I normally don’t mix business with pleasure, so I keep relationships at work formal, knowing where the lines are and drawing them clearly. I am nowhere near perfect, but I do have a strong definition of what’s ethical and what’s not.
Just bear with me and follow the course of my blabbing. Last year, a new guy started working at my company, and at that time I was in the supply chain management unit. So I was always at the warehouse, shipping out orders or taking inventory. The new guy was very cute, nice round bottom (my weakness) and all; but In spite of my attraction to him and his “come hither signals”, I maintained a safe distance, keeping things between us very formal. After a few weeks, I attended a birthday party thrown for one of my pals; it was basically a “guys only” party and the new guy was in attendance, with his face lighting up when he saw me. He later began hounding me on Whatsapp; I replied his messages but stayed away from the sexual innuendos. He was my subordinate after all.
Eventually he made a big mistake that cost the company some money and I gave him an official reprimand, one which he responded by filing a counter claim, alleging sexual harassment. He told my superiors that I’d been sleeping with him, and that I was just picking on him because he stopped having sex with me. It was a nightmare I wish I never went through.
I was made to face a humiliating panel where I was questioned. They even tried to patronize me with that “it’s okay if you are gay, but you cannot sleep with coworkers” attitude, complete with that annoying tone straight people use when they pretend to accept your sexuality. The case was eventually dropped and the boy was fired, and I put it all behind me, even though I can still see the eyes of my coworkers judging me. Not that I care anyway.
So the point of this article is: why are we our own worst enemies? Why do gay men stab other gay men in the back all too easily? Just last week, a friend that I hold very dear also experienced a sexual harassment situation, very similar to the one I passed through. He could have lost his job, just because another guy set him up.
Why do we have so much jealousy and pettiness amongst us, which always drives us to do vile things to one another? Why can’t we just get along and support one another without catty envy. I would think that homophobia and bigotry are big enough enemies for us to contend with that we should not go ahead destroying ourselves. We can support one another, no need for negativity.
Last Christmas, I was in charge of our Christmas party and award night. I made sure all the vendors I gave contracts too were gay men (who were professionals anyway). For me, it was an opportunity to help gay men like myself who had their own businesses. In my opinion, we should all be doing this.
We should start supporting one another, support and patronize a friend’s business because he is good at what he does and yes, for the fact that he is gay. Nepotism is allowed on this count in my opinion, so feel free to lend a helping well manicured hand. Let us put aside petty fights and band together to help each other.
I read a quote by a wise person (whom I would love to believe is a woman): “Putting out another person’s candle won’t make yours brighter.”
There is a lot of pull-him-down amongst us and it’s really sad. I once read about a Nigerian male celebrity who was outed by the loud mouth, Linda Ikeji; she gave very specific details including roles and nicknames. Details that only gay people would know. Obviously, it’s the friends of the said guy who spilled to Linda. And for what purpose? Keep in mind that it’s gay people who point out other gay people to be outed, and gay people also take part in very horrible ‘kito’ stories.
Let us support one another and resist the temptation to pull down another (gay) person, for no reason other than petty jealousy. We already have so much hate against us, no need to add more.
Written by Dennis Macaulay; he works as a Brand Executive in Port Harcourt. Follow him on twitter @Eko_bloke