite sex doesn’t change his sex. I’m against men dressing up as women and flaunting the beach in bikinis, half nude,all behind the power of gay-freedom is total bull. And we say we wanna fight for equal right, when you haven’t truly made a demarcation between civil and callous? *PS :I don’t see the relevance of pride shows, they actually don’t relay any sensible info about homosexuality*

  3. I completely agree w numbers 2 and 4 with emphasis on the latter. Being gay shouldn’t define u or be the central point where your life revoles around. I’m of the belief that homosexuality should be a character trait not a distinct personality itself. Some guys blur the lines to the point where everything is modeled around the fact that they are gay…it overwhelms them and completely controls them to the point where I feel ( and this might sound a tad superstitious) that it alters their destinies. Just be gay don’t be ‘soo gay’

    • Lol. I get your point. And I happen to buy it. I guess, in the defense of people who let their sexualities define them is the fact that society makes your sexuality a point of judging you. When you’re gay, that’s all they see. Very few people tend to look for the other facets of you. That has a way of affecting the psyche of a gay man, especially if you’re defiant in your stance as a gay man. Pretty soon, being gay is all you let define you.

    • U aint never lied chizzie! Some guys tailor their entire lives around being gay! I know a guy who thinks his sexuality is the only defining factor of himself as a human being! D simplest tasks and statements have to make allusion to his gayness; choosing a simple meal becomes “I want to eat rice, u know we tbs like light meals”…deciding when to go out becomes “I want to go out in d evening; u know we tbs prefer hanging out in d evenings”…even drinking water becomes “pls don’t give me warm water o! U know we tbs like chilled water” (ok,maybe I’m reaching a bit with that one,but u get d picture lol). I’m like,dude, we get it,u’re “here and queer and proud” but do u have to point it out at every opportunity?

  4. so looong a letter! so long that I need a pen to jot down my thoughts as I go along cos by the time I read a few points, I’ve forgotten the previous ones … whew!

  5. I like this collection. A lot.

    And I’m happy that I’m in a good place in my life while reading them so even the ones that could have given me sleepless nights won’t.

    Quick words to some of the comments though:
    1. We are not seeking everybody’s “approval.” We just want everybody’s respect. Leave us alone and we leave you alone. Represent us in the media as well rounded and just as flawed as everybody else and we will stop wearing G-String to class.

    2. There’s not more to a gay person than being gay if society is largely heterosexual, hetero normative and homophobic (depending on clime). Until we get to that point gayness is considered a boring way of being, then we can talk. (cc: Commenter 4).

    3. I don’t believe everyone who disagrees with homosexuality is anti-gay. I agree with the comments to that effect and know nice people in this category.

    4. Who’s that who said all gay people are mean? *bursts into tears and covers face with red painted nails* Diarris god oooooooh!

    5. Ehen. Those who said they are against gay PDA, they should well done with their double standards oh. My God who is delivering my tattooed husband to me in perfumed box will visit them. Nonsense and ingredients.

  6. Ah pinky love this is too long and am in the office starring down a whole load of work..so I hope u don’t mind I pass…plus send more interesting reads biko…. my colleagues keep telling me am a lot happier whenever I read something on my galaxy note…eh that’s kito diaries darlings….

  7. I’m not gonna lie, I aint even mad at some of these points (although some of d sillier ones get a side-eye from me). I especially agree with d flamboyance and exaggeration of gayness. Some gay ppl do d most! U don’t have to wear a pink tutu and do d “sasha fierce” walk every time u’re on d streets for Christ’s sake!!! U don’t have to wear a blouse and leggings and enough lipgloss and a birkin “man-bag” to show u’re proud and fierce and super-hot( actually,I think it makes one look super “un-hot”!). Like that Magic Johnson’s fat son that always has to be so “extra” with all d sheer blouses and lace and leggings and bags and lipgloss (I wonder whether he thinks someone will take away his gay membership card if he doesn’t dress like a “real housewife of fat-Atlanta”!
    It’s okay to be urself but there IS such a thing as overkill. I just can’t,with all d extraness! And whether u like to admit it or not,it doesn’t paint us in good light.

    • Chestnut you are being condescending and down right silly. If we cannot accept the fact that there is diversity amongst ourselves, how do we judge those who cannot accept diversity in human sexuality.

