Society thrives of stereotypes more often than not. And when those stereotypes surround issues that society does not have a firm grasp on, it tends to find it hard to shake off these conceptions. And that is why there are lots of stereotypes about homosexuals which may often times be true, but are simply not as blanket as the general population would like to believe – such as that all gay men are sluts, all gay men want to drill ass, HIV is a given with gay sex, all gay people are religious deviants, yada-yada-yada. These are the reasons why movements for the gay cause exist, to educate society in the need to see us as people first, and homosexuals second. Perhaps, that will help eradicating these pesky conceptions of our sexuality.
But what about those stereotypes that gay people themselves perpetuate amongst themselves? An acquaintance of mine shared something with me, a recent occurrence in his life. And because it’s something that I find galling, I decided to share it here, to know your thoughts on the issue. Here’s what he had to say:
‘When I moved to Calabar, I asked a friend of mine to hook me up. I needed a sex partner, someone to go steady with, because I didn’t want to sleep around. My friend did. I met the guy he hooked me up with, and we hit it off. He’s Top.
‘Soon, I got to know him better. He sleeps with at least two guys on a good day, and has like five guys that I know of who believe they are his boyfriends. I didn’t judge him for it though.
‘Then he started turning me down sometimes, and I didn’t like it. So I decided to stop having sex with him entirely, and asked him to hook me up with someone else. He must not have liked it, because then he called me a slut (imagine THAT!). I reminded him of his five boyfriends and the fact that he still fucks any available ass. And he said it’s different in his case, because it’s okay for a Top to sleep around, but disgusting for a Bottom to sleep around.
‘I don’t get the logic in that. Do you?’
Well then, guys, does anyone get that logic, why it’s okay for a Top to sow his oats as he deems fit, but ‘disgusting’ for a Bottom to do the same? Let’s discuss…about this stereotype (and any other one) that we gay people perpetuate amongst ourselves.