My tale is not quite different from every gay boy that grew up in this country. The feeling of being alone, scared and judged by everyone you know, even your parents. I had my first sex at 18, with a boy I really cared about. However, it didn’t take long before our egos took over the relationship. By this time, I had accepted who I am. A boy that loves to eat and fuck ass.
Then, this urge came in. The urge to fuck, to caress and dump my load in some pretty boy. My friends said my urge was normal and I was acting out because I broke up with my boyfriend. But no, it was more than that. I craved sex, not love. Does this make me a hoe?
I wanted it. I didn’t want to belong to anyone. Love didn’t mean much to me anymore because of the state of the nation. Different laws that prevents the embrace of my sexuality in public places. So I took my phone and created a second profile on twitter and began to meet people and do hook-ups in different hotels and even their places.
I don’t believe this makes me a hoe, or anyone for that matter. I don’t believe having sex with random people makes you a hoe or “casted” like some would say. Sometimes, I stay in my room thinking if there can be real gay love in a place where it is strongly prohibited, and I’ve come to a conclusion that there’s just little or none.
Most Top guys like me have embraced this theory of mine and they abide by it. Even those, who force themselves to believe that love exist, meet a hot guy and begin to have second thoughts, after realising that he has had sex with most gay guys in the state. Not because he is a hoe, but truly, all most people just want is a good fuck from someone, after which they’ll go about their business. Does that fleeting desire make them hoes? I’m not discouraging relationships, no. I just believe it hard to really, really fall in love with a guy and have them both stay faithful to each other in Nigeria.
Written by Tobi, tweets at @TobiTrill