      This is internalized homophobia, the same thing we preach against and today you are my second least favorite person on this blog.

      Just for today tho, I still love your silly self!

      • Hahaha! Denny,boo, I forgive u for calling me “condescending” and “silly”. I don’t think I’m any of those things tho; I can’t find everything u find acceptable, acceptable and vice versa. “Diversity” in what u decide to wear is veeeeery different from diversity in d sexuality u’re born with; u can’t choose d gender u’re attracted to, but u sure as hell can choose not to wear nail-polish and pink,bedazzled,sking-tight leggings, as a man. Choice of clothes is perfectly within one’s control; it’s not like choice of who u’re attracted to. And no, for d last time, wanting to see a man who dresses like a man is NOT internalized homophobia; it’s just common sense! Again,someone not sharing an opinion what u on a subject doesn’t make them silly or stupid. I must not find all sorts of diversity acceptable.do u find pedophilia to be an acceptable diversity? No. So u see,everyone must not accept EVERY type of “diversity”.
        (Pinky,I know dis is late so,I think dennis might not come back to see it…pls make sure he does,I’d like to continue dis discussion,if he wants to…ping him,mail him,call him,copy dis and send to him ,whatever,just make sure he sees it,plsssss! Tnx Luv!)

      • Chestnut, I take back all the “not nice” things I said about you! Forgive me!

        However even if you don’t like something, do not denigrate or condemn! Some gay men are loud and in ur face and carry sequined bags to work! They should have the freedom to do that without the rest of us judging them.

        There are different archetypes of gay men, no one is better than the other!

  8. Leaves me thinking; if I wasn’t gay what would my life be like… Happier than I am now? Sadder than I am now? Perfectly “normal”? *sigh* I just feel so insecure somehow.

  9. Love love love it!!!!!!!….Been waiting for this kinda stuff to come up …
    ‘As a gay man, I absolutely hate the gay community”-This is just me…I’m not happy the way gay ppl act..It has become increasingly difficult to see a gay person who doesn’t wear it as a badge to commit all sorts of sexual atrocities.. They give gays a bad name and make it difficult for people to take us seriously.
    When I see the weaves, make up and too much color on TV, I just laugh..Including people referring to themselves as girls (and when they say u behave like one, u get angry).
    Flamboyant t-shirts etc…People who made an impact in American gay community are the very respectable ones, people like Harvey Milk, Matt Bomer etc… Who dress properly and make ppl to see we r not so different.
    I’m not just gay…Being gay doesn’t define me.
    I’m a mix of other things…I love my hardcore video games, I enjoy soldering & doing technical electrical work…I tinker a lot…I love my techs…I know HW to cook but hate doing it..I don’t flip magazine covers looking for the latest fashion trend ..
    I’ve always had it in mind about being an activist…Gay people should be educated in many things….many things…just like one of the commenters said, you’ll find that they mostly live the same lifestyle everywhere u go(sex on demand).
    As for christianity, ever since I removed it from the equation, I’ve stopped being scared.I found out that all the fears I’ve ever had in my life was bcos of christianity.
    I don’t think being gay is a sin. Just bcos someone put up something (which can be misinterpreted) in the bible doesn’t make me an abomination…we r humans after all…Right from the moment we were created we betrayed out creator…And so I dare to challenge the presumed infallibility of the bible…

      • Errm, I don’t need to answer that…you know the answer…
        Bcos of how the majority of flamboyant ones package themselves, many things have become a gay thing…One example is cooking which u ppl always joke about here & making reference to “gay cooking gene”..
        Everyone is always out to get someone who makes a reference to something which is a norm in the gay community by labeling it stereotype.
        Glad I made my point loud n clear..
        Maybe I’m a bit conservative, maybe not…

      • My dear, no one has said any tin here about a ‘gay cooking gene’. Jeez! That even sounds ridiculous. The joke is that the things gay people are expected to do (genes) is lacking in some of us. Like cooking. That doesn’t make a man who cooks gay. Nor a man who checks out fashion trends gay. Easy on the projection of your pet peeves abeg.

