AFTER THE LAW WAS PASSED. . .

sad-black-manI read about it on Linda Ikeji’s blog. I was at work that day and I spied something about it on my friend’s Blackberry pm, and I just knew the gossip queen, Linda would have the full gist. So I checked her blog and there it was: the signage into law of a new status quo. One that had instantly turned folks like me into potential criminals and jail prospects.

As the day drew to an end, as I monitored the blogosphere and observed the virtual war that raged between the self-righteous majority of heterosexuals and the indignant minority of gay activists, I fell to the clutches of depression. The opinions were flying with rapid-fire intensity across the internet.

The sick bastards, this is what they deserve!

Judge not that you may not be judged…

Go to hell, gays! But first of all, go to jail!

If it is your brother or sister who you discover is gay nko…

This is an abuse of a minority’s human rights!

Jonathan doesn’t realize what he has done!

God help us! God help Nigeria! Continue reading

UNFAITHFUL 1: IT’S ALL ABOUT SEX

African-Amerian-man-thinkingA fucking gay-me

We’ve heard it a million times. It’s the very first line spoken in the series “Queer as Folk”. It’s all about sex! Gays can’t keep their dicks in their pants or in one dude. Fuck love in this “game”. Interestingly, women complain of a similar problem: All men are the same! Yet many women go on to marry…men. In monogamous relationships. (Whether the husband cheats on the side is beside the point.)

So how does this work for them? How do women eventually find love with men while many gays lose hope that there’s that one man out there for keeps, even if for one faithful year?

Individual dick-fferences

Psychology, in collaboration with biology, says most men, are wired to be fine with the superficiality of sexual gratification – compared to women who, early in life, already want the security and constancy a relationship provides. However, my stand is this: that my gender is predisposed to a certain mode of behaviour does not mean everybody who identifies as that gender will behave similarly. In some respects, I am like other guys, and in other respects, I am not. Continue reading

Hilarious: Question Of The Day

Following the post about the thief who stole from a kind brother, and the rampant spread of the link on the social media (for which I thank all you beautiful, fine Kito-Diaries-ians), someone tweeted the question below to me and Bisi Alimi. Read, my dear brethren. Read and weep. Or not. 🙂stc

So tell me, guys, Are there gay men in Nigeria? Or are we all here a bunch of spirits risen from the graves to come share a giggle or two in the land of the living?

LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY

Hello, guys. It’s yours truly, Pink Panther, and I have embarked on a fictional series, one which I will be updating once every week. The story will be chronicling the city life of a Lagos dude – his hook-ups and break-ups and sexcapades and all-what-not. I’m not going to hold back on the raunchiness, so all ye prudish readers, try not to protest too much at my use of strong language, will you? 🙂

Here it is, the episode one. Read and enjoy.

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LOVE AND SEX IN THE CITY (Episode 1)

China GBC ProjectI went to the birthday party on Thursday night. I didn’t think I’d have a very good time but I ended up enjoying the night immensely, but that wasn’t because of the actual party.

Yinka and I arrived fashionably late, and everyone else was already there, although I wouldn’t have a clue, I didn’t know any of them apart from Yinka. It was his friend who was hosting the small bash. The apartment was in a secluded part of Ajah, the party was in full swing, and some hips were already rolling to something Flavour was crooning through the speakers. I took a quick visual reconnoiter of the house as we sauntered in, and my heart sank because I couldn’t see any cute guys at all. Continue reading

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE HELP

This is quite the graphic narrative, a walk down memory lane by a new Kito-Diaries-ian, Brandon Rock. Like I said, it’s real and its graphic, a cautionary foreword for readers with delicate sensibilities. Otherwise, read and . . . well, enjoy. Lol.

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NigerianDuring my senior secondary school days, I always joined my landlord’s kids to school in their car because they passed through the route to my school, and that was a great convenience. It was also a slight inconvenience because since they always woke up early in order to beat the usual morning traffic congestion in the city of Port Harcourt, I had to wake up early too.

On this fateful morning, I woke up unusually early. I was dressed up for school and was idling away. I knew my landlord’s children wouldn’t be ready at the time; I however decided to go wait for them outside their bungalow until they were ready to leave.

It was about a few minutes past 5am when I got into their compound. The compound was dead quiet and empty, except for Akpan, one of their drivers, who was washing the car. I’d seen Akpan regularly and never took any interest in him.