  10. This is the issue with allowing people to be free and voice out opinions. It will always conflict with some other persons own. At least it’s not a cat fight here. I say live and let live. If a dude wants to dress up in a tutu then by all means do! Afterall some straight men want to wear girls clothes. See ehn.. All the lines have been blurred. There’s no more too much… and it’s only going to get worse/better depending on how you look at it. I just pray I’m long gone before people start campaigning that incest should be considered normal.

    And those of you feeling guilt. If you didn’t think what you were doing was wrong then you wouldn’t feel the guilt. You need to sit and be honest with yourself and decide how you want to go with your life. You can never be happy with yourself or anyone if what’s a part of you makes you feel miserable.

    About the promiscuity. I’ve said it before and ill say it again.. we are dudes, living in an age where sex is the norm, and we have testosterone… we aren’t exactly going to talk about our feelings when we meet up (I know this doesn’t apply to everyone). So you just have to learn to deal with it and quit complaining. I’m pretty sure as hell you wouldn’t mind a casual hook up if a hot guy asked for it. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong I’m just saying it’s the reality. Abi you want to say all straight men are loyal to their wives or girlfriends? What with all this side chic talk you see on twitter and instagram. Purrlease!

    • 5kisses for you James! Thankyou!

      Too much internalized homophobia!

      Harvey milk and Matt Bomer, who dress respectably? I was gonna shout and then I saw
      “Gay people should be educated in many things”

      At this point I will rest my case, no need flogging a dead horse. If that’s your state of mind, God bless you!

      So much for diversity!!!

      • Just bcos ure attracted ppl who climb 5inch heels doesn’t mean its all gud…Everyone wanks but they don’t do it in public…and yes No drag has ever made a substantial impact in the LGBT community, name one…And since u like flamboyant dressing so much, why don’t u dress like that??

      • But Dennis, I have to admit to some dissension. Its not always internalized homophobia if a gay man doesn’t want to see his fellow gay man strutting down the street clad in a remake of the infamous Jlo Grammy Versace gown. The dude dressed like so has a right to do so, yes. But if I sneer at it, I shouldn’t be slapped with the offense if internalized homophobia. I could simply be much to conservative for such outrageousness.

  11. Whew! Such a long, winding article, it touched on so many different things. It went everywhere and touched on anything in between everywhere. My mind was constantly scrambling to absorb concepts and articulate my responses and feelings towards them. I shall mostly touch on the ones that I feel most strongly about. Here goes …
    If you think its ok for a straight couple to freely show PDA in public but for frown on the same for gays, duh, you’re still in the clutches of homophobia.
    Gay parades and pride marches are flamboyant, overblown and over the top? Huh? What about the Rio Carnival as well as several other major carnivals across the globe? Even in Calabar here in Nigeria, the carnivals frequently feature scantily clad women. Gay prides are largely carnivals. Flamboyance and larger – than – life exaggeration are part and parcel of them, live with it or shut yourself indoors while it lasts **pulls on her tightest bum shorts and joins the next pride march**
    Gays do not reproduce and are therefore useless to society: what about heterosexuals for who due to choice or circumstance cannot/will not reproduce? Are they automatically useless? The emphasis on reproduction arose from Abrahamic religions which are a relic of the jewish nation. A tiny nation sorrouned by hostile enemies, it was imperative that they bolster their populace by reproducing exponentially, after all their fighting force would be drawn from their able – bodied population. Most parts of the world are now more than adequately populated, indeed over – population is a looming threat. Abrahamic religions were propounded and practiced by people who’s reality, motives and circumstances differ widely from our present day reality. I think its foolhardy to allow my life be dictated by moral codes as propounded by them, 4000 years later. Hellz to the No!!!!
    Please, how does my fucking another man hurt you in the same way that my lying to you or stealing from you do? Tell me pls.
    If gay pride events are unnecessary and counter productive, think about why any group which has a common bond/struggle feels the need to commemorate their shared experience. E.g several countries as well as several diverse groups within them have annual events where a common shared theme is celebrated or commemorated. Gays have had a long bitter and sometimes deadly struggle, pride is a means to celebrate whatever gains they’ve won for themselves as well as to highlight the struggles which lie ahead, all in a carnival atmosphere.
    Christianity says its wrong … **stop there!! BBM talk to the manicured hands smiley*** … if you’re going to allow the folklore and customs of a band of jews regulate your life thousands of years later. Have fun, its your personal problem, not mine! Thanks for raising the point that church and state are to be strictly separated and that morality cannot be allowed to regulate legality. Thanks for your honesty! This is a concept that primitive Nigeria and much of Africa is unable to grasp … someday perhaps.
    Gays are promiscuous … huh?!* and straight people are not? Smh … promiscuity exists, I cant say how or why (story for another day maybe) … promiscuity exists all across the sexuality spectrum. I sense that promiscuity has (in varying degrees) always been part and parcel of mankind. The regulations imposed by religion and culture are a means of attempting to justify our regarding sex as a taboo topic (I stand to be corrected), research into the lifestyle of several diverse primitive societies tells of sexual promiscuity being rampant. Promiscuity is not exclusively a gay thing. It is a HUMAN thing.
    Gays are not normal. So, what is normal? Twins, triplets and other multiple births are abnormal as well, indeed until a few decades ago we killed them in this part of the world! Being left – handed (like I am), is abnormal as well, babies born with down syndrome are so because of a genetic abnormality (Dennis Macaulay shebi you be Dr, oya over to you), even blue eyes which several Caucasians have and which some persons find so appealing are actually a deviation from the normal black or brown eye colour of human beings. There is soooo much abnormality in nature because nature is not perfect. If you think an abnormality which causes you no harm is enough reason to persecute and kill, oya ooo, draw your weapons and get busy!
    I agree that a church cannot/should not be forced to perform marriage rites on gays. I personally think any gay person who insists on belonging to a church which abhors and despises him needs to have his head and self – esteem critically examined.
    There, that was a long one, hope I didn’t bore you with my endless droning ***hugs***

      • ermm Dennis, since you didnt specify if the kiss is on the cheek or forehead or lips, I’ll assume it for the lips ***smiles, closes eyes, nibbles Dennis lower lips, starts to slide tongue in mouth, hears Mrs Macaulay’s footseps, jumps out the window in panic … whew***

  12. Someone says it’s internalized homophobia but ‘gay culture’ locks out the gay minority who don’t wanna be loud, proud, colorful, flaming, expressive or special.

    That stereotype is the elephant in the room.

    Even here on KD…

    • @ Lanre, oh please!!! thats a cheap shot! when has any gay person been discriminated against or badly treated by other gays on account of his choosing to be muted and subdued. It NEVER happens! you’re carrying things too far, loud. expressive gays have never and will never “lock out” subdued, muted gays. A lot of the gays you call flamboyant are simply creative persons employing light – hearted antics to release inner creativity. Its all harmless fun, except to persons with internalized homophobia issues.

      • Khaleesi- it works like a caste system, an unspoken but brutal apartheid – that’s exactly why it so oppressive. It’s not ever openly carried out. The sheer numbers and roaring aggression of the very many lionesses in the pride overwhelms and drowns out the tiny yelps of that lonely mancub, who slinks away, long thick tail between his legs, to go lap water at the zebra pool…

  13. Damn! Been at work all day just to get on KD and run headlong into this sensitive gist.
    Personally, the only reason why I’m attracted to a guy is because he is a GUY!
    If I find that little effeminacy, I completely lose interest.
    Like I normally tell my peeps, if I want a lady, I go for a lady. Then again, it is pertinent to note that some people are born naturally effeminate, some born naturally vain and some are naturally interested in fashion trends. The funny thing is that I know people in all of these categories who aren’t even gay!
    The most important thing is that we carry ourselves with some dignity…
    And as for Dennis Macaulay, Khaleesi and Mrs Macaulay, I travelled o!
    King, Oh King! Where forth art thou?

  14. So much has already been said so i dont think i need to say more. I agree with a lot of the “anti gay” comments. Again , sometimes i wonder if we are really any different from those who judge and condemn us. Because even here in this forum, people have at one time or the other said nasty things about lesbians, bisexuals and even guys who dont like penetrative sex. Makes me wonder, if some of us were straight, wouldnt we be worse than these homophobes? We crave and even demand to be understood but we are very unwilling to understand and accept others, even those who are different among us. If a person believes that homosexuality is a sin, he is entitled to his opinion. If you want people to accept you as you are, be ready to accept them in return. And note that accepting doesnt mean you change your opinion or you force another to change theirs. It just means we “live and let live”.

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