Until that morning. Continue reading

BUNKSIDE FRENZY (Episode 2)

photoshootIt started shortly after my fifteenth birthday.

As usual, Mum and Dad, always looking for an excuse to throw some money around had thrown me a lavish birthday party. I had invited some of my friends from school and some of Mum and Dad’s friends were also present. One of Dad’s lawyer friends had just walked in with his son Bode. I first met Bode a few years back and each time I saw him, he seemed to get more handsome. He was about three years older, which would make him around about eighteen. He was now a freshman at the University of Benin. I really wanted to be his friend; I wanted to be around him all the time, sometimes I spent hours dreaming about what it would be like to live with him in the same house, waking up in the same house with him, watching the TV together in the evenings and all. I was so drawn to Bode; I just had to talk to him. On that day, I finally summoned up the courage. Bode was surprisingly easy to talk to and before long, we had become firm friends. We went to the mall together, to the movies, to parties. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with him, looking at his handsome face out of the corner of my eyes as he drove or as we walked along. I cherished every moment with him and looked forward to our hangouts. I was surprised and a little bit shocked to realize that I felt a rush of pleasure when he informed me that his girlfriend Melvina was ill and would spend a whole month in the hospital and would thus be unavailable to “keep him away from me”. Bode and I were practically inseparable. Continue reading

WEDLOCK PADLOCK

Gay-Marriage-Should-Not-Be-a-Federal-Issue1I turned twenty-six a couple of years ago. The day after my birthday, my mum woke me up; the time was a little past 3am. She said she couldn’t sleep, that she had tossed and turned through the night and had finally decided to come to me with this matter was of grave importance. Immediately, a sudden fear gripped me. Was someone in the family dead or in some sort of trouble? Or had one of these “no-good kito wearers” decided to out me for one reason or the other (a lot of these guys hang around my area, since I live close to a bar. I make it a point of duty to ignore their snapping fingers and whipping of imaginary hair). Anyway, the fear was real. And in the next few seconds, I thought my heart would explode.

As my mum sat close to me and held my hand in hers, I was tempted to throw my hands in the air and scream some form of explanation. At that time, I had just begun to accept my sexuality and was definitely not ready to come out of the closet. I couldn’t imagine her reaction should I try to explain that her only son preferred dicks to vagina. My mum is well known for overreacting and taking things to the extreme. As the seconds began to tick by slowly and my head swiftly began plotting fantastic stories I could tell to cover my tracks, she burst out with the most shocking words. She told me how she wasn’t getting any younger and how she wanted to carry her grandchildren as soon as possible. Long story short, she demanded to know who I was dating in order to kick-start the marriage process. She stressed the importance of marrying from our part of the country and that I was old enough to get married. Continue reading

Chinese researchers show gay men react to male sex pheromones

gay_genes_rectResearchers at the Chinese Academy of Sciences have released the latest research suggesting that sexuality is hardwired in the human brain by showing that gay men and women react to male sex pheromones while heterosexual men ignore them.

The scientists set up an experiment in which they exposed men and women to the pheromones androstadienone (found in male sweat and semen) and estratetraenol (found in female urine).

They then showed them a video animation of a person walking made up of dots marking the various joints of the body and asked to guess it was a man walking or a woman.

Heterosexual women and gay men who had been exposed to androstadienone were more likely to guess that the figure was a man, while exposure to the hormone had no effect on how heterosexual men guessed about the figure. Continue reading

HIS KITO STORY (EDITION 2)

This is Yomi’s kito story. Read and relate.

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blackman-thinkingI’m not the initiator-kinda guy. So when Pink Panther’s kito story got on my twitter TL, I was also transported through time to when I was worn my own kito.

I schooled in a boarding house (this is where homophobes and others will exclaim, “Ehen! I knew it. Na boarding dey always spoil them”). No o! it wasn’t the boarding house that ‘corrupted’ me. FYI, I had been very heterosexually active from those ‘mummy and daddy’ moments when boys saw girls as ‘The Enemy’ and tried to avoid them, even up until after them reproductive system biology classes in Secondary School when I started being afraid of leaking sperm…hmmm, maybe I’m trying to convince y’all, maybe convince myself as well. Continue reading